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The Corona Virus Among the seven last plagues.

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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 10-15-2020, 10:29 PM

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Originally Posted by Uncle Rutherford View Post
Do you mean Brother Larry?
No, I haven't heard from him for a while. Perhaps he was lucky enough to die from Covid-19 and go to Heaven. I visited my friend in the Buffalo Center for Rehabilitation and Nursing which, to my surprise, didn't serve any buffalo wings. They should change the name. My friend kept complaining about how horrible it's there an how he wished Jesus would take him. I hugged and kissed as many people as possible so I am certain Jesus will now finally bless me with Covid-19!


Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 10-16-2020, 07:16 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa

Mark 8:23-24
23 And he took the blind man by the hand, and led him out of the town; and when he had spit on his eyes, and put his hands upon him, he asked him if he saw ought.
24 And he looked up, and said, I see men as trees, walking.

A wonderful example of Christ's healing power, not only of blindness but plague and demons too.

Philosophical Transactions (1683-1775), Volume 35, Page 449
Mr. Will. Chesselden, F. R. S., St. Thomas's Hospital, London.
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Note in particular at the beginning of paragraph 2: At first the things he saw he thought extremely large. - almost as if the men he saw walking were the size of trees. The young man had his vision restored after a lifetime of blindness and what did he see? Exactly what we already knew he'd see because it's recorded in The Bible.
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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 10-16-2020, 02:36 PM

I am home again and I feel horrible. How can I be sure this is Covid-19 and not something else?


Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 10-16-2020, 03:59 PM

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Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
I am home again and I feel horrible. How can I be sure this is Covid-19 and not something else?
There seem to be so many symptoms of this little bug that it's hard to tell. Did you have lunch or any other refreshments at the Buffalo Center, Brother Cranky? Because it might be food poisoning.


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 10-16-2020, 05:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Rutherford View Post
Do you mean Brother Larry? He’s the one who introduced me to Freehold when I was visiting upstate New York to help local police departments determine which predominantly black neighborhoods had gangs in them (spoiler alert: all of them dangit). He is a nice NICE fellow. Does he have COVID?
The last I know about Brother Larry, he went deep undercover penetrating some homosexual gangs in the New York City. Haven't heard from him since, which worries me but I always keep him close in my prayers.
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I am home again and I feel horrible. How can I be sure this is Covid-19 and not something else?
You should request a helicopter to the Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, just in case. After all, now that President Trump had the coronavirus, every infected American will be receiving the same treatment as he did, right?
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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 10-16-2020, 11:51 PM

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Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
Did you have lunch or any other refreshments at the Buffalo Center, Brother Cranky?
No. the food there was horrible.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
You should request a helicopter to the Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, just in case.
Biden must run that place. I called them but they hung up on me!

I am tired, have a high fever, a dry cough and I completely lost all sense of taste and smell. Could any of this be Covid-19?


Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 10-22-2020, 09:27 AM

I tried for months to get the Chinese novelty virus. I even went so far as to lock myself in my fallout shelter with house staff representatives from all over China. Taipei, Okinawa, Seoul, Phnom Penh, Hanoi. Nothing! Not a single chinawoman was able to infect me. I prayed with them singly, in pairs, even had a big prayer pile a couple of times and not even a sneeze.


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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 10-24-2020, 01:27 AM

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Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
I am tired, have a high fever, a dry cough and I completely lost all sense of taste and smell. Could any of this be Covid-19?
One way to check would be to get some radiation inside you, "UV" being ideal I've heard. "High pressure UV" (whatever that means) is the best apparently. Evidently you need to get in inside you somehow (maybe that's the "high pressure" bit?) anyway the point is if that does a number on your symptoms, if they go away in probably a few seconds even! then yes, it was the Covid.

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The means of application was troubling me and I looked something up so 365nm is high pressure or 100nm or 10nm would be the best (what nautical miles' got to do with it beats me, maybe go on a cruise?) and there was another method of getting the radiation which I'm not promoting but it's a 15 day course and according to the box the results are guaranteed.
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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 10-24-2020, 07:01 PM

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Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
I've never seen those particular violet wand attachments before, and had no idea that this was a way of getting the chinese novelty virus. I'll get mine out from under the bed and try it out. I should probably try it on a couple of the maids first, just to make sure it works.


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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 10-25-2020, 04:45 AM

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Originally Posted by Des View Post
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I haven't heard that ultra violets give..you bat plague but that if you had The Symptoms and took the UV and recovered then, what you had, was..the Corona.

Never having been on a cruise it's difficult for me to recommend that vector but amenities are supposed to be opulent. I can't see any point getting on a boat unless you're actually going somewhere. Did you know they even make bicycles that won't move no matter how hard you pedal? What's the point of that?
Hebrews 11:1e-2a Let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus
Satan has different ideas. Let's all remain in the same place, pedal ourselves blue-in-the-face dripping all over and look like we're having a stroke, is his idea of a race and Jesus standing there with the medal but no-one turns up for the prize He died to obtain.

"Prizes? Shmryzs!" sums up his attitude. "Why use vowels when you can get a jab of this and see the world rush by without even lifting a finger?" Satan's like that, always wanting something for nothing. When he challenged God it was no different, he seduced the angels (who turned into demons) and they got busy while he sat there cackling. "Ha ha the fools," I can imagine him saying. "I've got them running around doing something they don't want to so I can do something else!" He quaffs some adrenaline. "Ho ho he he ha ha." Watching his creatures go nuts he knows that for them there is no outcome, no prize. No race to win. The race never started: all their machines are bolted to the floor. Soon it will be over. Satan will dump them and they'll all be carted off; then..there will be a beginning. A beginning that lasts for ever. Torment, smoke, tooth gnashing, molten tar, wailing and all that effort for nothing.



Christians are not like that. Jesus offers a prize for an actual race but so many prefer the illusion of engagement and reject Him. For your household staff to receive a blessing I would avoid the lights I suggested which require a high voltage supply but I think there a smaller battery models available. On the other hand, if you considered the cruise option I've heard there's some great deals for a Caribbean and The Bahamas jaunt which they'd appreciate. Probably a bit cold for Alaska but Rio and Tierra del Fuego is another option with so many opportunities to spread His blessing to others. As I say though, just going there and then coming straight back or circling around for a week or two doesn't appeal to me so I wouldn't be able to accompany you.
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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 10-25-2020, 03:04 PM

I did something unusual. I got a doctor at my house who confirmed I am blessed with the Covid-19!

As soon as the doctor started babbling about ventilators and medicine I kicked him out. He must have been confusing me with a Biden voter.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
I haven't heard that ultra violets give you bat plague but that if you had The Symptoms and took the UV and recovered then, what you had, was the Corona.
I am not looking for any cures. If Jesus want's me to suffer, I will suffer (Romans 8:17)!

I feel truly horrible. I am in a lot of pain, especially when I try to breathe. Perhaps Jesus will finally allow me to go to Heaven.

My door is always open in case anyone also want to be blessed with the Covid-19!


Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 10-26-2020, 12:42 AM

So much blessing from God that you caught it; think of all those losers who forgot about Him and suffered. One leader stands out here. Of course I'm thinking of King Asa. What did he have? Gangrene? Chronic venous insufficiency? Diabetes? God knew and God acted!
II Chronicles 16:12-14b And Asa in the thirty and ninth year of his reign was diseased in his feet, until his disease was exceeding great: yet in his disease he sought not to the LORD, but to the physicians. And Asa slept with his fathers, and died in the one and fortieth year of his reign. And they buried him in his own sepulchres, which he had made for himself
This is a blessing in disguise; how much blessing can flow out from God? Enough to make us delirious? These were my thoughts reading about Asa but thinking isn't necessary and unhinged ravings have nothing to teach us about God.
II Timothy 1:7-9a For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me his prisoner: but be thou partaker of the afflictions of the gospel according to the power of God; Who hath saved us
Again a blessing in disguise; everyone can see this. Well, maniacs probably can't and some of the stuff out there sends people doolally waving their arms around like Hitler and generally seeming flipped out (quite apart from what they actually say) but that is not God. Those are not people under His dominion. They are not part of The Kingdom any more than Asa was.
Psalm 103:19-22 The LORD hath prepared his throne in the heavens; and his kingdom ruleth over all. Bless the LORD, ye his angels, that excel in strength, that do his commandments, hearkening unto the voice of his word. Bless ye the LORD, all ye his hosts; ye ministers of his, that do his pleasure. Bless the LORD, all his works in all places of his dominion: bless the LORD, O my soul.
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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-02-2020, 11:06 PM

I am still blessed by feeling extremely horrible and almost being unable to breathe. I am constantly coughing up blood, no doubt from eating a lot of red meat.

In case I survive long enough, how exactly does one vote for Donald Trump without leaving the house? I don't want to disappoint Donald Trump by not voting simply because he blessed me with Covid-19.


Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Trump Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-02-2020, 11:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
I am still blessed by feeling extremely horrible and almost being unable to breathe. I am constantly coughing up blood, no doubt from eating a lot of red meat.

In case I survive long enough, how exactly does one vote for Donald Trump without leaving the house? I don't want to disappoint Donald Trump by not voting simply because he blessed me with Covid-19.
"In case I survive long enough ..." Oh, dear Brother Cranky! Please do not become discouraged -- Dear help us! For someone as faithful as yourself, you have nothing to fear. is with you -- now, and evermore. He will lead you every step of the way to that polling station. I mean, this is servant, President Trump, that we're speaking of, and needs all of the President's fervent supporters to get out and vote, so, He will be with you!

Psalm 34:7-9:
7 The angel of the encampeth round about them that fear , and delivereth them.
8 O taste and see that the is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in .
9 O fear the , ye his saints: for there is no want to them that fear .

Now, then, as for your coughing and other regrettable, icky situations, those should pose no worry when you're at the voting station. As you know, you will likely need to wear a mask -- but only to prevent those LIE-beral, hysterical Demonrats from calling the police to make false reports. And, goodness knows, if you should develop a bit of a cough whilst voting, and if anybody mentions something, just say, "seasonal allergies" and then ignore them. What they don't know won't hurt them, and it's not like you're under obligation to tell your business to busybodies, especially when we know that they will use any excuse to print you up in the fake news media, Dear!


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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-03-2020, 01:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
I am still blessed by feeling extremely horrible and almost being unable to breathe. I am constantly coughing up blood, no doubt from eating a lot of red meat.

In case I survive long enough, how exactly does one vote for Donald Trump without leaving the house? I don't want to disappoint Donald Trump by not voting simply because he blessed me with Covid-19.
I am PRAYING that GOD gives you the STRENGTH to go VOTE tomorrow, Brother Cranky.




On a completely unrelated note, have you prepared your will and such? One never knows what's going to happen, and the church needs your estate and/or tithes now more than ever.
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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-03-2020, 08:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
I am still blessed by feeling extremely horrible and almost being unable to breathe. I am constantly coughing up blood, no doubt from eating a lot of red meat.

In case I survive long enough, how exactly does one vote for Donald Trump without leaving the house? I don't want to disappoint Donald Trump by not voting simply because he blessed me with Covid-19.
As long as you dress warmly and keep a fresh handkerchief to hand, I don't see why you can't go out to vote. I'm sure the community would welcome your sage, solid presence. Just have a helper bring you a folding chair to sit on if you are required to wait in line. A man of your station in life shouldn't be forced to just stand around.


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-04-2020, 03:41 AM

Psalm 90:10 The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away.
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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-04-2020, 07:52 PM

I have to say, I find the disinformation about COVID on your church's forums to be appalling.

COVID is a very real disease that kills. If you don't believe me, ask any emergency room or intensive care doctor about their experiences. Until safe and effective vaccines are ready and widely distributed, which I hope will be in mid-2021, the best way to protect yourself is to avoid large gatherings, practice physical distancing, wash your hands well before every meal, and wear a mask. It isn't a matter of politics or religious faith or personal opinion, it's science.


I hope you all stay safe and healthy!
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Bible Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-04-2020, 08:01 PM

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Originally Posted by Phony Tony Fauci View Post
I have to say, I find the disinformation about COVID on your church's forums to be appalling.

COVID is a very real disease that kills. If you don't believe me, ask any emergency room or intensive care doctor about their experiences. Until safe and effective vaccines are ready and widely distributed, which I hope will be in mid-2021, the best way to protect yourself is to avoid large gatherings, practice physical distancing, wash your hands well before every meal, and wear a mask. It isn't a matter of politics or religious faith or personal opinion, it's science.

I hope you all stay safe and healthy!
Oh, my! How nice of you to be so very concerned for us, dear Mr. Phony Tony, but we have nothing to fear, here at . You see, we are protected by the shed of the , so a pesky, little Chinese flu virus means nothing here.

II Thessalonians 3:3 "But the is faithful, who shall stablish you, and keep you from evil."

Now, then, let's move onto other, more important issues, shall we? We would like it if you would kindly make your way to our cordial Introduction Forum, so that you can introduce yourself -- properly -- to the believers at . The link to our friendly forum is here:

https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forumdisplay.php?f=16

Whilst there, please pay very careful attention to our simple, but important, requests:

The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

We look forward to getting to know you, Dear.


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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-04-2020, 08:40 PM

It's lovely to meet you, Doc. May I call you PT? It looks as though you'll have plenty of time on your hands soon, so I'm sure I speak for all True Christians™ here when I say I hope you'll stick around.

But really, there's absolutely no need to worry about us. We'll be absolutely fine, whatever happens. I'm much more concerned about you. At your age, you need to be taking it easy if you want to see your 80th birthday next month. And - much more important - you need to consider whether now is the time to abandon your "humanist" pretensions and get right with Jesus. It's entirely up to you, of course. But if you see sense, our pastors can help.

All the very best, PT. I will pray for you.
JL-V (Mrs)


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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