[Mary Etheldreda]

Clearly she reads the Holy Bible:

Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
1 Corinthians 6:18

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
Hebrews 13:4

[ditzygurl83]

Thank you Mary! I stick to my pies, it's what God wants!!

[Mary Etheldreda]

Originally Posted by ditzygurl83

Thank you Mary! I stick to my pies, it's what God wants!!

Of course, dear! Surely God wants nothing more from a woman. The only reason I know this is because I have a brood of children I homeschool. The only education they require is to read and KNOW the Holy Bible. That is, until the boys are old enough to be out from under my apron strings and take their lessons from other True Christian™ men, certainly not women like me.

But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
1 Timothy 2:12

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Since women are obsessed with sin, it follows that they are the primary offenders when it comes to masturbation and anal sex. They have a high propensity to commit lesbanian fornications, to live in California, to vote leftwards, to question God, to commit necrophilia and grave robbery, to divine by human entrails, to weave spells and conjury, and commit various other abominations that God forbids either directly or indirectly in His word.

For this reason, I have added this thread to my wife's weekly reading list. I know that it is dangerous to let a woman read and use the internet, so I actually read aloud to her and let her dictate to me her responses. She never actually touches the keyboard.

When I purchased her from her father for fifty shekels, not allowing her to learn to read was a special demand of his. I told him I wouldn't have it any other way.

[Cindy Lou Jenkins]

i'm not sure what masturbation is, but i suspect it is not for slaves, women, Amalekites, or Midianites, as they are not supposed to be masters of anything as punishment for their idolatries, fornications, and other forms of sinful rebellion.

i am so lucky that Billy Bob occasionally lets me have contact with the outside world like this. Hello, people!

Thank you, Billy Bob, for this undeserved privilege. i will now return to my post in the kitchen in the hope that you will open the windows for a little while this weekend. The Sun certainly is a marvel to behold.

(Billy Bob: I approve this post.)

[ditzygurl83]

I have heard that some women do it, but I can only imagine it to be vile and repulsive.

[Titus Templeton]

In the past i did this kind of thing, but im clean now since many years.
And its true that my memory was getting better and better.

[ditzygurl83]

Glad to hear you are doing better Titus

[Good Christian Woman]

Originally Posted by Virgin93

My apologies, I only was wondering how you know all that about it.

She doesn't need experience to know it's a disgusting sin. She has the Bible!

[ditzygurl83]

Yes thank you Good Christian Woman

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Before I found The Lord I would wack off like mad.

But then The Lord sent me my wife to take the urges from me via procreational sex.

When I wake her up in the middle of the night (my old risk time for onanistic activity) her lethargy and sleep addled docility means she is compliant without me needing direct her.

Now I get a really good night's sleep all the time, and while she's up she can bake me a pie
Posted via Mobile Device

[KittyKat]

Seems TV has found another way to get us all to please ourselves as we watch.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz...ient-List.html

[Good Christian Woman]

Originally Posted by KittyKat

Seems TV has found another way to get us all to please ourselves as we watch.

Please don't link to pornography on this site. It makes Baby Jesus cry.

[KittyKat]

Originally Posted by Good Christian Woman

Please don't link to pornography on this site. It makes Baby Jesus cry.

Woops I am very sorry about that, my dad and I saw it advertised on the TV and he said I should share it on here so others don't fall into the trap!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Originally Posted by KittyKat

Woops I am very sorry about that, my dad and I saw it advertised on the TV and he said I should share it on here so others don't fall into the trap!

It's usually a good guess that anything involving Jennifer Love Harlot is not something that needs to be shared in Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for Women.

It is good to bring such things to a Landover Pastor's attention, however.

A link in the Parenting section, perhaps with a "For Pastors Only" warning so our delicate ladies don't accidentally expose themselves to such filth, might be a better approach.

That way, the material can still be studied by Pastors, without anyone who might not have as firm a grasp on Jesus' Love getting wrong ideas.

[ditzygurl83]

Please follow the Rev.'s good advice! I do not wish to see this filth on here if I don't have to. My daddy watched that video with me and he asked me to close my eyes for 15 minutes while he thought about how to approach what we were watching. I did. Daddy must have also gotten a piece of pie, when he told me I could open my eyes he had obviously spilled some of the cream on my dress. He told me to never look at that again.

[MitzaLizalor]

Originally Posted by KittyKat

Seems TV has found another way to get us all to please ourselves as we watch.
[URL]http:// ..deleted

Naturally, I didn't click on that link but I can imagine the sort of perverts there were there gawping at one another across some totally irrelevant "fag hag" and I recall how innocent we were (but still sex perverts of course - if Saved we would not have been watching at all - but I was not Saved and I did watch) when we saw:

SPECIMEN ONLY - DO NOT CLICK PLAY

Horrible mincing females these days seem to have given way to horrible mincing perverts, blasphemy and communism. "The Supreme Soviet is dead!" "Long live the Supreme Soviet!"

Talk about a one party state..

[ditzygurl83]

Is this what people call pornography?? I can only imagine it is! Disgusting!! Look how she is gyrating, oh my, I have to tell my daddy about this!

[MillyJones]

I love to Masturbate. All the time. Every night actually. Usually 3-5 times if I have the energy
I know, I KNOW. Its a sin! I just can't stop..
Its okay.. I'll get my partner to do it for me.
My boyfriend.
Who I'm not married to.
Who is my fifth sexual partner.
I love being 18 <3
Its okay guys, I KNOW I CAN'T BE SAVED

[Brother Harold Porter]

That's nice. And thank you for sharing.

Say, are you aware that every time your body convulses in wicked and sinful pleasure, you earn another lap in the fiery lakes of Hell? And that Satan will be the only one with multiple orgasms as you are anally raped for all of eternity?

Is this worth it, my friend?

Repent. And cease frigging.

In Christ