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Reload this Page Hello Guys and Girls! New person here.
The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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The Greasy Broccoli The Greasy Broccoli is offline
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Default Hello Guys and Girls! New person here. - 06-29-2015, 08:36 PM

This is my first time joining a forum but i was good enough to find my way to the introduction category.

I am glad to have found my way to these forums. My name Ted Blanco. I was praying to god, and asking for help after one my friend died in a after being hit by someone who didn't stop at a stop sign. After going to church a for a few months, a few days ago a friend named Marcus told me about this place, so here i am. I am looking to learn more about the Bible and make friends here.

Does Anyone know where i can find the Rules? There are a lot of threads and i cant look through them all right not. I look forward to learning more and making friends.
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Default Re: Hello Guys and Girls! New person here. - 06-29-2015, 09:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Greasy Broccoli View Post
This is my first time joining a forum but i was good enough to find my way to the introduction category.

I am glad to have found my way to these forums. My name Ted Blanco. I was praying to god, and asking for help after one my friend died in a after being hit by someone who didn't stop at a stop sign. After going to church a for a few months, a few days ago a friend named Marcus told me about this place, so here i am. I am looking to learn more about the Bible and make friends here.

Does Anyone know where i can find the Rules? There are a lot of threads and i cant look through them all right not. I look forward to learning more and making friends.
That is a pretty lame introduction. Nevertheless I will oblige and direct you to the most basic rules of this forum. Even though you seem blind to the Bible verses and fail to capitalize God even though you are a self proclaimed Christian, the Christians here might take mercy on you and make it come to pass that you receive thy sight (Luke 18:35-43)*

* By praying for you


Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.
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The Greasy Broccoli The Greasy Broccoli is offline
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Default Re: Hello Guys and Girls! New person here. - 06-29-2015, 09:30 PM

Sorry about that, I didnt know how to make it better unless you wanted me to make it a murder mystery. Not capitalizing god, it was a mistake i wont make again. But thanks for pointing me in the right direction.
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Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Hello Guys and Girls! New person here. - 06-29-2015, 09:54 PM

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Originally Posted by The Greasy Broccoli View Post
Sorry about that, I didnt know how to make it better unless you wanted me to make it a murder mystery. Not capitalizing god, it was a mistake i wont make again. But thanks for pointing me in the right direction.
Don´t feel bad Greasy,

Since you proclaim to be a Christian: Tell us who you are, what Church you attend, what your favourite Bible verse is and how you found Jesus (or vice versa).

You also seem to have something you need to get of your chest:
Quote:
my friend died in a after being hit by someone who didn't stop at a stop sign
Losing someone you like might suck. If you are a Christian it might not. Was your friend perhaps an Amorite, Hittite, Perizzite, Canaanite, Hivite, or Jebusite? Then he/she should surely be cut off: Exodus 23:23.


Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.
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Default Re: Hello Guys and Girls! New person here. - 06-29-2015, 10:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Greasy Broccoli View Post
Sorry about that, I didnt know how to make it better unless you wanted me to make it a murder mystery. Not capitalizing god, it was a mistake i wont make again. But thanks for pointing me in the right direction.
You say that not capitalizing God is a mistake you "wont make again," but once again, you failed to capitalize the "G". A very cautious welcome to you.


And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6.5
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Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is offline
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Default Re: Hello Guys and Girls! New person here. - 06-29-2015, 10:45 PM

Welcome. Please tell us more about yourself. I mean, if you are wanting to be a Christian, you really should do as your superiors asked. I mean, I was a mere stupid female girl when I joined, and my intro was better than yours. You must pray that God removes the demons from your rectum. Mrs. Johnson


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Default Re: Hello Guys and Girls! New person here. - 06-30-2015, 02:44 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Greasy Broccoli View Post
Sorry about that, I didnt know how to make it better unless you wanted me to make it a murder mystery. Not capitalizing god, it was a mistake i wont make again. But thanks for pointing me in the right direction.

We get many heathens here claiming to be saved. You can always tell the truth because their proclamations of love for Jesus lack sincerity. I believe you are one such. I am rarely wrong, but anything is possible. If ye be saved, tell us your story. If not, prepare for Hell.


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Default Re: Hello Guys and Girls! New person here. - 06-30-2015, 03:09 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Greasy Broccoli View Post
This is my first time joining a forum but i was good enough to find my way to the introduction category.

I am glad to have found my way to these forums. My name Ted Blanco. I was praying to god, and asking for help after one my friend died in a after being hit by someone who didn't stop at a stop sign. After going to church a for a few months, a few days ago a friend named Marcus told me about this place, so here i am. I am looking to learn more about the Bible and make friends here.

Does Anyone know where i can find the Rules? There are a lot of threads and i cant look through them all right not. I look forward to learning more and making friends.
Dear Greasy;

I don't like you. You are clearly a smart ass, and a godmocker. If your name is Ted then I'm the King of Spain.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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