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Default Seriously? - 05-25-2019, 04:34 AM

Dead serious.

How stupid are you guys? Like, do you EVER fact check? I've been checking in on this forum for a couple months, everyday it gets dumber and dumber. Guys, please tell me this whole forum is satire. Please. Tell me you guys aren't actually this stupid and uneducated. Please tell me you guys have some form of common sense. PLEASE, for the love of your piffleing God, tell this is all sarcasm.
Jesus Christ.
I just want a clear answer.
Do you guys REALLY believe everything you say? Do you THINK before you speak? If so, you people are the reason lots of people see Christians as dramatic, You are the kind of people to make people atheists.
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Default Re: Seriously? - 05-25-2019, 05:46 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by _______ View Post
Dead serious.

How stupid are you guys? Like, do you EVER fact check? I've been checking in on this forum for a couple months, everyday it gets dumber and dumber. Guys, please tell me this whole forum is satire. Please. Tell me you guys aren't actually this stupid and uneducated. Please tell me you guys have some form of common sense. PLEASE, for the love of your piffleing God, tell this is all sarcasm.
Jesus Christ.
I just want a clear answer.
Do you guys REALLY believe everything you say? Do you THINK before you speak? If so, you people are the reason lots of people see Christians as dramatic, You are the kind of people to make people atheists.
What you need to do is read The Bible. Are you telling us that the Creator of the universe doesn't know how He created it? Doesn't know what happens in it? Gave us false warnings about false consequences when exactly what He warned about is happening all around us?

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Default Re: Seriously? - 05-25-2019, 10:37 AM

What has been said on these forums that’s so awful? The good people who attend Landover Baptist Church in Freehold Iowa are some of the godliest people I know. They follow the word of the KJV Bible. Nothing they say or do is contradictory to what they believe in. These forums are an extra place for them to communicate and preach in hopes of converting the unsaved into soldiers for Jesus and women to serve those soldiers. Nothing that’s said or done here is illegal either. Take your uppity atheist butt off the chair and read your Bible before you start making accusations around here you ignorant buffoon.


My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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Default Re: Seriously? - 05-25-2019, 01:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by _______ View Post
Dead serious.
How stupid are you guys? Like, do you EVER fact check? I've been checking in on this forum for a couple months, everyday it gets dumber and dumber. Guys, please tell me this whole forum is satire. Please. Tell me you guys aren't actually this stupid and uneducated. Please tell me you guys have some form of common sense. PLEASE, for the love of your piffleing God, tell this is all sarcasm.
Jesus Christ.
I just want a clear answer.
Do you guys REALLY believe everything you say? Do you THINK before you speak? If so, you people are the reason lots of people see Christians as dramatic, You are the kind of people to make people atheists.
Young lady, you have every right to ask questions, and we, the believers at , are in the position to answer SERIOUS questions. But if you have come on this Godly site to mock the followers of the , then you will find that that places you in the crosshairs of the wrath of Almighty:

I Chronicles 16:22 "Touch not mine anointed, and do my prophets no harm."

However, we do understand that you are angry and confused. You are in the right place to find the answers to your questions. We are here to testify to the wondrous Salvation through the shed of the Lamb, as outlined in the . Might I invite you to open your own copy of the , and to study with us, and to give your heart and soul to the , as you ask to forgive you and to cleanse you from your wretched, horrible, despicable, disgusting, appalling, shocking, scandalous, abhorrent, shameful sins, and to become washed in the cleansing that so graciously spilled for us on the cross at Calvary?

Once you do that, you will see how wrong you have been. And, you will rejoice with us, the believers at , in your eternal salvation and redemption as you learn, among other things, that has not only redeemed you from spending eternity in (where you rightfully belong), but, rather, He has provided you with a free, no-mortgage mansion in Heaven, behind secure gates of pearl, on gold-paved streets:

John 14:2 "In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you."

Revelation 21:21 " And the twelve gates were twelve pearls: every several gate was of one pearl: and the street of the city was pure gold, as it were transparent glass."

But, if you should choose to continue your life of sinful abominations, the only glimpse of Heaven that you will see is when you stand before the Almighty on Judgment Day, when you will, undoubtedly and very deservedly, hear these words: "GO TO !!"

Revelation 21:8 "But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death."

I shall pray for your soul, young lady. Eternity is forever. is unbearably hot. The is cleansing. The choice is yours.

Sincerely,
Isabella W.



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Sinner Re: Seriously? - 05-25-2019, 02:29 PM

Yes, we are serious, as serious as is God when He says He plans to scorch billions of people on Judgment Day.

Repent for your sins now or accept the consequences!
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Default Re: Seriously? - 05-25-2019, 09:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by _______ View Post
Dead serious.

How stupid are you guys? Like, do you EVER fact check? I've been checking in on this forum for a couple of months, every day it gets dumber and dumber. Guys, please tell me this whole forum is satire. Please. Tell me you guys aren't actually this stupid and uneducated. Please tell me you guys have some form of common sense. PLEASE, for the love of your piffling God, tell this is all sarcasm.
Jesus Christ.
I just want a clear answer.
Do you guys REALLY believe everything you say? Do you THINK before you speak? If so, you people are the reason lots of people see Christians as dramatic, You are the kind of people to make people atheists.
yes we all do, just as commanded.Matthew 5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.


-Ps 25:10 All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.
-Ps 33:4 For the word of the LORD is right; and all his works are done in truth.
-James 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
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Cross Re: Seriously? - 05-25-2019, 09:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by _______ View Post
How stupid are you guys?
Not very, Miss Blank. True Christians™ are, on average, more intelligent than others. Unlike bigoted atheists, who only allow the most intelligent into their universities and laboratories, we True Christians™ will accept anyone who accepts Christ (Romans 10:13), and is above the level of mental (and spiritual) retardation.


Quote:
Originally Posted by _______ View Post
Like, do you EVER fact check?
We most certainly do. The KJV 1611 Holy Bible is cited frequently on this forum. The Word of God is the highest factual authority in the universe (2 Timothy 3:16-17). This isn't the Clinton News Network (Titus 1:14). You'll find no fake news here, save when we expose and debunk it.


Quote:
Originally Posted by _______ View Post
I've been checking in on this forum for a couple months, everyday it gets dumber and dumber.
Well, I'm sorry you feel that way. Everything we say is in accordance with the teachings and commandments of Jesus Christ Almighty. With that in mind, you should refrain from insulting Him in the future, or He'll make you regret it (Galatians 6:7).


Quote:
Originally Posted by _______ View Post
Guys, please tell me this whole forum is satire.
It isn't.


Quote:
Originally Posted by _______ View Post
Please. Tell me you guys aren't actually this stupid and uneducated.
Our leader Pastor Ezekiel Flint is a modern day renaissance man and an honest to God genius. The smartest man on earth is a Christian. God Himself knows literally everything (Psalms 147:5, 1 John 3:20).


Quote:
Originally Posted by _______ View Post
You are the kind of people to make people atheists.
That's their loss. More room in Heaven for us.


"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
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Default Re: Seriously? - 05-26-2019, 12:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by _______ View Post
You are the kind of people to make people atheists.
Hello Miss or Mr. Underline (?). I am somewhat amused by your comment. You see, what usually makes people atheists is not the behavior of Christians, but rather the contents of the Bible itself. You know - the Holy Book which was either written by cruel and hateful men, or dictated to men by a cruel and hateful deity. Nothing that Christians say or do can change that simple fact.


John 14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
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Skull Re: Seriously? - 05-26-2019, 01:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by _______ View Post
Dead serious.

How stupid are you guys? Like, do you EVER fact check? I've been checking in on this forum for a couple months, everyday it gets dumber and dumber. Guys, please tell me this whole forum is satire. Please. Tell me you guys aren't actually this stupid and uneducated. Please tell me you guys have some form of common sense. PLEASE, for the love of your piffleing God, tell this is all sarcasm.
Jesus Christ.
I just want a clear answer.
Do you guys REALLY believe everything you say? Do you THINK before you speak? If so, you people are the reason lots of people see Christians as dramatic, You are the kind of people to make people atheists.
Friend, we are as deadly serious as the fires of Hell. As real as the searing brimstone burning the hair of your nostrils. As painful as fishhooks jammed in your eyes cast from the Golden Chariot® of God Himself.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Seriously? - 05-26-2019, 02:16 AM

Heathens will mock and jeer but never seem to comprehend. Exactly how dreadful are the consequences of their folly? Hell is the worst outcome imaginable, worse than we can imagine, and yet they draw funny pictures and tell silly stories about escapades on broomsticks with ghosts and magic stars. Satan encourages that for a reason.
I Thessalonians 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil.
Satan wants everyone to suffer torment as he himself is tormented. Even if he is the chief torturer, The Bible explains that he will be tormented too. There is a lake of fire prepared for him where all unbelievers will join him, suffering forever. Over and over again.

Choose Jesus today.
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Default Re: Seriously? - 05-26-2019, 05:08 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
Not very, Miss Blank. True Christians™ are, on average, more intelligent than others. Unlike bigoted atheists, who only allow the most intelligent into their universities and laboratories, we True Christians™ will accept anyone who accepts Christ (Romans 10:13), and is above the level of mental (and spiritual) retardation.
Wait? More Intelligent than others?
Yall believe the Earth is flat and that Vaccines cause Autism. I bet most of you guys couldn't do algebra!
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Default Re: Seriously? - 05-26-2019, 06:05 AM

I think you're getting confused with geometry.
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Love Jesus Re: Seriously? - 05-26-2019, 06:18 AM

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Originally Posted by Scoutman03 View Post
Wait? More Intelligent than others?
Yall believe the Earth is flat and that Vaccines cause Autism. I bet most of you guys couldn't do algebra!
Dear Sinner,

You are confusing "intelligence" with "knowledge of information that you accept". There must have been billions of people (and there still are some in the remotest corners of the Earth's disk) that have not heard of algebra, quantum mechanics, Riemann's theorem or the hypothesis of eternal inflation. Are they less intelligent because they don't know the things that you supposedly know? Intelligence is a complex issue that can be assessed by the capability to innovate and function within the framework of a particular culture, time point and personal circumstances. Basically, Newton did not know anything about vaccines. Does that make him less intelligent than you.

The framework where the intelligence of a True Christian™ is measured is the struggle to gain access into Heaven to as many sinners as possible and to remain knowledgeable about Bible and Jesus. Where do you stand with that measure of intelligence?

2 Peter 1:2
Grace and peace be multiplied unto you through the knowledge of God, and of Jesus our Lord,


Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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Default Re: Seriously? - 05-26-2019, 10:32 AM

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Originally Posted by Scoutman03 View Post
Wait? More Intelligent than others?
Yall believe the Earth is flat and that Vaccines cause Autism. I bet most of you guys couldn't do algebra!
As it's been pointed out several times. The Bible, Gods Holy Word has told everyone the earth is flat, and yet you sinners still don't understand. The Bible has no mistakes or misdirections it's absolute and full of the truth.


-Ps 25:10 All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.
-Ps 33:4 For the word of the LORD is right; and all his works are done in truth.
-James 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
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Default Re: Seriously? - 05-26-2019, 11:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by _______ View Post
Dead serious.

How stupid are you guys? Like, do you EVER fact check? I've been checking in on this forum for a couple months, everyday it gets dumber and dumber. Guys, please tell me this whole forum is satire. Please. Tell me you guys aren't actually this stupid and uneducated. Please tell me you guys have some form of common sense. PLEASE, for the love of your piffleing God, tell this is all sarcasm.
Jesus Christ.
I just want a clear answer.
Do you guys REALLY believe everything you say? Do you THINK before you speak? If so, you people are the reason lots of people see Christians as dramatic, You are the kind of people to make people atheists.
My thoughts exactly. I’m pastafarian (wink-wink). Go read our gospel. It’s life changing. Some of these emotions too....
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Default Re: Seriously? - 05-26-2019, 05:50 PM

How come crazies are able to penetrate the walls of this godly forum so easily? I asked my Pa what a pastafarian is and he looked at me like I was insane. I then showed him what this person just posted on the forums and he said he was enraged because it sounds like a Hillary voter. I’m scared that people like this “pastafarian” guy exist.


My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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Isabella White Isabella White is offline
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Default Re: Seriously? - 05-26-2019, 06:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
How come crazies are able to penetrate the walls of this godly forum so easily? I asked my Pa what a pastafarian is and he looked at me like I was insane. I then showed him what this person just posted on the forums and he said he was enraged because it sounds like a Hillary voter. I’m scared that people like this “pastafarian” guy exist.
Oh, dear Sister Maxine: We can be so grateful to have such Godly moderators here, at . Thanks to their fervent desire to stand bravely for the , any of those crazy intruders are zapped very quickly -- just as they will be on the Day of Judgment when they will be told to spend eternity in the pits of burning , which is exactly where they deserve to be.

Matthew 25:41 "Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels".

Now, then, your dear Pa is right once again, as is to be expected! Those pastafarianistic people almost certainly always vote for anybody who is NOT Godly. I suspect they're a break-away cult of the Cathyolicks (with Italiano heritage) because of their love of spaghetti. And another favorite food of those people is pizza, and we all remember the scandal about the pizza parlour, don't we? A blessed day to you, dear Sister. Sincerely, Isabella W.





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Praise the precious .
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Default Re: Seriously? - 05-26-2019, 06:41 PM

Wow it all makes perfect sense now! Thank you Miss White and I hope you have a stupendously fabulous and blessed day dear sister. I hope I can grow up to be as smart as you some day.

Yours in Christ,

Maxine


My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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