The Freehold Truth and Light Baptist newspaper Featured editorials, letters to the GODLY Pastors of Landover, local news, advise columns. |
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Founder, Operation Rescue, Now in Heaven with Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 912
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: In Heaven with Jesus
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Re: 2008 CAR ISSUE! Submit your praises here! -
06-20-2008, 03:59 PM
I keep hearing all this bullsh*t from environmental wackos that we shouldn't drive SUVs cause they use too much gas. I say that's nothing but horse manure. I had the answer to this "gas crisis" long ago. We just make nuclear-powered SUVs. And motorhomes too. Then we take all the nuclear waste and drop it on them Arabs. Kind of like killing two birds with one stone.
I really think that President Bush should hire me as a technical advisor. I got lots of good ideas.
YIC,
Buford
yours in Christ,
Brother Buford
The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.
- Rush Limbaugh
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: 2008 CAR ISSUE! Submit your praises here! -
06-20-2008, 04:15 PM
Or you can breed mosquitos in them (for your pet frog).
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Anti La Leche League Organizer
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,807
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: VT--the Green Mountain State
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Re: 2008 CAR ISSUE! Submit your praises here! -
06-22-2008, 03:18 PM
OMG--a new hot rod from the Orient! Anybody familiar with the term "hoon"? This is a perfect hoon-mobile for the chosen!
It comes with an eight-speed torque converted automatic tranny, 300 watt stereo and driver's side Shiatsu. Two reverse gears enable it to self park in 27.3 seconds.
http://editorial.autos.msn.com/artic...umentid=502256
The IS F can run lap after lap around a track and not break a sweat, but it immediately reveals softer responses (including steering feel) than you would expect from the hard-edge sport sedan it is touted to be. Cornering is quite stable and balanced, although the car can both quickly rotate and the rear axle step out if you brake hard or late enough into a corner. This might explain why we were not allowed to switch the stability system completely off during our track stint.
In fact, the IS F felt happiest and most capable in the point-and-shoot world of city driving, where it can — and will — take full advantage of the slightest gaps in traffic while letting you enjoy the full benefits of a cushy Lexus cabin.
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Founder, Operation Rescue, Now in Heaven with Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 912
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: In Heaven with Jesus
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Re: 2008 CAR ISSUE! Submit your praises here! -
06-22-2008, 11:33 PM
It's just occurred to me that in this thread, we've racially insensitive and have neglected the needs of ethnic minorities.
So, in the interests of racial harmony, here's a classic favorite for the darkies (note the whitewalls):
The trunk isn't very spacious, but is big enough for carrying crack cocaine and watermelons.
Hopefully, this post will assuage the hurt feelings of the jungle bunnies who accidentally wander into this web site.
YIC,
Buford
yours in Christ,
Brother Buford
The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.
- Rush Limbaugh
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Righteous and Patriotic Highest body count at the VFW
True Christian™
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Posts: 3,319
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Wiseman Compound and Bible Complex
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Re: 2008 CAR ISSUE! Submit your praises here! -
06-23-2008, 12:07 AM
Well friends I am engaged in negotiations for my first Daytona! A beautiful red one at that needing minimal cleaning and dusting to appear new outside, inside and underneath. I am mighty thankful to Jesus Christ for granting me this car as a reward for spreading His Good News across the Godless Interweb like a good True Christian™ is supposed to.
Granted it's not a Hemi like Christ would have owned, but she's a still rare six pack car so I won't be complaining.
God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: 2008 CAR ISSUE! Submit your praises here! -
07-02-2008, 12:52 PM
If SUV's weren't God's favored ride, why would the liberal MSM be so motivated to attack them at every opportunity?
From The Washington False Christian Post:
Quote:
SUV Drivers Burned Twice: At the Pump, on the Car Lot
Some Unload Vehicles for Less Than They Owe
Americans' love affair with 22-inch rims, eight cylinders and four-wheel drive wrapped in an 8,000-pound package is over. And the breakup is going to cost.
With $4-a-gallon gas coming between drivers and their very large vehicles, consumers are dropping their once-beloved rides, fast. But not fast enough, it seems. As the price of gas has gone up, the value of sport-utility vehicles has gone down.
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For those determined to swap their fuel-thirsty behemoths for gas-sipping subcompacts, the glut increasingly means taking a financial hit. In the worst cases, declining SUV values leave owners owing more money to the bank than their vehicle is worth.
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This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: 2008 CAR ISSUE! Submit your praises here! -
07-02-2008, 03:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Isaac Peters
If SUV's weren't God's favored ride, why would the liberal MSM be so motivated to attack them at every opportunity?
From The Washington False Christian Post:
SUV Drivers Burned Twice: At the Pump, on the Car Lot
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And then a third time by Washington Post readers. Acting on direct orders from Baraq Hussein Osambo, no doubt.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Founder, Operation Rescue, Now in Heaven with Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 912
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: In Heaven with Jesus
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Re: 2008 CAR ISSUE! Submit your praises here! -
07-02-2008, 04:06 PM
Here in Texas, back in the frontier days you could get hanged if you stole a man's horse. The idea was that a horse was vital to your survival.
Nowadays, SUVs have replaced horses. So any eco-terrorist who would burn a blessed SUV or pickup truck also oughta be hanged.
I've been seeing some of those eco-terrorists riding around on sissy gay electric scooters. I think it's time for some payback.
yours in Christ,
Brother Buford
The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.
- Rush Limbaugh
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 141
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: In a Home for the Terminally Bewildered overlooking France from the coast of Kent, England
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Re: 2008 CAR ISSUE! Submit your praises here! -
07-03-2008, 12:48 PM
I rather like my Meerceedes Benz, only car I know that is in the Title along with the Lord's name!!
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: 2008 CAR ISSUE! Submit your praises here! -
07-03-2008, 12:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by papparat
I rather like my Meerceedes Benz, only car I know that is in the Title along with the Lord's name!!
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I don't understand a word of that, except that you demonstrate your hatred of America by buying eurotrash cars.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Anti La Leche League Organizer
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,807
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: VT--the Green Mountain State
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Re: 2008 CAR ISSUE! Submit your praises here! -
07-03-2008, 12:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by papparat
I rather like my Meerceedes Benz, only car I know that is in the Title along with the Lord's name!!
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Have you no loyalty to the Empire? Why aren't you driving a Tata?
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 141
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: In a Home for the Terminally Bewildered overlooking France from the coast of Kent, England
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Re: 2008 CAR ISSUE! Submit your praises here! -
07-03-2008, 03:57 PM
When I bought it was part of the CHRYSSLLEEEER Group! Closest thing you can get to having Christ on a car, also The song " Oh Lord won't you get me a Merceedees Benz inspired me"
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 141
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: In a Home for the Terminally Bewildered overlooking France from the coast of Kent, England
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Re: 2008 CAR ISSUE! Submit your praises here! -
07-03-2008, 04:03 PM
Should add I further blessed it with a colonial, er I mean, American sound system, a BOSE.
Car was Guaranteed made by people of pure Aryan stock when I collected it from the Factory in that Conquered Nation of Germany, then drove it home to the Motherland
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Re: 2008 CAR ISSUE! Submit your praises here! -
08-29-2008, 01:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buford T Scoggins
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Well done. I've even had my hood painted so that they still have an opportunity to repent, in the last split-seconds of their lives:
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Re: 2008 CAR ISSUE! Submit your praises here! -
10-07-2008, 10:41 PM
EDIT TO ADD: I love cars that look angry. Cars that look like Hannibal-Lector style psycho killers all chained up and masked. Cars that say "I'm ready to rub a rusty cheesegrater across a newborn's face while crushing a kitten's skull with my teeth".
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Re: 2008 CAR ISSUE! Submit your praises here! -
06-26-2009, 06:01 PM
The 2009 car issue is coming soon. On the cover will be Pastor Deacon Fred's new gold Porsche:
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!
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