Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > The introduction forum
Reload this Page Hello loves.
The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
ShinyToyHunter69 ShinyToyHunter69 is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 5
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Washington state
ShinyToyHunter69 is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.ShinyToyHunter69 is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Hello loves. - 06-29-2015, 03:23 AM

My name is Rachel (I'm automatically saved, because I have a biblical name), and my favorite bible verse is:
He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.
8. Deuteronomy 23:1
Obviously it's from the King James.

ISIS are all muslim faggots.
I hope we can all be friends.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus

 
Posts: 79,708
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hello loves. - 06-29-2015, 03:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShinyToyHunter69 View Post
My name is Rachel (I'm automatically saved, because I have a biblical name), and my favorite bible verse is:
He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.
8. Deuteronomy 23:1
Obviously it's from the King James.

ISIS are all muslim faggots.
I hope we can all be friends.
Dear Addle-Headed Girl;

Kindly post the Scripture that backs up your claim of being Saved by virtue of your name.

What church does your father take you to? What's your best pie? Please share more with us about the sins you have wallowed in.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
ShinyToyHunter69 ShinyToyHunter69 is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 5
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Washington state
ShinyToyHunter69 is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.ShinyToyHunter69 is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Hello loves. - 06-29-2015, 03:36 AM

Sir, I have already read the rules of this Godly site. I mean no disrespect Pastor Ezekiel. Also, I was trying to make a joke about my name being saved, I realize that there is no such passage. I apologize.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Witch Hammer's Avatar
Witch Hammer Witch Hammer is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

2010 Witch Hunt Award One Year/1000 posts 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Provider™ award Pro-Life True Christian™ Friend of Jesus Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Porn Resistant Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Pro-Life True Republican Saved 5 Years Tell her once Christian Love The Lord’s Witness Wound Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Flat Earth Persecuted Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Punched the most queers Eats the Most Pork Kirk Cameron Fan Club Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016!

 
Posts: 1,712
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Angry Re: Hello loves. - 06-29-2015, 05:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShinyToyHunter69 View Post
Sir, I have already read the rules of this Godly site. I mean no disrespect Pastor Ezekiel. Also, I was trying to make a joke about my name being saved, I realize that there is no such passage. I apologize.
Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor, and neither do we, witch.
Galatians 6:7
Quote:
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap
I'd be $h!tting bricks right about now if I were in your shoes.
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
ShinyToyHunter69 ShinyToyHunter69 is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 5
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Washington state
ShinyToyHunter69 is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.ShinyToyHunter69 is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Hello loves. - 06-29-2015, 05:12 AM

I wasn't mocking Jesus ma'am. I apologize for the confusion.
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Witch Hammer's Avatar
Witch Hammer Witch Hammer is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

2010 Witch Hunt Award One Year/1000 posts 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Provider™ award Pro-Life True Christian™ Friend of Jesus Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Porn Resistant Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Pro-Life True Republican Saved 5 Years Tell her once Christian Love The Lord’s Witness Wound Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Flat Earth Persecuted Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Punched the most queers Eats the Most Pork Kirk Cameron Fan Club Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016!

 
Posts: 1,712
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Guns Re: Hello loves. - 06-29-2015, 05:22 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShinyToyHunter69 View Post
I wasn't mocking Jesus ma'am. I apologize for the confusion.
Who are you calling ma'am?
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Elmer G. White's Avatar
Elmer G. White Elmer G. White is offline
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
Victim of atheist scientific persecution
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Friend of Jesus Christian Love True Christian™ Touched by Jesus Persecuted Honorary Ex-Eskimo Ex-Scandinavian Ex-eurotrash True Scientist™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Doctor Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Flat Earth Prayer Warrior Ex-Masturbator Tell her once True Christian Caucasian Real American™ Porn Resistant The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts 2014 Witch Hunt Award Mower Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Mission to Messico Saved 1 Year Platinum Tither Eats the Most Pork True Heterosexual™ 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory BFF of Jesus Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Alternative Facts True Christian Nerd GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Get Behind Me Doctor - NO TEAM FORTRESS!

 
Posts: 8,829
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Love Jesus Re: Hello loves. - 06-29-2015, 05:25 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShinyToyHunter69 View Post
I wasn't mocking Jesus ma'am. I apologize for the confusion.
A cautions Welcome to you, young Lady. You seem to have your heart in the right place and you are seeking Jesus in earnest. However, please do not be too hasty in your posting, for instance, Mr. W. Hammer would not probably appreciate being called a "ma'am".

Proverbs 29:20
Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? there is more hope of a fool than of him.



But, do not worry, if you persist, be patient and learn, keep God's commandments (all of them), get a baptism and do some marital begetting (1 Timothy 2:15), Jesus will eventually Redeem you and you have a chance of seeing HEAVEN with us!




Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Elmer G. White's Avatar
Elmer G. White Elmer G. White is offline
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
Victim of atheist scientific persecution
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Friend of Jesus Christian Love True Christian™ Touched by Jesus Persecuted Honorary Ex-Eskimo Ex-Scandinavian Ex-eurotrash True Scientist™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Doctor Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Flat Earth Prayer Warrior Ex-Masturbator Tell her once True Christian Caucasian Real American™ Porn Resistant The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts 2014 Witch Hunt Award Mower Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Mission to Messico Saved 1 Year Platinum Tither Eats the Most Pork True Heterosexual™ 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory BFF of Jesus Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Alternative Facts True Christian Nerd GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Get Behind Me Doctor - NO TEAM FORTRESS!

 
Posts: 8,829
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Unhappy Re: Hello loves. - 06-29-2015, 05:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White View Post
...for instance, Mr. W. Hammer would not probably appreciate being called a "ma'am".

Proverbs 29:20
Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? there is more hope of a fool than of him.
My warnings were too late... Indeed, unfortunately you've upset a close personal friend of Jesus, Mr. Hammer and caused some emotional grief and distress. I suggest some prayers in addition to a sincere apology.

Psalms 130:4

But there is forgiveness with thee, that thou mayest be feared.


Yours in Christ,


Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Witch Hammer's Avatar
Witch Hammer Witch Hammer is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

2010 Witch Hunt Award One Year/1000 posts 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Provider™ award Pro-Life True Christian™ Friend of Jesus Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Porn Resistant Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Pro-Life True Republican Saved 5 Years Tell her once Christian Love The Lord’s Witness Wound Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Flat Earth Persecuted Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Punched the most queers Eats the Most Pork Kirk Cameron Fan Club Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016!

 
Posts: 1,712
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hello loves. - 06-29-2015, 05:35 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White View Post
My warnings were too late... Indeed, unfortunately you've upset a close personal friend of Jesus, Mr. Hammer and caused some emotional grief and distress. I suggest some prayers in addition to a sincere apology.

Psalms 130:4

But there is forgiveness with thee, that thou mayest be feared.


Yours in Christ,


Elmer
I will forgive this silly woman if her repentance is sincere, and she sins no more.
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
ShinyToyHunter69 ShinyToyHunter69 is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 5
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Washington state
ShinyToyHunter69 is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.ShinyToyHunter69 is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Hello loves. - 06-29-2015, 05:49 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer View Post
Who are you calling ma'am?
I am SO sorry. I guess I was being a stupid woman, I shouldn't be online, I'm distracted by all the dishes I should be doing right now. I know it's not an excuse, and I am very sorry sir. I will pray to God to help me be not be such a dumb woman, and more obedient. Please forgive me, it will not happen again. Sorry to anybody that I offended with my stupidity.
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
ShinyToyHunter69 ShinyToyHunter69 is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 5
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Washington state
ShinyToyHunter69 is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.ShinyToyHunter69 is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Hello loves. - 06-29-2015, 05:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White View Post
A cautions Welcome to you, young Lady. You seem to have your heart in the right place and you are seeking Jesus in earnest. However, please do not be too hasty in your posting, for instance, Mr. W. Hammer would not probably appreciate being called a "ma'am".

Proverbs 29:20
Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? there is more hope of a fool than of him.



But, do not worry, if you persist, be patient and learn, keep God's commandments (all of them), get a baptism and do some marital begetting (1 Timothy 2:15), Jesus will eventually Redeem you and you have a chance of seeing HEAVEN with us!




Yours in Christ,

Elmer
Thank you for your kindness. I'm reading my bible right now, all I want is to be saved. I am so tired of being a sinner and I am trying to change. I will change and go to heaven with all of the God-fearing members of this amazing website!
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Witch Hammer's Avatar
Witch Hammer Witch Hammer is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

2010 Witch Hunt Award One Year/1000 posts 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Provider™ award Pro-Life True Christian™ Friend of Jesus Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Porn Resistant Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Pro-Life True Republican Saved 5 Years Tell her once Christian Love The Lord’s Witness Wound Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Flat Earth Persecuted Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Punched the most queers Eats the Most Pork Kirk Cameron Fan Club Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016!

 
Posts: 1,712
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hello loves. - 06-29-2015, 06:32 AM

Quote:
I am SO sorry. I guess I was being a stupid woman, I shouldn't be online, I'm distracted by all the dishes I should be doing right now. I know it's not an excuse, and I am very sorry sir. I will pray to God to help me be not be such a dumb woman, and more obedient. Please forgive me, it will not happen again. Sorry to anybody that I offended with my stupidity
Fair enough, wench. Your unfeigned expression of regret has softened my heart for the time being. However, I feel it is my duty as a True Christian alpha male to issue this rebuke:



You dress like a tart. A man without my rigid moral compunctions might be inclined to m@sturbate furiously to such a photograph, securing himself a place in eternal hellfire!
Proverbs 7:10
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Faith_Machine's Avatar
Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Porn Resistant True Republican The Lord’s Witness Wound Pro-Life Ex-liberal Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Flat Earth Tell her once Guns, Guts and GLORY! Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior TC Bravery True Christian Hotrodder Tagging for Jesus Paula Deen Negro Support Group Early riser Touched by Jesus 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mission to Korea Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Sheep Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts

 
Posts: 9,820
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hello loves. - 06-29-2015, 11:09 AM

Hello Shiny, I am sorry you've gotten off on the wrong foot here, and I would be most delighted to help you learn to fit in a little better.

Tell me, do you have a Web cam?


WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
Dr Laurence Niles's Avatar
Dr Laurence Niles Dr Laurence Niles is offline
Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Porn Resistant Pro-Life Christian Love One Year/1000 posts True Republican Ex-Brit Ex-eurotrash Eats the Most Pork Super Soaker Baptism Award Gold Tither True Christian Provider™ award Batman Shooting Survivor True Scientist™ Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Prayer Warrior Divorcee The Lord’s Witness Wound Punched the most queers Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Trump of GOD Pancake Dinner Pastor Ezekiel Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Mission to Korea Probing for Jesus ex-sheep-shagger Asked questions later Crown of Incorruptibility GLORY

 
Posts: 9,004
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hello loves. - 06-29-2015, 11:46 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShinyToyHunter69 View Post
My name is Rachel (I'm automatically saved, because I have a biblical name), and my favorite bible verse is:
He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.
8. Deuteronomy 23:1
Obviously it's from the King James.

ISIS are all muslim faggots.
I hope we can all be friends.
Not so fast, little miss. You salvation comes via one method only.

I Timothy 2:15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

How many children have your born?

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson's Avatar
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Friend of Jesus Heaven Bound Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Prayer Warrior Best stoning bucket A for Effort One Year/1000 posts Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Mission to Messico 2015 Witch Hunt Award

 
Posts: 1,329
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Hello loves. - 06-29-2015, 10:49 PM

Welcome, Rachel. You are most welcome to learn more and become Saved by Him! But there is so much you must do -- be baptized, marry, obey ALL the commandments in the Bible (please capitalize God's most precious and holy Word), and bear children. Also, you must behave in a modest, Christian, ladylike, meek, and submissive manner. Contact me if you need any help. I can offer one other tip of advice -- read the entire KJV Bible before the week is out!

Yours in Christ,
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
Alvin Moss's Avatar
Alvin Moss Alvin Moss is offline
Serving Jesus
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Proud Niglet Sponsorer Touched by Jesus One Year/1000 posts Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Sons of Liberty Porn Resistant Early riser Tell her once Persecuted Bronze Tither Punched the most queers Mission to Korea Trump of GOD True Republican Donald Trump 2016! 2015 Witch Hunt Award Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Hands Off True Heterosexual™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Nuke of Heaven Crown of Glory Mower Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Crown of Incorruptibility Alternative Facts

 
Posts: 4,119
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hello loves. - 06-30-2015, 03:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShinyToyHunter69 View Post
My name is Rachel (I'm automatically saved, because I have a biblical name)




.

You are mistaken. John 3:7 lets us know that we must be born again in spirit if we are to achieve salvation.


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
Reply With Quote
(#17)
Old
JohnnyTightLips JohnnyTightLips is offline
Unsaved trash, lying sodomite
 

Cathlick Perv

 
Posts: 36
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: in bed with my fag boyfriend
JohnnyTightLips is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JohnnyTightLips is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JohnnyTightLips is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JohnnyTightLips is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JohnnyTightLips is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JohnnyTightLips is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JohnnyTightLips is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JohnnyTightLips is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JohnnyTightLips is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JohnnyTightLips is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JohnnyTightLips is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Hello loves. - 06-30-2015, 08:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer View Post
Fair enough, wench. Your unfeigned expression of regret has softened my heart for the time being. However, I feel it is my duty as a True Christian alpha male to issue this rebuke:



You dress like a tart. A man without my rigid moral compunctions might be inclined to m@sturbate furiously to such a photograph, securing himself a place in eternal hellfire!
Proverbs 7:10
lol. that isn't even that revealing of a pic. especially compared to the girls in porno who are totally nude. i don't watch porno though heh.


Rom.1:26-27
For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature. And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
Reply With Quote
(#18)
Old
Damned Angelique's Avatar
Damned Angelique Damned Angelique is offline
Waiting in line to buy a ticket on the short bus
Forum Member
 
Posts: 40
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: On the interwebz
Damned Angelique is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Damned Angelique is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Damned Angelique is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Damned Angelique is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Damned Angelique is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Damned Angelique is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Damned Angelique is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Damned Angelique is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Damned Angelique is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Damned Angelique is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Damned Angelique is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Hello loves. - 07-01-2015, 06:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnnyTightLips View Post
i don't watch porno though heh.
Sure you don't...


Ezekiel 23:3 And they committed whoredoms in Egypt; they committed whoredoms in their youth: there were their breasts pressed, and there they bruised the teats of their virginity.
Reply With Quote
(#19)
Old
Brother Jessup's Avatar
Brother Jessup Brother Jessup is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS

 
Posts: 137
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: The Holy Land = U.S.A.
Brother Jessup has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Jessup has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Jessup has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Jessup has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Jessup has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Jessup has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Jessup has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Jessup has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Jessup has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Hello loves. - 07-02-2015, 03:09 AM



Selfies taken in front of the mirror by painted whores are a sign of vanity, and vanity is a sin according to scripture!

Proverbs 31:30
Quote:
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
Psalm 119:37
Quote:
Turn away mine eyes from beholding vanity; and quicken thou me in thy way.

Loose women are not welcome in God's paradise, nor are they welcome here.

Btw, you look like a common jezebel asking to get raped! Doesn't it make you feel the least bit guilty knowing that you could cause a perfectly innocent God fear'n Christian man to rape you?

Worse yet, the poor victim will be obligated to buy you from your father for fifty shekels of silver, and then he'll be forced to marry you too! As a woman, you should learn to act and dress more responsibly!

You ought to be ashamed of yourself, unworthy whore!

The Honorable Brother Jessup T. Lloyd has spoken……..…Amen!


The Lord’s Hang’n Judge – convicting the wicked and condemning the heretic!

Quote:
And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war. (Revelation 19:11)
Reply With Quote
(#20)
Old
Des's Avatar
Des Des is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Real American™ Friend of Jesus Heaven Bound True Christian™ Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Guns, Guts and GLORY! Tell her once Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Sons of Liberty Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Early riser Super Soaker Baptism Award One Year/1000 posts Teabag Patriot True Christian Hotrodder Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! 2015 Witch Hunt Award Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A True Christian Nerd Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars

 
Posts: 2,559
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Land of Manifest Destiny
Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hello loves. - 07-02-2015, 03:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnnyTightLips View Post
lol. that isn't even that revealing of a pic. especially compared to the girls in porno who are totally nude. i don't watch porno though heh.

Just last week my assistant, Mariko, came out of the hotel bathroom dressed similarly. I promptly threw her down on the bed and pummeled her backside with a flogger I hastily made using clothes hangers. Even a Chinese Gook from Tokyo like her should remember to have some modesty. Show some self respect for goodness sake, harlot!


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2018 all rights reserved