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Reload this Page Glendora's Locust Biscuits
Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for Women For the women of Landover to discuss recipes, shoes, makeup tips, or whatever it is you natter about. Ensure you have the proper permission from your husband or father before posting.

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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-24-2007, 12:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
Jesus is very concerned about your language. Here at HIS favorite church, we avoid using the "P" word. Choo Choo, Tallywhacker, Seed Worm, or preferably Part A are much more acceptable. Please refer to our sex (forgive me Jesus) education guidelines at this link. HELPFUL MOTHER GLENDORA
"Choo Choo" is baby talk for a locomotive. Men do not have locomotives between their legs (despite the rather inflated self-image of some men).

A tally is a sum, and to whack is to hit something. How does one hit a mathematical concept? This non-word is nonsense.

Since worms do not grow from seeds, the phrase "seed worm" also makes no sense.

And "Part A" sounds like something from a set of instructions for assembling furntiure from a kit.

The correct name for the male urogenital appendage is "p***s." Get a dictionary.
Last edited by Pastor Ezekiel; 05-24-2007 at 01:15 PM. Reason: profanity
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-24-2007, 01:42 PM
When I was in therapy I had to go on an all True Christian™ approved diet. My favorite recipe was the Baptist Church-Fried Chicken Wings:


Quote:
Ingredients:
Oil, for deep-frying
1/2 cup/120g Buttermilk
3 tbsp/21g Creole Spice
2 cups/113g Flour
1 lb/450g Chicken Wings
Potato Salad, for serving
Parsley Sprigs, for garnish
Procedure:
In a deep fryer or high-sided skillet, heat oil to 360'F (182'C).
In a mixing bowl, combine buttermilk, 1 tablespoon Creole spice and 1/2 cup flour; mix well to make a paste. Season remaining flour with remaining Creole spice. Dip wings, one at a time, into batter, allowing excess to drip off. Dredge in seasoned flour.
Fry immediately in hot oil, 6 to 8 minutes, moving and turning pieces frequently with long tongs. Drain on paper towels. Do this in batches. If wings are large, remove with tongs, drain, transfer to a baking sheet and bake in a preheated 350'F (177'C) oven until very crispy, about 10 minutes. Serve with potato salad garnished with parsley sprigs.
Here
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-24-2007, 02:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
"Choo Choo" is baby talk for a locomotive. Men do not have locomotives between their legs.
Sister; when you decide to get right with Jesus and get a proper True Christian husband, I guarantee after your first fertilization you'll feel like you've been hit by a train. Fortunately, the gentle, rythmic exercise you'll receive bathing your husband afterwards will work out the kinks.
Last edited by Deaner; 05-24-2007 at 04:42 PM.
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-24-2007, 02:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deaner View Post
Sister; when you decide to get right with Jesus and get a proper True Christian husband, I guarantee after your first fetilization you'll feel like you've been hit by a train. Fortunately, the gentle, rythmic exercise you'll receive bathing your husband afterwards will work out the kinks.

ROFL!
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-24-2007, 04:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
Since worms do not grow from seeds, the phrase "seed worm" also makes no sense.
No, worms do not grow from seeds, the seed comes from the worm. I thought you claimed to have studied seculiar biology?

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-24-2007, 04:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
No, worms do not grow from seeds, the seed comes from the worm. I thought you claimed to have studied seculiar biology?
It's not a worm. A worm is an invertebrate animal, not a human body part.
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-24-2007, 04:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
It's not a worm. A worm is an invertebrate animal, not a human body part.
You godless heathens have got no sense of poetry, have you? Let me ask you a question: what do roes make you think of?

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-24-2007, 04:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
You godless heathens have got no sense of poetry, have you? Let me ask you a question: what do roes make you think of?
Deer.
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-24-2007, 04:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
Deer.
Anything else?

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-24-2007, 04:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Anything else?
Nope - roes are deer.
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-24-2007, 04:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
Nope - roes are deer.
And women have no sense of poetry. Especially unsaved women.

Song of Solomon 4:5 Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies.

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-24-2007, 05:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
And women have no sense of poetry. Especially unsaved women.

Song of Solomon 4:5 Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies.
I prefer the poetry of Lorca.
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-24-2007, 05:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
I prefer the poetry of Lorca.
Now you're just being deliberately perverse. I could probably count the number of good deeds the Catholic Church has done throughout history on the fingers of one hand, but shooting that queer communist dog down was undeniably one of their finest moments.

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-24-2007, 05:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Now you're just being deliberately perverse. I could probably count the number of good deeds the Catholic Church has done throughout history on the fingers of one hand, but shooting that queer communist dog down was undeniably one of their finest moments.
Pequeno Vals Vienes
(Federico Garcia Lorca)

Ay ay ay! Mi gusto!
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Mi amore el Comunista!
Ay ay ay!
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-25-2007, 03:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
I prefer the poetry of Lorca.
I prefer the poetry of the Holy Bible (KJV 1611).

Psalm 1:1-6
Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.
But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.
And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.
The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away.
Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.
For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.

Any more questions?
Last edited by H. Montague Worthington; 05-25-2007 at 03:36 PM.
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-25-2007, 03:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by H. Montague Worthington View Post
I prefer the poetry of the Holy Bible (KJV 1611).

Psalm 1:1-6
Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.
But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.
And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.
The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away.
Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.
For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.

Any more questions?
I didn't ask a question. I stated a fact.
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 06-29-2008, 08:10 PM
Bumped because I heard they are indeed back. You know what they say, "If there's a "u" in the month, locUst, are the Ultimate!

Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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