[Cranky Old Man]

The biggest problem we have in America is women. They completely forgot why God created them and they have started to behave like men. Since women are completely incapable of reaching the level of skill and intellect of men this has caused huge problems that need to be solved, now!

1st Timothy 2:11-12 "Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence."


Keeping women at home will: Fix our economy.
Ridiculous anti-discrimination laws have forced reluctant employers to hire women for jobs. This is costing a lot of money while those women are horrible at their jobs. Also these women take up spots from men who would have been able to perform those jobs perfectly fine! Replacing all working women with all unemployed men will reduce cost and increase productivity drastically! It will boost our economy beyond that of China again in no time.

Mark 7:8 "For laying aside the commandment of God, ye hold the tradition of men, as the washing of pots and cups: and many other such like things ye do."

Our women "workforce":



Solve all traffic problems.
Since women can't drive they are responsible for 98.6% of all traffic related accidents. Since all women drive as if there are no other people on the road, removing them all from the road will permanently solve all traffic congestions. Since women drive around aimlessly burning fuel trying to figure out why they took the wrong way, again, stopping them from doing that will drastically reduce demand for oil and thereby reduce the price of gas significantly.

Women can't drive, it's undisputed:



Eliminate crime.
Criminals are simply boys who have been neglected by their mothers. Whores are simply girls who have been neglected by their mothers. All mothers who refused to properly raise their kids, because they wanted careers instead. As if a women would ever be capable of having a career. By staying at home where they belong and raising their children, instead of neglecting them, those children will no longer grow up to become criminals and whores. They will become proud patriotic Americans instead!

Teaching them Christian family values:



Make our army strong again.
If there is one job women are especially bad at, it is being a soldier. It's absolutely ridiculous to watch a women wearing an army uniform and pretending to know what a gun is supposed to do. We would have crushed the Taliban already if women in the army weren't yapping on and on and on making all communication systems completely useless for actual warfare.

Deuteronomy 22:5 "The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.

This "army" would lose any war:


You don't want her to defend America:



Prevent the Obama disaster from repeating itself.
Women are way too stupid to decide who to vote for. By keeping them at home during elections men can select a real president like Sarah Palin and a real government capable of getting America on track again. Allowing women to vote must have been the single biggest mistake ever made.

Isaiah 3:12 "As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths."

Too stupid to vote:



Prevent them from becoming lesbians.
By keeping your wife and daughters at home all them time it will be impossible for them to become filthy lesbians. Once you have selected a proper husband for one of your daughters she can move to his house and stay there forever. Preventing your grand daughters from becoming lesbians as well. Mary Cheney would never have become a lesbian if she would have stayed at home.

Prevent disaster:



Allow them to serve their husbands 24/7.
In our demanding modern 24/7 economy men need women who take care of them around the clock. When you arrive home late, after some well deserved fun with your friends, your wife should be ready to take off your coat and fetch your newspaper, pipe and slippers. Women are the happiest when they have no career, car or money problems to worry about. It allows them to dedicate all their time and energy to what they love most and what they are best at: serving their husbands like God intended.

Genesis 3:16 "Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."

A serving woman is a happy woman: