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Reload this Page ASK JESUS - 2018
THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS! Open for the CHRISTmas Season only.

 
 
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Default Re: ASK JESUS - 2018 - 12-25-2018, 03:10 AM



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Default Re: ASK JESUS - 2018 - 12-25-2018, 04:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
What do you want a wasp that doesn't bother you or cockroaches that do?
Is this a complex question? Cock doesn't bother Me. But they were a nuisance to Peter. One of My better tricks, that one!


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Default Re: ASK JESUS - 2018 - 12-25-2018, 04:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole View Post
I can only wonder, perhaps it's time for you to return to this Earth?
Yes, you can.
Quote:
P.S. If it's in your power, I've always wanted 10". Could you arrange that for me?
It is. I could. How many degrees (°) and minutes (') do you need to supplement your 10 seconds ('')?


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flag Re: ASK JESUS - 2018 - 12-25-2018, 04:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
Dear Lord,

I'm so sick of hearing the libs thinking they're going to vote out The Donald in 2020. Will you please declare him King of America, to shut them up?

Yours in You,
Dennis Lukes
Isn't Elvis supposed to be that?



Don't worry. They'll shut up in Hell whilst the Devils pour liquid chromium down their gullets.



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Default Re: ASK JESUS - 2018 - 12-25-2018, 04:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DolliMoans View Post
I believe you in YOU, but can I believe its not butter?
Me H. Me woman! Stop binging on the moonshine, lie back and think of 'Murica!


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Default Re: ASK JESUS - 2018 - 12-25-2018, 04:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dana723 View Post
You're alive! That's wonderful - we were so worried! Did you lose some more family members?
Is this a chatterbox platform for you?

No I did not. Of course I am alive! Did you during one of your nanosecond silences open a Bible even once ? I wrote it and it's about My resurrection and being Alive! Dad! Me!


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burger Re: ASK JESUS - 2018 - 12-25-2018, 04:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim C. Lombardo View Post
Here are my questions -

How's your Daddy?
Busy wiping tears. We'll meet later today for a quick snack.
Quote:
When are you returning in the flesh?
On a Wednesday. I told y'all this last year.
Quote:
What are the five chief contraindications associated with adverse affects of sildenafil and/or N-desmethylsildenafil? Please and thank you, Jesus.
Eye-talian descent, musical profession, long hair, inability to sing a cappella without a microphone and a wish to spend an Eternity with Me.


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Sinner Re: ASK JESUS - 2018 - 12-25-2018, 04:30 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DolliMoans View Post
No dear. I recently came under fire from the MeToo$ movement from my own estranged daughter Adelaide. I had to go into long-term hiding. It's all lies of course.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dana723 View Post
That sounds like quite an ordeal!
Are these supposed to be questions? This thread is about ME!!
You oughtta know that once in the place below your empty gossip will remain unheard!



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Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the LifeJesus is the Way, the Truth, and the LifeJesus is the Way, the Truth, and the LifeJesus is the Way, the Truth, and the LifeJesus is the Way, the Truth, and the LifeJesus is the Way, the Truth, and the LifeJesus is the Way, the Truth, and the LifeJesus is the Way, the Truth, and the LifeJesus is the Way, the Truth, and the LifeJesus is the Way, the Truth, and the LifeJesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life
Default Re: ASK JESUS - 2018 - 12-25-2018, 04:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
What did this young woman accuse her loving mother of doing to her, exactly? Could you provide us with some details (perhaps with suitably descriptive adjectives thrown in, however unpleasant they may be) so that we may know exactly how to pray for your deliverance?


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Unsaved trash, fails at universal grammar
Became world champion of laziness without even trying
 

Commmmmunnissss Full of it Strawman Cathlick Ad hominem

 
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PeterCrackhead is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.PeterCrackhead is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.PeterCrackhead is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.PeterCrackhead is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.PeterCrackhead is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Talking Re: ASK JESUS - 2018 - 11-22-2019, 10:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
OK, y'all. Because of my intimate communication with Jesus Christ I can now say that Jesus will once again appear on this very forum on His Birthday, Christmas Day. So you may ask Him anything and He'll answer a few of your most burning questions. Incidentally our tithing treasury is also burning for YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS! Don't forget your Advent tithe and Christmas Eve tithe and Christmas Day tithe and the Boxing day tithe! Covfefe! The better you tithe the more Jesus will have time to answer your questions.

I'll start: What's you favorite Christmas dish? Do you agree with Donald about your choices?
https://www.aol.com/article/news/201.../?guccounter=1

OK, y'all may post your questions now!
Won’t Pat Robertson get jealous because isn’t he the Jesus conduit on Earth every New Year’s Eve?
 

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