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Default What is Freehold, Iowa like? thread - 05-06-2008, 03:35 PM

Many of out visitors ask what is Freehold, Iowa like. I would like to share our impressions of Jesus favorite Hearland American city here. Let all of us who are lucky enough to live in Freehold give witness to why it is the best Christian community.

For me Freehold is where those with true American (as in United States of America) virtues (and blood) live. To be live in Freehold is to possess innate goodness found nowhere else on Earth. The actions of such folk are beyond critique. These are, farmers on family farms, who cannot tell a lie, working from sun-up to sundown, where there are no gay people, no liberals, no minorities, no greedy unions demanding handouts from their employers, no Jews with their effeminate intellectual sophistry and snarky satire, or Muslims with their swarthy strangeness and hatred of our freedoms, or agnostics or atheists with their inability to tell right from wrong, where they mock the idea of government-funded education and health care, and no one ever questions authority.

You see, for me Freehold is as close as we can get to paradise on earth.

God Bless,
BJ Tabor.



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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 05-06-2008, 03:39 PM

Freehold, Iowa is a wonderful place. Imagine a place full of quality, worthwhile people. There are no scungy, homeless people walking down the street, because Jesus provides for us all. Everywhere you look there are reminders of Him. It's absolutely wonderful. The only downside is, when the rapture takes place, some people won't notice the difference.
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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 05-06-2008, 06:13 PM

Yes, Freehold is a little slice of Heaven on earth. A place where a lady can wander in her gardens without fear that some crazed person will try to lay unclean hands on her; a place where the food is plentiful, the water and air are pure, and the words of our Lord are almost audible in the song of the birds as they wing their way between the beautiful, blossoming trees. A place where there are the fewest DEMONS per capita than anywhere else on earth.

If home is where the heart is, then Freehold is my home in the truest sense of the word. GLORY!


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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 05-08-2008, 05:19 PM

Freehold is the absolute most beautiful city in Iowa, if not the entire upper central Midwest. Freehold's official motto is: "City of the Future." I don't much care for that deliberately non-secular official motto, but it is a very pleasant, friendly town. You might hear people from neighboring towns like Storm Lake and Ogdenville disparage Freehold as "Strip Mall Hell," or "Wacko Town," or "Churchyville," or "Freakhold," or "Fundiehold," or "Fakehold," but I chalk that up to stupidity, jealousy, or The Athiestic Agenda of Death.
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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 05-08-2008, 05:30 PM

One must praise the competency and efficiency of the town's municipal works dept. Detailed pothole reports can be made via google maps and a cellphone. They are usually fixed within 48 hours.

I also appreciate the abundance of parking despite the lack of parking meters or restrictions.

NHO (neighborhood only parking) stickers make keeping our streets clean so much easier now. If there is a strange car without a sticker outside of my house, all I need to do is make one call and the car is towed away.


Praise, Freehold!


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 05-09-2008, 04:31 AM

Wow, Where do I start?

I'll start tomorrow. Today, I'll say this:



It's a good place to raise a boy.






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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 05-09-2008, 05:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Otto Bond Sr. View Post
Freehold, Iowa is a wonderful place. Imagine a place full of quality, worthwhile people. There are no scungy, homeless people walking down the street, because Jesus provides for us all. Everywhere you look there are reminders of Him. It's absolutely wonderful. The only downside is, when the rapture takes place, some people won't notice the difference.
Have you ever been here, Judas?

I think you have stolen Dr. Bond's identity. He had metastatic pancreatic cancer some time ago, and hadn't been heard from nor seen for months. Suddenly you appear online, claiming to be him, but also claiming to have been at church services where nobody has seen you.



Something's mighty fishy here.


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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 05-10-2008, 11:49 PM

Freehold is like the Garden of Eden, but with electric lights and indoor plumbing, and a crack security team to keep the unsaved from entering instead of an archangel with a flaming sword. A quick glance at a map of the LBC campus will show you that whatever you might need to lead a life of Christian joy and service to the Lord can be found in Freehold.

I've lived in many places in my life, and seen even more. None is even remotely like Freehold, IMHO.



Pour out thy fury upon the heathen that know thee not, and upon the families that call not on thy name.... Jeremiah 10:25
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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 05-11-2008, 12:22 AM

One of the things I like about Freehold are the little people who service the daily needs of your average True Christian™. Joe and Gladys Pitt run my favorite "mom and pop shoppe" in the center of town. A nicer couple you couldn't hope to meet.



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 05-11-2008, 12:48 AM

I love Freehold it's the best place ever. I wish that all of America could live up to the glory that is Freehold. If only all of America were True Christians, the world would be such a better place.
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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 05-11-2008, 12:56 AM

I shop here frequently Pastor Zeke. They do not worry about all that silly Federal paperwork. GLORY!




Leviticus 26:27-29

27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 05-11-2008, 12:59 AM

Hey Pastor, I was wondering why kind of Guns that shop carries. Is it pretty much just small arms, or rifles also? If they carry anything heavier than a .338, that would be pretty cool.
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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 05-11-2008, 01:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SayvedByTheLord View Post
I shop here frequently Pastor Zeke. They do not worry about all that silly Federal paperwork. GLORY!
Yes, indeed! This is one of the conveniences that Mr. Thyme in particular very much appreciates, especially for his bulk purchases.


Mark 16:17 And these attesting signs will accompany those who believe: in My Name they will drive out demons.

1 Kings 21:14 Then they sent to Jezebel, saying, Naboth is stoned . . .

A SPIRITUAL WARFARE PRAYER:
Father, In Jesus' Name, I take the Blood of Jesus and break the power of all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, sorcerers, wiccans, pagans, and any other source, and all of their rituals off of us. With the Blood of Jesus, I erase all evil lines drawn on our liver. . .

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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 05-16-2008, 12:08 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dodger556 View Post
Hey Pastor, I was wondering why kind of Guns that shop carries. Is it pretty much just small arms, or rifles also? If they carry anything heavier than a .338, that would be pretty cool.
They have an amazing selection of weapons for the True Christian Warrior®, and can order in just about any firearm known to man. Here's some video from the Great Winter Witch Roundup we held in January. Just as we spotted our first coven, Brother Joe showed up with a truckload of Vietnam-era M72 rocket launchers:


I'm not sure how we're going to top that for the summer witch hunt, but there have been rumors that the Pitts have an inside track on a surplus Black Hawk assault helicopter.



Pour out thy fury upon the heathen that know thee not, and upon the families that call not on thy name.... Jeremiah 10:25
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Mr. Seth Cochran is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Mr. Seth Cochran is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 10-22-2008, 04:54 PM

I'd like to revive this thread with one request. Please provide plenty of pictures (if security allows).
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Ahimaaz Smith's Avatar
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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 10-23-2008, 01:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Repentant Fool View Post
I'd like to revive this thread with one request. Please provide plenty of pictures (if security allows).
Happy to oblige. Here's the baptismal fountain outside the Ronald Reagan Convention Hall and Chastisement Center:



Off to the right, you can barely make out the construction site of the All Purpose Multi Temple. Is there anything in particular that you'd like to see?



Pour out thy fury upon the heathen that know thee not, and upon the families that call not on thy name.... Jeremiah 10:25
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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 10-23-2008, 01:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ahimaaz Smith View Post
Is there anything in particular that you'd like to see?
Actually, I'm looking for homes (Gold Tithing Level and above), popular social gathering places (other than church) and gun/ammunition shops. I'm considering moving to Freehold (after my security clearance upgrade) and I'd like to know the best places to socialize and shop, by sight if possible. Thanks.
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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 10-23-2008, 10:16 AM

This is a picture of the servants quarters, I am reluctant to put up a photo of my mansion for security reasons.

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Leviticus 26:27-29

27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 10-23-2008, 04:57 PM

Here is a picture of Pastor Deacon Fred's new house. It was designed after the home of a famous sickular actor who I will not mention. The little jet is one of the Landover AirJesus planes, the big jet Pastor just got and it is waiting to be refitted and painted.




Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!



Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!

Last edited by Capt. Aaron Portway; 11-13-2008 at 02:41 AM.
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Posts: 3,146
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SayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSayvedByTheLord has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 10-23-2008, 06:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. A. Portway View Post
It was designed after the home of a famous sickular actor who I will not mention.
I would hope not Brother Aaron, Pastor Deacon Fred would be very upset if he knew.




Leviticus 26:27-29

27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
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