[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

I like to think that I've tasted every meat there is. Yes, I have filled my mouth with every exotic meat that can be found. All except one.

I am talking, of course, about unicorn.

Don't give me any nonsense about unicorn being hard to come by, they are easy to find in the Bible (see footnote) and everybody knows Wal-Mart has EVERYTHING. Less chatting, more searching, ladies.

And no excuses about not knowing how to cook it, the recipe is on the internet:

Like all proper recipes, it's BBQ:


The best part is the head, so it goes to the man of the house:


And like anything worthwhile it's wasteful enough to give environmentalists a case of the hissy-fits:




Footnote:

Originally Posted by The LORD almighty

Isaiah 34:7 And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness.

Psalm 92:10 But my horn shalt thou exalt like the horn of an unicorn: I shall be anointed with fresh oil.

Psalm 29:6 He maketh them also to skip like a calf; Lebanon and Sirion like a young unicorn.

Numbers 23:22 God brought them out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn.

Numbers 24:8 God brought him forth out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn: he shall eat up the nations his enemies, and shall break their bones, and pierce them through with his arrows.

Deuteronomy 33:17 His glory is like the firstling of his bullock, and his horns are like the horns of unicorns: with them he shall push the people together to the ends of the earth: and they are the ten thousands of Ephraim, and they are the thousands of Manasseh.

Psalm 22:21 Save me from the lion's mouth: for thou hast heard me from the horns of the unicorns.

Job 39:9-10 Will the unicorn be willing to serve thee, or abide by thy crib? Canst thou bind the unicorn with his band in the furrow? or will he harrow the valleys after thee?