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Default Re: Evaluating the 2024 Candidates: An Ongoing Thread - 11-20-2020, 02:26 PM

Adolf Hitler



Pros: Could be a real winner for the 2024 Republican ticket! Contrary to popular belief, this Australian painter and former German President is very much alive. Killed thousends of Jews, the very people who murdered our beloved Jesus. Fought bravely against leftist regimes all over the world, and bombed England (had it coming, remember 1812). Keep in mind that 1 Peter 2:13-17 doesn't apply when you are the law, it's not murder when Jews and other people are lawfully executed. Turning abortion into a capital crime in 1943, he is certainly pro-life.

Cons: A Catholic, vegetarian and foreigner. Being 131 years old, he may not be in the best shape for presidency. Being Australian, it would require a change in constitution for eligibility to run for President, though I am sure this could somehow be done with fellow Catholic and conservative Amy Coney Barrett having a seat in SCOTUS.
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Default Re: Evaluating the 2024 Candidates: An Ongoing Thread - 11-20-2020, 02:49 PM

Rudy Giuliani



Pro: Former Mayor of New York City. Current Mayor of . Courageously led our nation to restoration following 9/11. Confidant and chief legal expert to the beloved President Donald J. Trump. A lawyer's lawyer.

Con: Has been known to misplace key pieces of evidence, resulting in time wasted by looking for it in strange places.



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flag Re: Evaluating the 2024 Candidates: An Ongoing Thread - 11-21-2020, 01:42 AM


Ivan Boesky
Pros: Stock market genius, the next-best thing for our economy after Gordon Gekko, who is not real but was based on Boesky.
Cons: Dabbled in Judaism. Has lived in private seclusion since the '90s, so he may be hard to recruit.



Jim Bob Duggar
Pros: The ultimate family man, Quiverfull, Southerner, creationist, political experience, reality show star like Donald, Godly smile.
Cons: That whole "covering up his daughters getting molested by his son" thing that you just KNOW the liberal media wouldn't shut up about for a second.



Lt. Col. Bo Gritz (Ret.)
Pros: We haven't had a good war in a while, or a mustachioed president in even longer. The militia movement in the 90s he did so much to influence may have fizzled out at the time, but it's back with a vengeance today!
Cons: Was temporarily a MORMON!




Kenneth Copeland
Pros: Let's be real, this country doesn't deserve Pastor Ezekiel as its leader. He's the most perfect man since Christ Himself walked the earth, and it would profane him to have to deal with heathens and sinners like Nancy Pelosi and the liberal media. But as far as righteous pastors go, Copeland is a decent runner-up. Capable of healing coronavirus via television.
Cons: Not Pastor Ezekiel.



Steve Bannon
Pros: He may not have been ready before, but just look at his picture! This is clearly a man who just spent a considerable time wandering around in the desert communing with the Holy Ghost. His wilderness period is over just in time for his triumphant return to the White House. After he left it, the Alt-Right's presence in the Trump administration largely faded away. With Bannon as President, we'll finally get the leadership we THOUGHT we were getting with a certain adulterous, non-denominational Christian reality show star and failed businessman, not to name names of course.
Cons: I imagine White House staffers would complain about the odor.


"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
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Jesus Re: Evaluating the 2024 Candidates: An Ongoing Thread - 11-21-2020, 02:18 AM

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Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post


Jim Bob Duggar
Pros: The ultimate family man, Quiverfull, Southerner, creationist, political experience, reality show star like Donald, Godly smile.
Cons: That whole "covering up his daughters getting molested by his son" thing that you just KNOW the liberal media wouldn't shut up about for a second.
Amen, dear Brother Lukes! Why, this is such a wonderful list of remarkable men that you've included. I especially like the one of Mr. Duggar. He and his good wife have been following the leading of the so admirably.

Psalm 127:3-5:
3 Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.
5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

Now, with that lovely family of followers of the in mind, I think it only fitting that we include another fine, upstanding Duggar:

Josh Duggar


Pro: Raised in a -fearing home, by decent, -fearing parents. Takes the Gospel of the everywhere he goes. Has the endorsement of many fine preachers, including Mike Huckabee. Preaches family values and patriotism in ' favorite nation: the .

Con: Has been known to become distracted during some family-related events, such as when babysitting his sisters, but this should not be a concern for when he becomes President.


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Default Re: Evaluating the 2024 Candidates: An Ongoing Thread - 12-06-2020, 06:46 PM

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Originally Posted by Isabella White View Post
Alex Jones

Pro: Dear Alex is deeply committed to the cause of liberty, freedom, pursuit of the dream -- a man of patriotic passion. He's not afraid to tell the truth, regardless of what the critics say! A real manly man!
Con: None that I can think of, frankly.

RUSH LIMBAUGH

Pro: The Anchorman of , and the Doctor of Democracy. This man is not afraid to bring the truth to light! He is the John Wayne of political persuasian and that is why he is admired so greatly by our beloved President Trump.
Con: He has a bit of an illness at the moment, but cares for servants when they are in the valley!
omg alex jones is so freaking hot- god, i feel like the chemicals in the water are not only turning the frogs gay, but me straight. say it with me girls! daddy.
-kaylee
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Default Re: Evaluating the 2024 Candidates: An Ongoing Thread - 12-06-2020, 06:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by emochildofgod View Post
omg alex jones is so freaking hot- god, i feel like the chemicals in the water are not only turning the frogs gay, but me straight. say it with me girls! daddy.
-kaylee
That is excellent news, sweetie! Now keep watching Alex Jones, so that you can stop living in sin and become a wife and a mother like Jesus wants you to.
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Default Re: Evaluating the 2024 Candidates: An Ongoing Thread - 12-07-2020, 06:28 PM

Emoblahblah's tangent moved here.
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Default Re: Evaluating the 2024 Candidates: An Ongoing Thread - 12-08-2020, 12:19 AM

Allen West
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Pro: One of the most hardcore conservatives in the GOP, ruthlessly denouncing communism wherever it rears its ugly head. As a black president, could issue an executive order making the N-word acceptable for all to say.
Con: The sad truth is that many Americans will not vote for a black man after the eight-year nightmare that was the Obama presidency. Also, his hair looks unnervingly similar to an eraser.


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