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Reload this Page Oreos come out of the closet as cookies for queers.
Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Default Oreos come out of the closet as cookies for queers. - 06-26-2012, 07:58 PM

In this latest attempt by Satan to turn normal people gay, Oreo (Nabisco division of Kraft Foods) has released a show of solidarity with the queer acceptance movement.




I am calling on all Christians to join with Landover Baptist church as we boycott the fag lifestyle of soul damning, nation-destroying filth company Kraft.

Ephesians 5:11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.

Here is a list of all the foods that Kraft puts out that I don't want to see in any Christian household.

Quote:
  • Africana (Romania)
  • Air Crisps
  • Ali Coffee
  • Alpen Gold (chocolate) (Hungary, Russia)
  • Arrowroot biscuits
  • Back to Nature
  • Bagel-Fuls
  • Baker's (chocolate)
  • Balance Bar
  • Bassetts Allsorts (sweets) (United Kingdom)
  • Better Cheddars
  • Boca Burger
  • Bonox
  • Breakstone's
  • BullsEye Barbecue Sauce
  • Cadbury plc
  • Café HAG
  • California Pizza Kitchen (grocery store items)
  • Calumet Baking Powder
  • Cameo (biscuits)
  • Capri Sun (juice drink)
  • Carte Noire
  • Cheesybite
  • Charada (Peru)
  • Cheese Nips
  • Cheez Whiz
  • Cheezels (Malaysia)
  • Chicken in a Biskit
  • Chips Ahoy! (cookies)
  • Chipsmore (Malaysia, Singapore)
  • Christie (Canadian division of Nabisco)
  • Claussen (pickles)
  • Clight
  • Club Social (crackers)
  • Cool Whip (non-dairy whipped cream)
  • CornNuts (snack food)
  • Coronita (Peru)
  • Côte d'Or
  • Country Time (powdered drink mix)
  • Cracker Barrel
  • Crystal Light
  • Daim (Sweden)
  • Dairylea (Europe)
  • Delissio (Canada)
  • Easy Cheese
  • Eden processed cheese (Philippines)
  • El Caserío (Spain)
  • Estrella (Sweden)
  • Field (Peru)
  • Fig Newton
  • Figaro (Chocolate) (Slovakia)
  • Filipinos (snack food) (Spain, Portugal)
  • Freia (Norway)
  • Fudgee-O (Canada)
  • General Foods International
  • Gevalia (Sweden)
  • Grape-Nuts (breakfast cereal)
  • Green & Blacks (chocolate) (United Kingdom)
  • Grey Poupon (mustard)
  • Handi-Snacks
  • Halls (medicated sweets) (United Kingdom)
  • Harvest Crisps
  • Honey Maid
  • Hospitals
  • In-A-Biskit (Australia)
  • Jack's Pizza
  • Jacobs (Europe)
  • Jacob's (biscuits)
  • Japp (Scandinavia)
  • Jell-O (gelatin dessert)
  • Jet-Puffed Marshmallows
  • Jiagai (China)
  • Kenco (United Kingdom)
  • Knox (gelatin)
  • Kong Haakon (Norway)
  • Kool-Aid (flavored drink mix)
  • Korona (Ukraine)
  • Kraft BBQ Sauce
  • Kraft Caramels
  • Kraft Macaroni and Cheese
  • Kraft Dinner (Canada)
  • Kraft Easymac
  • Kraft Mayo
  • Kraft Bagelfuls
  • Kraft Peanut Butter (Canada)
  • Kraft Singles (pasteurized prepared cheese product)
  • Kraft Sandwich Spread
  • Kraker Bran
  • Lacta (Brazil, Greece)
  • Lefèvre-Utile
  • Lucky crackers (Taiwan)
  • Lunchables
  • Lyuks (potato chips) (Ukraine)
  • Maarud (potato chips) (Norway)
  • Marabou (Sweden)
  • Maxwell House (coffee)
  • Maynards Wine Gums (sweets) (United Kingdom)
  • Mellow Bird's Coffee (United Kingdom)
  • Milka (Europe)
  • Miracle Whip (salad dressing spread)
  • Miracoli (Germany)
  • Mostro (Peru)
  • Mikado (United Kingdom)
  • Nabisco
  • Nabob (coffee) (Canada)
  • Natural Confectionery Company ('natural' sweets) (Australia & United Kingdom)
  • Nilla
  • Non-Stop (Scandinavia)
  • Nutter Butter
  • O'boy (Scandinavia, Estonia)
  • O'smile (Taiwan)
  • Onko (coffee)
  • Oreo (cookie)
  • Orchard Crisps
  • ORO Saiwa
  • Oscar Mayer
  • Grated Parmesan cheese
  • Pacific crackers (China)
  • Philadelphia cream cheese
  • Pigrolac
  • Planters
  • Poiana (Romania)
  • Polly-O (cheese)
  • Premium (a Nabisco brand of saltine crackers)
  • Pretzels
  • P'tit Québec
  • Prince Polo
  • Pure Kraft Salad Dressings
  • Ritz
  • Ritz Metro
  • Royal baking powder
  • Saiwa (Italian Division of Nabisco)
  • Seven Seas (salad dressings)
  • Saimaza (Spain)
  • Sanka (decaffeinated coffee)
  • Shake 'n Bake
  • Simmenthal (canned meat)
  • Snackabouts
  • SnackWells
  • South Beach Living
  • Starbucks (grocery store items)
  • Stove Top stuffing
  • Suchard
  • Svoge (Bulgaria)
  • Swiss Crackers
  • Sugar Wafers
  • Taco Bell (grocery store items)
  • Tang
  • Tassimo (single-serve coffee machines using pods branded as T-Discs)
  • Teddy Grahams
  • Terrabusi (Kraft Foods Argentina)
  • Terry's (chocolates)
  • Terry's Chocolate Orange
  • Tiger Energy Biscuits (Southeast Asian countries)
  • Toasted Chips
  • Toblerone (Kraft Foods Switzerland)
  • Tombstone (frozen pizza)
  • Triscuit (snack cracker)
  • Thinsations
  • Trakinas
  • Trebor (sweets) (United Kingdom)
  • Twist
  • Twisties (Malaysia)
  • Uguan (China)
  • Vegemite (Australia)
  • Velveeta
  • Wheat Thins
We'll be on the lookout for these items at the church and church related functions. I would sure hate to kick you out of the picnic because you couldn't adhere to a simple boycott list.

In Christ,
Levi Jones


Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



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Default Re: Oreos come out of the closet as cookies for queers. - 06-26-2012, 11:01 PM

Let's hope these are poisoned and kill a lot of gays. Then at least they would have done something right.

Leviticus 20:13 "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."


Only Sluts Get Raped! (1st Timothy 2:9)
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: Oreos come out of the closet as cookies for queers. - 06-26-2012, 11:30 PM

The vile hatefulness of atheists and homosexuals is demonstrated here:



Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: Oreos come out of the closet as cookies for queers. - 06-27-2012, 12:57 AM

Can you imagine how these cookies would make your feces look?

My stomach turns at the thought of the gays running half naked down the street, with their faces and chests smeared with their own rainbow feces.

LORD HELP US.



The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
- Proverbs 15:3

CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


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Default Re: Oreos come out of the closet as cookies for queers. - 06-27-2012, 03:05 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4God View Post
Can you imagine how these cookies would make your feces look?

My stomach turns at the thought of the gays running half naked down the street, with their faces and chests smeared with their own rainbow feces.

LORD HELP US.
The queers and homers are obsessed with feces. They eat special foods to enhance the effects. They even sing songs about it!



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Oreos come out of the closet as cookies for queers. - 06-27-2012, 06:35 AM

It is times like these when I find the need to ask God for more wisdom. God knew when he first drew a rainbow in the sky with His divine finger (Genesis 9:12-17) that His precious symbol would be misused in this way, and yet he went right on and made it anyway. I wish God hadn't done that. Pray for me, brethren.



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Default Re: Oreos come out of the closet as cookies for queers. - 06-27-2012, 09:08 AM

I have long thought that this so called treats only exist to lure young, firm thighed, young men into gaiety.

Just look at one head on and what does that make you think of?

That's right: an anal spigot! And what is worse I understand that one is supposed to open it up and lick out the creme

As a subliminal teaching method to encourage filching it is beyond compare! And to make things worse this so called subliminal message is buried so deep that most people without a Ph.D is psychology would be unable to detect it.

Such is the depth of depravity of the anal enabling athiestics agenda it's nothing more than a poorly disguised avert for the so called 'coffee creme' parties held in such high regard by the gaywise.

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Default Re: Oreos come out of the closet as cookies for queers. - 06-27-2012, 07:20 PM

''One that hates is also a murderer''

Jesus has taught me many things. Hate does not exist, but love does.

I do not hate these people. I pity them and pray that they find their path.

I also pray that humanity as a whole finds love for each other and themselves.

Amen.

Nikolai the russian.


Revelations 21:6
And He said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. I will give of the fountain of the water of life freely to him who thirsts.
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Default Re: Oreos come out of the closet as cookies for queers. - 06-27-2012, 07:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nikolai the russian View Post
''One that hates is also a murderer''

Jesus has taught me many things. Hate does not exist, but love does.

I do not hate these people. I pity them and pray that they find their path.

I also pray that humanity as a whole finds love for each other and themselves.

Amen.

Nikolai the russian.
That's nice.

But here in the real world where we deal with God as He actually is we acknowledge that certain types of behaviour are an abomination.

I assume you are with us on the whole fornicating with animals thing...

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Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

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Default Re: Oreos come out of the closet as cookies for queers. - 06-27-2012, 08:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nikolai the russian View Post
Jesus has taught me many things. Hate does not exist, but love does.
Could you back this up with Scripture? Thanks!


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Default Re: Oreos come out of the closet as cookies for queers. - 06-27-2012, 08:36 PM

I haven't eaten those things since they replaced the lard with vegetable oil.

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Default Oreo Jail Slang - 06-27-2012, 09:14 PM

I didn't want to mention this sooner, but I'm pretty sure OREO is jail slang for when you get raped by two nigras at the same time.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Oreo Jail Slang - 06-27-2012, 09:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
I didn't want to mention this sooner, but I'm pretty sure OREO is jail slang for when you get raped by two nigras at the same time.
I thought that was called a "spit roast".


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Default Re: Oreo Jail Slang - 06-28-2012, 04:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
I thought that was called a "spit roast".
I thought it was a slang term for when the two big bucks "do the deed" and you are left swaying from the dizziness of the bludgeoning and you get bent over and rimmed before the final beat-down begins.

Pastor Ed



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Default Re: Oreo Jail Slang - 06-28-2012, 05:46 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ed Lowman View Post
I thought it was a slang term for when the two big bucks "do the deed" and you are left swaying from the dizziness of the bludgeoning and you get bent over and rimmed before the final beat-down begins.

Pastor Ed
This is all so confusing.

Does anyone know where we can find a Negro homosexual to explain all this to us?

Where's Alfred King, anyway?


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Default Re: Oreos come out of the closet as cookies for queers. - 06-28-2012, 06:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
The vile hatefulness of atheists and homosexuals is demonstrated here:


Why are those people being so mean and attacking that woman so personally? I think that she is very pretty. Of course, I used to think rainbows were pretty, but now they make me sad and scared. . . .


. . . I need a cookie.





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Default Re: Oreos come out of the closet as cookies for queers. - 06-28-2012, 06:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
Why are those people being so mean and attacking that woman so personally? I think that she is very pretty. Of course, I used to think rainbows were pretty, but now they make me sad and scared. . . .


. . . I need a cookie.





Poutingly Yours,

Handmaiden
As long as it's not an Oreo cookie.


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Default Re: Oreos come out of the closet as cookies for queers. - 06-28-2012, 07:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Levi Jones View Post
In this latest attempt by Satan to turn normal people gay, Oreo (Nabisco division of Kraft Foods) has released a show of solidarity with the queer acceptance movement.




I am calling on all Christians to join with Landover Baptist church as we boycott the fag lifestyle of soul damning, nation-destroying filth company Kraft.

Ephesians 5:11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.

Here is a list of all the foods that Kraft puts out that I don't want to see in any Christian household.



We'll be on the lookout for these items at the church and church related functions. I would sure hate to kick you out of the picnic because you couldn't adhere to a simple boycott list.

In Christ,
Levi Jones
Fortunately, these cookies can't actually be created. However, this really does show Nabisco's true colors. (no pun intended)


Ezekiel 36:26- A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.
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Default Re: Oreos come out of the closet as cookies for queers. - 07-29-2012, 06:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
The vile hatefulness of atheists and homosexuals is demonstrated here:

The Bible says that being fat is an abomination,
Corinthians 3:16-17 ESV / 7
'Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple.'
This woman is living in sin by being overweight, and for you to say these people are full of 'vile hatefulness' is quite ironic considering how all of you are showing extreme hatred towards atheists and homosexuals.
James 4:11-12
'Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?'
Stop hating others and get on with your own lives.
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Default Re: Oreos come out of the closet as cookies for queers. - 07-29-2012, 06:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lorna1234 View Post
tl;dr
Why not introduce yourself properly so we can greet you!

We have a special forum just for that, called, conveniently enough "The Introduction Forum."



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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