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Reload this Page WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking!
Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for Women For the women of Landover to discuss recipes, shoes, makeup tips, or whatever it is you natter about. Ensure you have the proper permission from your husband or father before posting.

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Default Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking! - 12-31-2008, 06:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
I could eat a whole pack of these, myself!
Zeke, please assign someone to watch Brother Nobar. Make sure he doesn't double-dip any chips, piss in the potted plants, get a turn at watching the kids, or mix anything he brought into the food. SUV probably wouldn't mind doing that. They can watch each other.


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Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking! - 12-31-2008, 06:18 PM

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Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
(Sorry the picture is so large!)
What, it's not life-size?
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Default Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking! - 01-01-2009, 05:25 AM

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Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
I'm going to be bringing a couple of packs of these to the New Year's party. They're great with mustard (like the pic shows.)
I could eat a whole pack of these, myself!

(Sorry the picture is so large!)
Brother Nobar, did you take a good look at the ingredients on that package of wieners?!

It's cram-packed with SOY!!

Do you want to turn queer Brother? Toss that sack of franks right this minute!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking! - 02-18-2009, 04:01 PM

Nothing like a good plate of poutin to warm your body and give you some extra energy to make it thru the cold months:

Poutine

French fries topped with cheese curds, egg, bacon and covered in brown gravy.


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Default Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking! - 02-18-2009, 04:20 PM

I bought a case of bacon salt last year and I'm half way thru the first bottle. This stuff is great. It makes everything taste like bacon. It's a lot better than Lawry's garlic salt:



Buy a bottle of Baconnaise if you can find it:


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Default Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking! - 02-18-2009, 04:26 PM

You'd probably like this, too:


I hope you get to eat as much of this crap as you possibly can.


Things are going to get worse before they get better.
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Default Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking! - 02-19-2009, 06:11 AM




Since I'm still single, I have to rely on frozen or packaged food for my sustenance. If only someone would cook for me once in awhile.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking! - 02-19-2009, 07:00 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Since I'm still single, I have to rely on frozen or packaged food for my sustenance. If only someone would cook for me once in awhile.
Oh Pastor Zeke! There's no need for you to eat alone! My husband, Mr. Whitford, has a standing invitation for you to come eat at our home any day (but particularly when I am out of the house on Ladies of Landover business).


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1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

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Default Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking! - 02-19-2009, 11:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
I bought a case of bacon salt last year and I'm half way thru the first bottle. This stuff is great. It makes everything taste like bacon. It's a lot better than Lawry's garlic salt:



Buy a bottle of Baconnaise if you can find it:
From the dawn of mankind, man has looked up to the stars and asked, "Why the heck does anybody eat anything other than bacon?"

Seriously, I'm about to order $40 worth of this, are you certain it really tastes like bacon? Because I've tried eating fistfuls of those artificial bacon bits that get put on salads, and they are NOT bacony.

Baconnaise also sounds great, but I know I'd just grab and spoon and eat the entire jar in one sitting.
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Default Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking! - 02-20-2009, 01:39 AM

Regular salt is just so bland. After you buy your bacon salt you have to try a bacon salt margarita.


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Default Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking! - 02-21-2009, 01:45 AM

I eat lots of onions, too.


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Default Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking! - 02-21-2009, 08:33 PM

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Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
Regular salt is just so bland. After you buy your bacon salt you have to try a bacon salt margarita.
Alright, I'm taking your word for it. be warned that I have very sharp bacon-sensing abilities, and if this bacon salt doesn't convince me in the first bite, it's back to genuine chocolate-coated bacon for me.

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Default Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking! - 02-21-2009, 08:41 PM

Popcorn is oh-so-good when popped using rendered pig fat. It's so good that you don't even need to add butter to make it palatable. If you like it salty, bacon salt isn't really necessary. Regular salt will do.


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Default Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking! - 02-21-2009, 08:43 PM

I'm also a big fan of pancakes cooked with bacon fat. It burns at a low temperature, so your cakes get good and crispy on the outside while the inside is still light and fluffy.

Also, don't forget to get 'yer free pancakes on Feb. 24 at IHOP. They don't make 'em with bacon fat, but I'll eat them, especially if I don't have to cook them all.


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Default Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking! - 02-21-2009, 09:25 PM

Covered in real butter with Blueberry syrup, they're fine with me! And a wee bit of powdered sugar on top!


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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Default Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking! - 02-22-2009, 10:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
a wicked plate of deep-fried peanut butter, bacon and banana sandwiches...
This is a sandwich I used to serve the Reverend around 4:00 each day, as part of my "High Tea" ceremony. (Watercress and/or cucumber sandwiches just aren't substantial enough.)

With them I would serve muffins, two types of butter (one whipped with Jam, the other with honey), fruit salad, fresh baked cookies, cinnamon toast and a choice of cakes. Also, some type of light stew and a platter of cold sliced meats and cheeses with freshly pickled relishes at the ready. Of course I substituted coffee for tea, as it gives a more American feel to the snack, and always boiled a nice pot of hot lemon water for myself so I wasn't tempted to eat anything

If your husband doesn't work at home, it's easy enough to wrap each individual item in waxed paper, load a hamper, and drive it to his office or jobsite. And feeding husbands this little pick-me-up at 4:00 means you can be a little late with dinner, if need be. (Also, 4 meals a day instead of 3 insures he won't wake you in the night with any crying from hunger, and you can get your beauty sleep.)
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Default Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking! - 02-23-2009, 10:01 AM

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Now, now Pastor Pistle, there's no need to put on an act in front of us. It's obvious to any True Christian™ with eyes that you are pining for the late Mrs. Pistle's home cooking, God rest her soul.

I recall how she used to make a wicked plate of deep-fried peanut butter, bacon and banana sandwiches for your lunch every day!
OK, but there was no chocolate in it!


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"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking! - 02-26-2009, 07:10 AM

Baconnaise is so good it was featured on the Daily Show to high acclaim:
http://www.briansbelly.com/news-blog...here-to-stays/
John Stewart also liked the pancake-on-a-stick.


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Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
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Default Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking! - 02-27-2009, 03:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
Baconnaise is so good it was featured on the Daily Show to high acclaim:
http://www.briansbelly.com/news-blog...here-to-stays/
John Stewart also liked the pancake-on-a-stick.
The influence of Landover Baptist is far and wide. This isn't the first time a that a bit of chatter on this site has been picked up by the mainstream media.
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Default Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking! - 02-27-2009, 07:03 AM

In the Roberts household we don't consider it a proper meal unless it contains at least:
20,000 calories
10,000 mg sodium
300 grams fat, most of which are the good saturated type.

Furthermore, if it can't be hunted with a handgun, rifle or machine gun, it ain't food.
Vegetables are allowed as long as they total less than 1% of the entire meal. Heathen foods such as tofu and seaweed are not permitted.

Home made spirits are permitted only for adults over the age of 11.

Jesus told Mr. Roberts that this is the only acceptable diet for True Christians.


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