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Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Default I confess - 04-01-2019, 08:35 PM

I have decided to be completely gay and I have a crush on both James Hutchins and Dr Laurence Niles. My ministry is just a front to meet men!

Oh it feels food to let go of the facade.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Isabella White Isabella White is offline
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Default Re: I confess - 04-01-2019, 09:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
I have decided to be completely gay and I have a crush on both James Hutchins and Dr Laurence Niles. My ministry is just a front to meet men!

Oh it feels food to let go of the facade.

Oh, Brother Larry, please, no, don't do this. I know what a shock this will be to everybody at LBC, and I'm afraid this tragic news has made my pacemaker skip a beat. Please, I beg of you, don't go down that CNN road! Think of how disappointed dear Celestina would be, and what about darling Baby Jesus? I can hear him crying his little peepers out right now!



Lift ye then your voices;
Swell the mighty flood;
Louder still and louder
Praise the precious .
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Default Re: I confess - 04-02-2019, 12:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella White View Post
Oh, Brother Larry, please, no, don't do this. I know what a shock this will be to everybody at LBC, and I'm afraid this tragic news has made my pacemaker skip a beat. Please, I beg of you, don't go down that CNN road! Think of how disappointed dear Celestina would be, and what about darling Baby Jesus? I can hear him crying his little peepers out right now!
It's okay, Sister. I believe our dear manly brother is merely engaging in the April Fool's Day japery!


Psalm 62:5-7 KJV
My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence;
I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.
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Isabella White Isabella White is offline
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Default Re: I confess - 04-02-2019, 12:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dana723 View Post
It's okay, Sister. I believe our dear manly brother is merely engaging in the April Fool's Day japery!
Oh, I do hope so, Sister Dana. My old heart could not take being broken if Brother Larry should stray down that path to Nowhere. May God richly bless you, Dear. Sincerely, Isabella W.



Lift ye then your voices;
Swell the mighty flood;
Louder still and louder
Praise the precious .
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Default Re: I confess - 04-02-2019, 03:01 AM

Okay, who hacked your account?


Some days... I walk past my fellow brethren; men of Christ washed in Christ's blood. And I thank Lord Jesus Christ, my sinful days are long, LONG since behind me. I thank you Jesus for allowing me to accept you as my Savior, and leading me in the path of righteousness.
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Default Re: I confess - 04-02-2019, 03:26 AM

April fool!!!!!!! But you all knew that. Right?


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: I confess - 04-02-2019, 01:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella White
pacemaker
Pacemaker?
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Default Re: I confess - 04-02-2019, 01:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
April fool!!!!!!! But you all knew that. Right?
Oh, praise sweet, blessed Jesus! My prayers have been answered, Glory to God! Brother Larry, I am so happy that this was all just a joke, although I must say it caused me to lose some sleep. But that doesn't matter, just as long as you're safely nestled in the arms of Jesus. I couldn't accept that such a fine servant of the Lord would fall so quickly, and I just couldn't bear the thoughts of you going "all rainbow"!



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Louder still and louder
Praise the precious .
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Isabella White Isabella White is offline
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Default Re: I confess - 04-02-2019, 01:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
Pacemaker?
Yes, pacemaker, Dear blessed Sister Mitza. At 84, my old ticker isn't quite what it used to be. Sincerely, Isabella W.



Lift ye then your voices;
Swell the mighty flood;
Louder still and louder
Praise the precious .
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Default Re: I confess - 04-02-2019, 01:34 PM

Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Bule, Indigo, Violet. Except there seems to be a problem around the sort of "violet" area. Now I don't wish to use an expression (from the medicos) like "Steroid Stanley" but rather have been witnessing to some centenarians today, one of whom has taken up the bagpipes at 110. These are the Scottish bagpipes, blown by mouth; there are inferior models having bellows inflation I understood.

Have you considered this beneficial aerobic exercise?
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Default Re: I confess - 04-02-2019, 04:07 PM

Brother Larry, you almost gave me a heart attack. I caught sight of the date right as I was about to call John to tell him that he made a mistake. You really got me good with that one!
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Default Re: I confess - 04-02-2019, 04:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JamesH.B View Post
Brother Larry, you almost gave me a heart attack. I caught sight of the date right as I was about to call John to tell him that he made a mistake. You really got me good with that one!
Sorry Brother. I just assumed that everyone would immediately appreciate the joke considering my reputation for masculinity and heterosexualness.

Frankly I was a little jarred that more people didn’t catch it right away.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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