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Thumbs up Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!? - 01-12-2019, 05:50 PM

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Originally Posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
Mister Cranky, I am more than happy to come help you out in your time of need if you ever need anything. I know how to cook and do laundry. I also do a good job of ironing clothes and beating his meat (to make it tender for later) according to my Pa.
If, as it seems to be the case, Mr. Cranky is in the market for a new bride soon, have you considered asking your father to make him an offer? You're already 17, you really ought to get hitched before it's too late.


"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
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Default Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!? - 01-12-2019, 06:17 PM

My Pa dictates when I am to be married. I made no such offer to Mister Cranky. I’m no hussy that’d hit on a married man. It’s customary for women to help men in their times of hardship (i.e bake a pie or casserole). I am pretty offended you assumed that I was asking to be married even. Not my place sir!


My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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Default Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!? - 01-12-2019, 06:30 PM

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Originally Posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
My Pa dictates when I am to be married. I made no such offer to Mister Cranky. I’m no hussy that’d hit on a married man. It’s customary for women to help men in their times of hardship (i.e bake a pie or casserole). I am pretty offended you assumed that I was asking to be married even. Not my place sir!
You seem to have misunderstood me, girl. I was merely saying that, if Mr. Cranky becomes a widower, that perhaps your father should offer you as a bride. I was not insinuating that you would do anything untoward.


"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
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Default Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!? - 01-12-2019, 06:54 PM

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Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
You seem to have misunderstood me, girl. I was merely saying that, if Mr. Cranky becomes a widower, that perhaps your father should offer you as a bride. I was not insinuating that you would do anything untoward.
If Brother Cranky is ever looking for a new wife, he would be far more likely to choose a True Christian™ widow, a woman of good sense with her childbearing years long behind her, rather than some chit of a silly girl. Has he not suffered enough?


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Default Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!? - 01-13-2019, 12:05 AM

Hold on, Mister Dennis is making it seem as though Mrs Cranky is dead or dying. Who said anything of that sort?


My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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Default Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!? - 01-13-2019, 07:03 PM

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Originally Posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
Hold on, Mister Dennis is making it seem as though Mrs Cranky is dead or dying. Who said anything of that sort?
Look, if Brother Cranky is not getting any pie and the casserole is off limits, then Mrs. Brother Cranky might as well be.
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Default Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!? - 01-13-2019, 09:37 PM

Maybe you should pay her a visit, Doctor, just to make sure!
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Question Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!? - 01-27-2019, 02:58 PM

Is she still on the couch?


"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
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Default Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!? - 01-27-2019, 03:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
Is she still on the couch?
I think Brother Cranky said that her sister took her away a couple of weeks back. I certainly haven't heard any more about it, and I must admit it's something of a relief not to have Mrs C calling at all hours and rambling on incoherently. You'd think when I'd told her for the third time that no, I don't know how to skin and dress a coyote she'd have given up, bless her. Anyway, Brother Cranky's telephone bill will be a lot lower this month.


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Default Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!? - 04-22-2019, 08:10 PM

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Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
This is a first in the 91 years Jesus has granted me so far. I yelled at my wife, I screamed at my wife, I hit her with my favorite Bible, but nothing! Even reading Genesis 3:16 and Ephesians 5:22-24 from my Bible had no effect whatsoever. All she does is stare without blinking her eyes.

Is there anyone with similar experience who has any advice on how to deal with this? I am hungry and no one is cooking diner.
It’s probably because she has no obligation to do what you say and you’re abusing her.
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Default Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!? - 04-22-2019, 08:18 PM

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Originally Posted by Gum goblin View Post
It’s probably because she has no obligation to do what you say and you’re abusing her.
Didn't your mother ever teach you not to make baseless accusations? First of all, Cranky is an esteemed member of this church and his Salvation has been guaranteed. This means he is beyond reproach. Second of all, you don't know his wife!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!? - 04-27-2019, 11:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
This is a first in the 91 years Jesus has granted me so far. I yelled at my wife, I screamed at my wife, I hit her with my favorite Bible, but nothing! Even reading Genesis 3:16 and Ephesians 5:22-24 from my Bible had no effect whatsoever. All she does is stare without blinking her eyes.

Is there anyone with similar experience who has any advice on how to deal with this? I am hungry and no one is cooking diner.
Sir,I hope you have prayed over this minor trouble. God gave to you ,your wife and children. Please pray about it and ask them possibly what was the offence and problem. God can ask well in His Glorious wisdom tell you the root cause of the estrangement


John chapter 15 verses 13-14
Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.

You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.
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Default Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!? - 04-29-2019, 05:07 PM

Mr Cranky if you are reading this and your wife is still defiant, I will bake you a few pies and send them your way so that you won’t starve. The nerve of a wife to be so thoughtless. Colossians 3:18 makes it clear. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.


My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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Default Re: My wife stopped doing her duties!? - 04-30-2019, 03:02 PM

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Originally Posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
Mr Cranky if you are reading this and your wife is still defiant, I will bake you a few pies and send them your way so that you won’t starve. The nerve of a wife to be so thoughtless. Colossians 3:18 makes it clear. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
Good idea! Friend, I think that cranky wife should be talked to.
One day, we make it to heaven and all these life worrying issues just have to disappear. Cranky is the head of his family and should strong fisted and tough. If it gets too serious, family matters can be taken to the church committee for settlement in a biblical way


John chapter 15 verses 13-14
Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.

You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.
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