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Default I need advice - 09-26-2007, 09:33 PM

I really need advice. I attend a local nondenominational church. They don't seem to care about the behavior of many in the congregation. Why, just the other day, my mother made me sweep the floor at our house! When I said something to my youth pastor, he said "You should do what your parents say." I agree with him, but even when what they say goes against the Bible? Please pray and offer any advice. Thanks.

-Andrew
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Default Re: I need advice - 09-26-2007, 09:36 PM

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Originally Posted by Andrew Barrick View Post
I really need advice. I attend a local nondenominational church. Please pray and offer any advice. Thanks.

-Andrew
Get thee to an independent FUNdamentalist Baptist Church.

After that, we can work on the rest of your problems.

YIC
V
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Default Re: I need advice - 09-26-2007, 09:47 PM

There aren't any around but I'll keep looking. Any advice about my parents?
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Default Re: I need advice - 09-26-2007, 09:54 PM

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Originally Posted by Andrew Barrick View Post
There aren't any around but I'll keep looking. Any advice about my parents?
Hate them but honour them like Jesus wants you to.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: I need advice - 09-26-2007, 09:57 PM

Even though he is a nondenominational "pastor", and is therefore likely to be a Hellbound Liberal, he is actually right in this case. Jesus said, in Matthew 15:4, "For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death."

My advice would be that your mother should go to Home Depot, buy a 4 foot length of PVC pipe, and beat you with it every time you back sass her.

Pastor Billy-Reuben


Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
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Default Re: I need advice - 09-26-2007, 11:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Billy-Reuben View Post
Even though he is a nondenominational "pastor", and is therefore likely to be a Hellbound Liberal, he is actually right in this case. Jesus said, in Matthew 15:4, "For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death."

My advice would be that your mother should go to Home Depot, buy a 4 foot length of PVC pipe, and beat you with it every time you back sass her.

Pastor Billy-Reuben
But remember friend you need to also hate your parents while you honor them.
Quote:
Luke 14:26 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children,and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple
God hates the lukewarm so there better be some active loathing of your family here. Every day you are not actively plotting your parent's death is a day that Jesus weeps when He sees you.



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Default Re: I need advice - 09-27-2007, 03:05 AM

I'd agree with Brother V. Get yourself in a good, independent, fundamental, bible-believing church that preaches the Bible. Do everything they say, and it'll solve ALL of your problems.
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Default Re: I need advice - 09-27-2007, 12:31 PM

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Originally Posted by Andrew Barrick View Post
There aren't any around but I'll keep looking. Any advice about my parents?
Please do keep looking, and I will keep you in my prayers. In the meantime, since you haven't found a proper church and thus aren't able to put anything into the collection plate, I suggest that you hit the PayPal button and support the work of the Lord. We must seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness before worrying about our own problems (Matt. 6:33).


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

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Default Re: I need advice - 09-27-2007, 12:40 PM

Wow. Thanks for all the advice. By the way Billy, I added the PVC pipe to my mom's shopping list myself.
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Default Re: I need advice - 09-27-2007, 12:55 PM

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Originally Posted by Andrew Barrick View Post

Wow. Thanks for all the advice. By the way Billy, I added the PVC pipe to my mom's shopping list myself.
... and make sure she gives you the what-for with it every time you're a bad boy, Andrew ...

Let us pray, Sister Noddy


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Default Re: I need advice - 09-27-2007, 05:01 PM

I think the problem here is initiative. Show some pro-active-ness, Andrew, and instead of waiting for your mother to ask you to sweep the floor, grab a great big King James 1611 Bible, walk right up to her and proclaim - "the Lords will be done. You WILL sweep this floor this day woman. Praise Jesus!".
That way when she tries to make you do it, she is rebelling against God, and should be beaten or stoned her for her disobedience.
Using the Bible in this way is a Godly, time-honoured and correct method of accomplishing your aims. Try it at school, or in times of civil disobedience. Using the Bible as a symbol of authority and power in every aspect of your life will frighten people into obedience, and they 'll do what you want them to out of fear of rebelling against God.
Its actually quite easy, but don't ever get tempted to take advantage of that power or act in a hypocritical manner. God hates that.


The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine."
Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
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Default Re: I need advice - 09-28-2007, 06:21 PM

You can be sure I will! P.S. I found a church. Praise!
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Default Re: I need advice - 09-28-2007, 06:54 PM

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Originally Posted by Andrew Barrick View Post
You can be sure I will! P.S. I found a church. Praise!
What Bible version do they use? Do they accept the five points of Calvinism? Do they turn around and look at you funny when you stand up and shout "AMEN!"?

Pastor Billy-Reuben


Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
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Default Re: I need advice - 09-28-2007, 07:06 PM

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You can be sure I will! P.S. I found a church. Praise!
What do you mean YOU FOUND A CHURCH?!?!?! Do you mean a church OTHER THAN LANDOVER BAPTIST?!?!?


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Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: I need advice - 09-28-2007, 10:28 PM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post

What do you mean YOU FOUND A CHURCH?!?!?! Do you mean a church OTHER THAN LANDOVER BAPTIST?!?!?
I was wondering the same thing! Andrew, explain yourself!


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Default Re: I need advice - 10-01-2007, 12:38 PM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
What do you mean YOU FOUND A CHURCH?!?!?! Do you mean a church OTHER THAN LANDOVER BAPTIST?!?!?
Of course not! I found a local church to supplement your teachings, but you are still my primary source.
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Default Re: I need advice - 10-01-2007, 02:14 PM

We're not catholics here -- we don't need any external supplement to the Teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. When you have the whole Truth™ and nothing but the Truth™, what else would you possibly need or want?!


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Default Re: I need advice - 10-02-2007, 03:11 AM

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Originally Posted by Andrew Barrick View Post

Of course not! I found a local church to supplement your teachings, but you are still my primary source.
We are your only sourse, sissyboy. Do you want to get to Heaven when you die? Then you be sure to take the advice of the Godly Dr CE Ville, Andrew.

Not only do you not need any supplement teachings, you don't need any of those other kind of christians. After all, GOD only knows what manner of watered-down-inverted-perverted nonsense they go by!

You need True Christians™ around you like a protective cocoon filled with the truth of Jesus' tough love. Be careful of the company you keep on your own personal road to salvation, for ...

Luke 6:22 Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake.

For Jesus' sake!


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Default Re: I need advice - 10-02-2007, 06:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
What do you mean YOU FOUND A CHURCH?!?!?! Do you mean a church OTHER THAN LANDOVER BAPTIST?!?!?
There are other churches besides Landover Baptist? I didn't know that. No matter; anyone who attends them is probably a homer or a Clinton supporter-or both.
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Andrew Barrick Andrew Barrick is offline
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Default Re: I need advice - 10-04-2007, 07:21 PM

I took all of your advice down to the last word. I quit the supposedly Baptist church that I found. It turns out that the pastor was a homer. I am renouncing anime, nickelodeon, and masturbation, among other sins, and have rebuked all of my unGodly former friends and am fighting my way through liberal public school. All for Christ's sake. Praise Jesus!

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