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Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed!

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Jesus My Message to the Youths - 05-19-2019, 04:54 PM

The junior pastor at my church was ill this morning (no one said what sin he committed to get sick) so I was asked to fill in for him as youth pastor. While the adults enjoy a soul-feeding from the senior pastor in the main sanctuary, the youths gather in an auditorium in the church basement for worship and praise followed by a snack and then a short message.


I chose today to be timely and speak on the topic of Ownership of the Uterus.


I recounted the Genesis story of creation to point out that GOD made us and therefore GOD owns us. He owns our pinkies, our toes, our hair, and our clothes. He owns our kidneys and our tonsils, our armpits and our pancreas. Most importantly, He owns our hearts. We should, therefore, give them back to Him every day in all we say and do. I briefly mentioned the sin of Onan and urged the boys to give Jesus their private parts. Then I gently directed this to the young ladies: JESUS OWNS YOUR UTERUS! I informed them that God would frown on them if they became non-virtuous ho's, giving their uteri to every boy in Bay Ridge. In no uncertain terms I told them that first they belong to God. 2nd, they belong to their husband and it's HIS choice when and how many times they become pregnant by their lawfully wedded husband, the master of the house.


A couple of the girls got up and left and said they would complain to the pastor, but I said WHO CAN ARGUE WITH GOD? (Romans 9:20) Abraham tried it. Moses tried it. Even the songster David tried it, but GOD WINS IN ALL CASES.


I told them of the evils of abortion, reminding them of the commandment THOU SHALT NOT KILL. I showed them pictures of actual abortions and a short video of a woman's 13th abortion which she actually laughs in and says "Just another day at the clinic." What? Just another stepping stone on her pathway to HELL


Some of the parents came up to me after church and thanked me, while others were telling me how inappropriate it was to delve into such topics. I have a meeting with the senior pastor tomorrow and I bet he wants to ask me to be the youth minister from now on instead of waiting on my Divinity degree.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: My Message to the Youths - 05-19-2019, 05:00 PM

What an excellent message, Brother Larry! I'm sure those girls that got up and left are already on the path to harlotry and baby-murder. As for the parents that complained, I'm sure that they're filthy liebrals who want their children to kill as many unborn Soldiers for God as possible. I will pray that you are hired as the new youth minister.
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Default Re: My Message to the Youths - 05-19-2019, 06:36 PM

What a wonderful message! Our youth needs to hear more sermons like this, instead of the "feel-good, God loves you, you are important" that they hear all the time. Praise God for your loving ways, Brother Larry!


Psalm 62:5-7 KJV
My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence;
I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.
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Default Re: My Message to the Youths - 05-22-2019, 02:47 PM

The devil entered the senior pastor and caused revocation of my offer to be youth minister. I left the church and am seeking a new church home that will use my obvious talent and zeal.

I know the Lord is moving in my life and I am just trusting in that confidence. I intend to remain on my knees constantly until He brings a miracle into existence. Do you hear me Landover???? A golden opportunity is within your grasp. But I am allowing God to take control. Jesus take my wheel!! Christ speak the word and I will be Your handmaiden. Lord Jesus bring me what I deserve.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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