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The Corona Virus Among the seven last plagues.

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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-04-2020, 08:51 PM

Hey, Fauci, if I were you, I'd worry less about the coronavirus and more about spit shining my resume.


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A Christian President who'll get behind the working men of America and push hard for a better world.
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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-04-2020, 09:05 PM

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Originally Posted by Phony Tony Fauci View Post
I have to say, I find the disinformation about COVID on your church's forums to be appalling.

COVID is a very real disease that kills. If you don't believe me, ask any emergency room or intensive care doctor about their experiences. Until safe and effective vaccines are ready and widely distributed, which I hope will be in mid-2021, the best way to protect yourself is to avoid large gatherings, practice physical distancing, wash your hands well before every meal, and wear a mask. It isn't a matter of politics or religious faith or personal opinion, it's science.

I hope you all stay safe and healthy!
It is a well known fact, dear, that coronavirus disappears from the news effective today, because it was just a ploy by the Democrats to try to steal the elections.


As of today, nobody is wearing masks, and nobody dies of this nothingburger disease!
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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-04-2020, 09:07 PM

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Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
I am still blessed by feeling extremely horrible and almost being unable to breathe. I am constantly coughing up blood, no doubt from eating a lot of red meat.
I hope you've sought out proper medical attention. You belong in a hospital.

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Originally Posted by Isabella White View Post
You see, we are protected by the shed of the , so a pesky, little Chinese flu virus means nothing here.
You haven't heard the expression, the Lord helps those who help themselves?


Quote:
Now, then, let's move onto other, more important issues, shall we? We would like it if you would kindly make your way to our cordial Introduction Forum, so that you can introduce yourself -- properly
I don't have a lot of time these days, but I will do my best.


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Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
It's lovely to meet you, Doc. May I call you PT?
Thank you, and likewise. Tony or Anthony will be fine. I'm not sure who changed my name, but I'm concerned with your health, not the names that you call me. The President called me worse things in the Coronavirus Task Force meetings that I used to be invited to.



Quote:
It looks as though you'll have plenty of time on your hands soon, so I'm sure I speak for all True Christians™ here when I say I hope you'll stick around.
It looks like many people in Washington will be looking for new jobs soon. I will go wherever I am most needed to fight disinformation and keep America safe from infectious diseases.


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All the very best, PT. I will pray for you.
I thank you, and I wish you well, too.
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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-04-2020, 09:19 PM

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Originally Posted by Phony Tony Fauci View Post
...You haven't heard the expression, the Lord helps those who help themselves?...
Of course they've heard it. So they looked for it in their King James Bibles and... it's not in there. So they look at it as one more thing that the faithless and hellbound console themselves with when their prayers don't work.


Welcome to Landover.


RIP RBG
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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-04-2020, 09:29 PM

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Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
Of course they've heard it. So they looked for it in their King James Bibles and... it's not in there. So they look at it as one more thing that the faithless and hellbound console themselves with when their prayers don't work.
I'm no theologian, but doesn't James 4:17 tell us:


Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.


Everyone's prayers are welcome, but following a few simple rules will keep us all much safer in the midst of a pandemic. There are plenty of devout people of all religions who were diligent in their prayers yet still perished from COVID.


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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-04-2020, 09:31 PM

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Originally Posted by Phony Tony Fauci View Post
Everyone's prayers are welcome, but following a few simple rules will keep us all much safer in the midst of a pandemic. There are plenty of devout people of all religions who were diligent in their prayers yet still perished from COVID.
Pandemic, what pandemic? The election is over, which means the coronavirus hoax has served its intended purpose and is also over.
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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-04-2020, 09:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phony Tony Fauci View Post
I'm no theologian, but doesn't James 4:17 tell us:

Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin...
Your definition of the word "good" probably differs from that of the Bible, unless you also happen to approve of killing disobedient children, witches, non-virgin brides that were properly paid for, people who gather sticks on the Sabbath, those who offer incense to the altar when it wasn't demanded (and their families), etc.


Remember, according to the Bible, God sends plagues, He doesn't cure them.


RIP RBG
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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-04-2020, 11:38 PM

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Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
I am PRAYING that GOD gives you the STRENGTH to go VOTE tomorrow, Brother Cranky.
I fell in some kind of weird deep sleep and I slept through the entire election. I am certain Jesus voted in my place. Did Trump win with a well deserved huge landslide?

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Originally Posted by Phony Tony Fauci View Post
I hope you've sought out proper medical attention. You belong in a hospital.
Hospitals are created by Satan. I put my trust in Jesus!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella White View Post
For someone as faithful as yourself, you have nothing to fear.
I hoped Jesus would kill me so I could go to Heaven but it seems Jesus still has work for me to do.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
On a completely unrelated note, have you prepared your will and such?
I most certainly have. Nothing is more important than preventing your wife and children from inheriting anything. It would only make them lazy.


Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-04-2020, 11:39 PM

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Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
Your definition of the word "good" probably differs from that of the Bible, unless you also happen to approve of killing disobedient children, witches, non-virgin brides that were properly paid for, people who gather sticks on the Sabbath, those who offer incense to the altar when it wasn't demanded (and their families), etc.


Remember, according to the Bible, God sends plagues, He doesn't cure them.
There are some very positive healing messages there for those who want to see them:


Exodus 23:25: And ye shall serve the Lord your God, and he shall bless thy bread, and thy water; and I will take sickness away from the midst of thee.


Jeremiah 17-13-14: Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou art my praise.



Psalm 107:20: He sent his word, and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions.


Matthew 9:35: And Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people.

The Bible isn't always consistent, and I can't justify some of the less pleasant aspects of the Bible, but society has advanced in the last 2,000 years. Anyway, I'm not here to save souls, I'm here to save lives. And listening to the advice of doctors and public health officials will do that.
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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-04-2020, 11:44 PM

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Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
Hospitals are created by Satan. I put my trust in Jesus!
If you don't get to a hospital, with those symptoms, you'll likely be meeting him soon. We have learned a lot about treating COVID over the last eight months, so your chances are much better with treatment.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
Pandemic, what pandemic? The election is over, which means the coronavirus hoax has served its intended purpose and is also over.
Coronavirus is not a hoax. It wasn't created in a lab in China. It isn't milder than the flu. It is a terrible disease that has killed more than 1,000,000 people worldwide and is getting worse.
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Jesus Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-05-2020, 02:56 PM

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You haven't heard the expression, the Lord helps those who help themselves?
Oh, yes, I have heard of that expression, Dear Mr. Phony -- many times. I wasn't born yesterday, you know! And what part of my scriptural reference from the did you not understand?

II Thessalonians 3:3 "But the is faithful, who shall stablish you, and keep you from evil."

I'll leave a couple of other blessed assurances from Almighty , to show you that we are protected by . Grace is all that we need; so you can kindly keep your hideous masks, social distancing, and attempts to force a "vaccine" upon all and sundry to yourself, thank you very much!

Isaiah 54:17 "No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the , and their righteousness is of me, saith the ."

II Timothy 4:18 "And the shall deliver me from every evil work, and will preserve me unto heavenly kingdom: to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen."


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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-06-2020, 11:50 PM

Clorox injections cured me! Thank you Donald Trump for blessing me with Covid-19 at the Florida rally and for suggesting Clorox injections to get better! Thank you Jesus Christ for giving us Donald Trump!

On an unrelated note, my television has suddenly switched to black and white as has the view through my window. I destroyed my TV as Fox television was getting way to annoying anyway.


Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-07-2020, 12:43 AM

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Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
Clorox injections cured me! Thank you Donald Trump for blessing me with Covid-19 at the Florida rally and for suggesting Clorox injections to get better! Thank you Jesus Christ for giving us Donald Trump!

On an unrelated note, my television has suddenly switched to black and white as has the view through my window. I destroyed my TV as Fox television was getting way to annoying anyway.
That is wonderful news, Brother Cranky! I am so happy for you! As for the black and white, I have no idea. I've always seen things in black and white. No shades of gray.


Psalm 62:5-7 KJV
My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence;
I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.
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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-07-2020, 03:00 PM

Jesus was challenged about doing the right thing.
Mark 3:2-4 And they watched him, whether he would heal him on the sabbath day; that they might accuse him. And he saith unto the man which had the withered hand, Stand forth. And he saith unto them, Is it lawful to do good on the sabbath days, or to do evil? to save life, or to kill? But they held their peace.
Good is always the right thing to do. Would it be better to try some hit or miss therapy with a 20% likelihood of success or a proven remedy with only a 20% failure rate? But still not quite what Jesus was talking about. In black and white terms the choice would be something certain to make you worse or something certain to heal you. 0% or 100% is the question He asked, to save life or to kill.

There are people who tell us that Jesus didn't know what He was talking about. How they decided that is never clear and most of the time they don't know much about what He taught anyway. But they DO know that He was wrong. Or lying. Or never said anything other than what people made up for various reasons and wrote down for Him to seem real even though He wasn't. Or was, but actually said different things which they didn't like. Take your pick.

Christians accept what Jesus said yet often seem to doubt the 100% success rate He taught. The good thing to do. Better than the 80% or 20% or 0% shots which are really just shades of death. Choosing something worse can hardly be considered good - especially if you know what is best. It's the difference between good and evil, just as Jesus taught, all those years ago.

It remains the same today.
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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-10-2020, 04:23 AM

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Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
Clorox injections cured me!
Please do not inject or consume bleach or other household cleaning items. Bleach is very dangerous and can cause massive internal injuries that might well lead to death. Bleach is wonderful for removing viruses and other microorganisms from surfaces, but it is not medicine.



Quote:
On an unrelated note, my television has suddenly switched to black and white as has the view through my window. I destroyed my TV as Fox television was getting way to annoying anyway.
You need to get yourself to a hospital or doctor immediately. I am with you on Fox News, though.
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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-10-2020, 08:42 AM

I've been following your advice in a couple of threads. I notice it differs from God's advice. Are you suggesting God that got it wrong?

Perhaps you think God is in fact malevolent. In that case I guess He'd give false advice just to make things worse. But if you disagree with God, for me at least, you'd need to explain why you think that.

Why?

Because if God is wrong about afflictions such as virus or devils or the palsy then why should He not wrong about Salvation too? Hell is worse than virus, worse than fits or leprosy even if you get them all at the same time. God explains all these things but if He's wrong or malignant the future of every Christian is called into doubt.

Which agenda do you support?
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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-12-2020, 05:07 PM

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Originally Posted by Phony Tony Fauci View Post
Please do not inject or consume bleach or other household cleaning items. Bleach is very dangerous and can cause massive internal injuries that might well lead to death. Bleach is wonderful for removing viruses and other microorganisms from surfaces, but it is not medicine.



You need to get yourself to a hospital or doctor immediately. I am with you on Fox News, though.
This is just some kind of madness! Messengers receive "tips" on how to treat coronavirus. Some idiots are spreading nonsense about throwing soda into boiling water and breathing this steam. It doesn't take a genius to realize that steam can burn mucous membranes and cause severe inflammation. But some people, unique in their ignorance, are sending out this nonsense. I honestly try to treat people kindly, but to endure this heresy is no longer any faith and decency.
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Jesus Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-28-2020, 05:57 PM

Hello. As a fellow christian and obsessive masturbator, I can confirm that it is not masturbation which is causing the China virus pandemic, for I have not yet presented this disease. Instead, I believe it might be caused by the use of masks, as god has stated many times in the past that he deeply dislikes mask. Masks are also what jewish and muslim people wear, which in my opinion is terrible...... Corona Virus was invented by IRAN in 2007.

I wish you good luck in your journey to get this virus, although it is not more than a common flu.

Amen, brother.

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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - 11-29-2020, 10:12 AM

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Originally Posted by catfockjohnny View Post
. . . . [couldn't see anything of merit] . . . .
The corona virus needs "soda" in "boiling water" to die? What is "soda" and how does the boiling (I know what "boiling" looks like) get into the lungs?

The purpose here is to distinguish God's advice from other sources, sources not having created corona viruses to begin with, how to become afflicted well detailed in Scripture - how for your parched soul to be assuaged or to wither and to feebly cry?

After the event to rot and stink as your corporeal remains have rotted once He withdrew His adversarial component from the thoughts of human philosophers. Keeping them alive no more.




Genesis 6:3-5 And the LORD said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also is flesh: yet his days shall be an hundred and twenty years. There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown. And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.
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Default Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19? - Yesterday, 03:31 PM

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Originally Posted by catfockjohnny View Post
Hello. As a fellow christian and obsessive masturbator... <childish nonsense deleted>
Look let's face it, your role in overcoming the CORVID pandemic is going to be fairly small. Best if you can just keep yourself clean and stay out of the way like a good boy.



Ephesians 5:18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit
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