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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Samuel Hubbard's Avatar
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Default Hello, My Name is Samuel - 07-10-2015, 02:32 PM

Hello!

My name is Samuel Hubbard. I live on the Eastern side of the US and I am courting the Godly Esther B. I don't remember when I found Jesus, as I've been following his words and obeying the Bible for as long as I can remember. While there is a Baptist church in my area, it does not follow the Bible's teaching uniforms to the letter, so my father, who is a Baptist Pastor, holds services in our house on Sundays. My favorite Bible verse is John 3:16 because I find it to incredibly inspiring and when I put emphasis on the words "whosoever believeth in him" when I witness to non-believers, they are often rendered silent when they realize that they do not truly believe in God.

There isn't a computer in my house, so all of my posts will be coming from either Esther's home computer or her laptop, which gives me the added bonus of being able to check on her internet activities.
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Default Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel - 07-10-2015, 02:45 PM

Greetings, and welcome. I joined this great site a few days ago myself.

I hope since you are courting a woman, you are following Biblical law on not having sex before marriage. Please see Hebrews 13:4 for one of many examples.
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Samuel Hubbard Samuel Hubbard is offline
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Default Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel - 07-10-2015, 03:13 PM

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Originally Posted by Mike Miller View Post
Greetings, and welcome. I joined this great site a few days ago myself.

I hope since you are courting a woman, you are following Biblical law on not having sex before marriage. Please see Hebrews 13:4 for one of many examples.
Thank you for your warm welcome and a belated welcome to you, too!

Of course we're following Biblical law.
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Pie Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel - 07-10-2015, 11:35 PM

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Originally Posted by Samuel Hubbard View Post
Hello!

My name is Samuel Hubbard. I live on the Eastern side of the US and I am courting the Godly Esther B. I don't remember when I found Jesus, as I've been following his words and obeying the Bible for as long as I can remember. While there is a Baptist church in my area, it does not follow the Bible's teaching uniforms to the letter, so my father, who is a Baptist Pastor, holds services in our house on Sundays. My favorite Bible verse is John 3:16 because I find it to incredibly inspiring and when I put emphasis on the words "whosoever believeth in him" when I witness to non-believers, they are often rendered silent when they realize that they do not truly believe in God.

There isn't a computer in my house, so all of my posts will be coming from either Esther's home computer or her laptop, which gives me the added bonus of being able to check on her internet activities.
I hope her father supervises you closely during your visits, young man! Prenuptial prodding is a big no-no!
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Default Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel - 07-10-2015, 11:42 PM

Welcome! I consider Esther as a sister, so I'm so glad she met a good Christian man to lead her to heaven. Make sure that when you marry her, you keep her pregnant 24/7, so that more sons can be born for Christ, and Esther and I will see each other in heaven.

Sincerely
Elizabeth


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Default Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel - 07-11-2015, 01:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer View Post
I hope her father supervises you closely during your visits, young man! Prenuptial prodding is a big no-no!
Of course he does!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson View Post
Welcome! I consider Esther as a sister, so I'm so glad she met a good Christian man to lead her to heaven. Make sure that when you marry her, you keep her pregnant 24/7, so that more sons can be born for Christ, and Esther and I will see each other in heaven.

Sincerely
Elizabeth
Thank you, Mrs. Johnson! I will try my best. Also, thank you for sending her the recipe for the stuffed pork loins. They were delicious.
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Default Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel - 07-11-2015, 03:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Samuel Hubbard View Post
Hello!

My name is Samuel Hubbard. I live on the Eastern side of the US and I am courting the Godly Esther B. I don't remember when I found Jesus, as I've been following his words and obeying the Bible for as long as I can remember. While there is a Baptist church in my area, it does not follow the Bible's teaching uniforms to the letter, so my father, who is a Baptist Pastor, holds services in our house on Sundays. My favorite Bible verse is John 3:16 because I find it to incredibly inspiring and when I put emphasis on the words "whosoever believeth in him" when I witness to non-believers, they are often rendered silent when they realize that they do not truly believe in God.

There isn't a computer in my house, so all of my posts will be coming from either Esther's home computer or her laptop, which gives me the added bonus of being able to check on her internet activities.
Welcome, dear. I know I said this to you last night, but I found your introduction to be excellent.


And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6.5
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Default Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel - 07-11-2015, 05:37 PM

Welcome Samuel. This Godly site is open to all who seek Jesus and fellowship with other Christians. I see that you reside in the "eastern part" of the US. That kind of description is usually a genteel reference to the Yankee areas, rendered by those who would just as soon not admit they live among those godless wretches. God hates Yankees and so do most other people everywhere. Every Christian in those regions, save a few stalwarts who have remained behind to try to save their fellow man, moved south or west a long time ago. Now, it is nothing but Democrats in those parts.

Tell us then, Sam, is it true? Do you reside among the Yankees? Do you feel menaced? Do the authorities try to keep you from going armed? What revolver do you favor?

God Bless!


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Default Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel - 07-11-2015, 05:50 PM

Welcome Mr. Hubbard. I did not see your name on the 'Friends of Landover' Tithing schedule nor have I seen any line items reflecting a gift Of Godly Love to the Pastors Discretionary fund. I'd like to know, how much do you love Gods Majesty?


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Samuel Hubbard Samuel Hubbard is offline
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Default Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel - 07-11-2015, 05:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Esther B. View Post
Welcome, dear. I know I said this to you last night, but I found your introduction to be excellent.
Thank you. I hope you remembered to buy ingredients for the stuffed pork loins that I asked you to make.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alvin Moss View Post
Welcome Samuel. This Godly site is open to all who seek Jesus and fellowship with other Christians. I see that you reside in the "eastern part" of the US. That kind of description is usually a genteel reference to the Yankee areas, rendered by those who would just as soon not admit they live among those godless wretches. God hates Yankees and so do most other people everywhere. Every Christian in those regions, save a few stalwarts who have remained behind to try to save their fellow man, moved south or west a long time ago. Now, it is nothing but Democrats in those parts.

Tell us then, Sam, is it true? Do you reside among the Yankees? Do you feel menaced? Do the authorities try to keep you from going armed? What revolver do you favor?

God Bless!
Thank you, Brother! Unfortunately, I do indeed live among the Yankees. I will admit that I sometimes do feel menaced and the authorities do try to keep my from going around armed. My father has several revolvers, but I prefer the Smith and Wessons.
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Default Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel - 07-11-2015, 06:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Samuel Hubbard View Post

I prefer the Smith and Wessons.

I favor the Smith and Wesson myself. In my youth, I used to carry around a heavy Colt .45, probably just to impress myself, but I have found that the S&W .38 Special/.357 Magnum will dissuade even the most recalcitrant wretch and even the odd unruly bear. It is lighter in weight and less expensive to replace, should it become necessary to dispose of the weapon. Many of the younger generation seem to carry around those new automatic pistols. Those are fine for target practice and fancy shooting, but they lack authority. I know attitudes change, but in my youth, only sissies carried around automatic pistols.


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Samuel Hubbard Samuel Hubbard is offline
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Default Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel - 07-11-2015, 06:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
Welcome Mr. Hubbard. I did not see your name on the 'Friends of Landover' Tithing schedule nor have I seen any line items reflecting a gift Of Godly Love to the Pastors Discretionary fund. I'd like to know, how much do you love Gods Majesty?
Forgive me for not replying to your post sooner, Mr. Hutchins, I was distracted by Esther's yapping and didn't realize that you posted. That's odd, I remember planning out my tithing schedule last night. Perhaps the computers in Esther's house are too slow. I will get on it ASAP.
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Default Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel - 07-11-2015, 07:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Samuel Hubbard View Post
Forgive me for not replying to your post sooner, Mr. Hutchins, I was distracted by Esther's yapping and didn't realize that you posted. That's odd, I remember planning out my tithing schedule last night. Perhaps the computers in Esther's house are too slow. I will get on it ASAP.
Responsibility and accountability. Good things in a Christian. I wish more were.

As far as Esthers constant dumb clucking, I sometimes apply peanut butter to the roof of my wife, Mrs. Hutchins mouth. It stops the noise and is interesting to see her lick her dentures trying to get it off.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel - 07-11-2015, 07:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
As far as Esthers constant dumb clucking, I sometimes apply peanut butter to the roof of my wife, Mrs. Hutchins mouth. It stops the noise and is interesting to see her lick her dentures trying to get it off.
I'm sorry to laugh about such a serious matter, Brother James, but that's exactly what my boys do to the neighbor's cats, to stop them doing their foul business on our land.


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Samuel Hubbard Samuel Hubbard is offline
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Default Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel - 07-11-2015, 11:02 PM

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Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
Responsibility and accountability. Good things in a Christian. I wish more were.

As far as Esthers constant dumb clucking, I sometimes apply peanut butter to the roof of my wife, Mrs. Hutchins mouth. It stops the noise and is interesting to see her lick her dentures trying to get it off.
That's a great idea! I think I'll try it next time Esther starts rambling about her hair or her skin or whatever she rambles about.
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Default Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel - 07-12-2015, 03:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Samuel Hubbard View Post
Thank you, Mrs. Johnson! I will try my best. Also, thank you for sending her the recipe for the stuffed pork loins. They were delicious.
Samuel, may I kindly suggest that next time you speak to her father, that you send Esther to my house for a couple weeks! I have much to show and teach her -- books are good and such, but being in person is so much nicer! If you would like to come, you are welcome -- but clearly, I'd keep you and Esther in separate wings and I'd keep the key to her room.


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Samuel Hubbard Samuel Hubbard is offline
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Samuel Hubbard is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel - 07-12-2015, 01:00 PM

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Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson View Post
Samuel, may I kindly suggest that next time you speak to her father, that you send Esther to my house for a couple weeks! I have much to show and teach her -- books are good and such, but being in person is so much nicer! If you would like to come, you are welcome -- but clearly, I'd keep you and Esther in separate wings and I'd keep the key to her room.
Her father is asleep right now, but I will definitely suggest it to him. Esther speaks quite highly of you, so I'm sure she will be pleased.
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Samuel Hubbard's Avatar
Samuel Hubbard Samuel Hubbard is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 64
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: God's Favorite Nation
Samuel Hubbard is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel - 07-12-2015, 01:17 PM

My apologies for double posting, but I have a question. Who should I message about getting Esther the Most Obedient award?
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Esther B. Esther B. is offline
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Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel - 07-12-2015, 01:21 PM

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Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson View Post
Samuel, may I kindly suggest that next time you speak to her father, that you send Esther to my house for a couple weeks! I have much to show and teach her -- books are good and such, but being in person is so much nicer! If you would like to come, you are welcome -- but clearly, I'd keep you and Esther in separate wings and I'd keep the key to her room.
That would be lovely, Sister! I think Samuel should come so he can stop at Naomi's pie shop.


And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6.5
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
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Default Re: Hello, My Name is Samuel - 07-12-2015, 05:41 PM

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Originally Posted by Esther B. View Post
That would be lovely, Sister! I think Samuel should come so he can stop at Naomi's pie shop.
I'm sorry to announce that Naomi's pie shops have all burned to the ground.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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