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Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

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Default Most "CHRISTIANS" are going to HELL! - 05-08-2009, 11:23 PM

I cannot readily find anything in the Bible that says GOD is going answer anyone's prayers on this earth and during this lifetime. People should be diligent, do what their pastors tell them and expect their reward in Heaven. That's why when you pray that little Fluffy isn't going to die, s/he does anyway. Basically, JESUS tells us to get out and do HIS bidding, not whine to him about what YOU want. He doesn't want to hear it and people who do that, which is almost everyone, are going straight down the fast escalator to Hell.

I am going to advise people to stop wasting JESUS' time and pissing Him off by praying for anything in THIS life. It makes Him send hurricanes and plagues of locusts to infest the earth. "Locusts" is the Biblical term for ornamental people, ragheads and dotheads who actually look like locusts if you stare at them long enough.

Jesus didn't carry a sword, but he told his disciples to be armed and it's the same today. Tithe to Landover and we'll handle the details. And that's why I pack a gun during my sermons. People know to sit quietly and listen politely and their kids had better be in mortal fear every second they are in church as GOD DEMANDS!

So....whenever you pray for something that's none of your business....which is everything....JESUS smites your friend or family member or pet or does something else to tell you to shut up; and if you don't catch the hint you are fresh meat for SATAN who is all lovey-dovey and pushing the DEMONCRATIC idea of peace and prosperity. That isn't in the Bible. Give your kid a 'time out'? WHAT IS THAT? BEAT THE BRAT BLOODY LIKE THE BIBLE SAYS! Satan is sissifying this entire nation and it's primarily due to prayer from greedy bastards who want a favor.

Friend, your prayer amounts to greed and you are praying yourself right into Lava Lake.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Most "CHRISTIANS" are going to HELL! - 05-08-2009, 11:29 PM

Amen pastor!! Preach it!!

God is a killer. Jesus will return as a warrior. Look at the Book of Revelations and you'll find out that Jesus is going to come back as a killer. And don't you forget that. God will kill almost everyone on earth!!

Wasting His time asking for a new color TV or your job back is only going to piss Him off.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Most "CHRISTIANS" are going to HELL! - 05-09-2009, 12:50 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Amen pastor!! Preach it!!

God is a killer. Jesus will return as a warrior. Look at the Book of Revelations and you'll find out that Jesus is going to come back as a killer. And don't you forget that. God will kill almost everyone on earth!!
Praise Jesus, Brother! Tell it like it is! Jesus is gonna come back a killing machine!

As all True Christians already know, when our Lord Jesus Christ returns to Earth, he will have white hair, eyes that shoot fire, feet of brass, be clothed in red, and have a huge sword sticking out of his mouth! All those who do not repent (jews, mudslimes, buddhists, wiccins, cattylicks, queers and similar trash) will be fought and hacked to death by Jesus (with the sword sticking out his mouth). Praise! (Revelation 1.13, 2.16, 19:13)

The Bible teaches us that when Jesus returns to lead the believers (ie. US True Christians ™) in the final battle against everyone else. That those who obey Jesus until the end (Us again!) will get to rule everyone else with an iron rod. We'll even get to smash the others into smithereens! Hallelujah! (Revelation 2.26)

I for one cannot wait! Glory to God!
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