[Martin J. Godeberht]

Chapter 13

Jesus Washes His Disciples’ Feet
13:1 Now before the feast of the passover, when Jesus knew that his hour was come that he should depart out of this world unto the Father, having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end.

Jesus loves His own. That does not include those who are NOT His own. There are people who do not belong to Jesus (John 10:26-27).

4 He riseth from supper, and laid aside his garments; and took a towel, and girded himself.
5 After that he poureth water into a bason, and began to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded.

Jesus gets undressed, girds Himself in a towel, and starts washing feet. Then He uses the towel to dry those feet. We don't know if He had a really long towel, or He took off the towel at this time, or whether or not He was wearing some kind of customary Israeli goatskin underoos. The bible doesn't say. We do know to "gird" is to tuck the thing in for easy movement, so it's not like He just wrapped the towel around His Holy waist as if He's coming out of the shower like the Old Spice Guy. Girded with a towel, then used that girded towel to dry feet. That's all the bible says. Perhaps we're supposed to use our own imagination here.

6 Then cometh he to Simon Peter: and Peter saith unto him, Lord, dost thou wash my feet?
7 Jesus answered and said unto him, What I do thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter.

Jesus avoids giving a straight answer.

10 Jesus saith to him, He that is washed needeth not save to wash his feet, but is clean every whit: and ye are clean, but not all.

Jesus makes a jab at Judas because He knows Judas is going to betray Him. Judas knows this too (John tells us this back in verse 2), so this must have been frustrating because you can't really snap back at Jesus. The bible doesn't say if Judas is drinking a lot now, but we know Judas is sitting there like a schmuck while Jesus makes passive-aggressive jabs in front of the whole crew. Judas thinks Jesus will get His comeuppance so he bides his time. He's probably seething.

12 So after he had washed their feet, and had taken his garments, and was set down again, he said unto them, Know ye what I have done to you?

Jesus gets dressed again and sits back down at the table like nothing weird happened and now it's time for coffee and cake and a little after dinner discussion.

13 Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am.
14 If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another's feet.

About washing the feet of those serve you. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize this is clearly metaphorical and not a salvation issue, as it's totally unnecessary to wash people's feet in a world where everyone has shoes, and socks, and doing so naked would only get a restraining order against you, if not officially placed on the Public Sex Offender Registry. I think the only reason the bible doesn't say "Wash one anther's feet metaphorically because in a few thousand years Christians will have colonized and settled in foreign lands with totally different eco-systems that aren't plagued with maggots, aggressive worms, and blinding dust storms, or overrun with goat dung in the streets, lands where paved roads and indoor plumbing will be a thing" is because it's obvious to us today. It also doesn't say anything about avoiding heroin addiction, but we can use the brains God gave us to figure out this too doesn't need to be said. But if you want to wash your servant's feet, knock yourself out. Just get permission first.

Jesus Predicts The Future
18 I speak not of you all: I know whom I have chosen: but that the scripture may be fulfilled, He that eateth bread with me hath lifted up his heel against me.

More passive-aggressive commentary, showing Judas that Jesus, aka Lord and Master, aka God, did not choose him. Judas is biting his tongue and digging his fingernails into his palms by now, I'm sure.

This should be a red flag for those who think Jesus loves everyone. Clearly He's decided already who makes the cut and who doesn't. I guess He could still love those He's chosen to suffer for all eternity in Hell, but then what good is that kind of love? Who cares at that point, right?

19 Now I tell you before it come, that, when it is come to pass, ye may believe that I am he.

I imagine the disciples are sitting there with incredulous looks on their faces, because Jesus keeps telling them that it'll all make sense later.

20 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that receiveth whomsoever I send receiveth me; and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me.

Protip: accept anyone who is on a Mission from God.

21 When Jesus had thus said, he was troubled in spirit, and testified, and said, Verily, verily, I say unto you, that one of you shall betray me.
25 He then lying on Jesus' breast saith unto him, Lord, who is it?

Jesus gives them spoilers: Someone is going to betray Him. The disciples are confused and get the teacher's pet to ask who it is.

26 Jesus answered, He it is, to whom I shall give a sop, when I have dipped it. And when he had dipped the sop, he gave it to Judas Iscariot, the son of Simon.

Jesus, who hates to give a straight answer, gives the world's most simple clue. "It's the guy I give this bread to." And then hands the bread to Judas . Here Judas thought his little scheme was a secret, and Jesus just blows it right out into the open. I imagine at this point Judas slowly drowns his goblet of wine, pushes back from the table, and stares daggers at Jesus. The disciples have no idea what's going on because they think Jesus is referring to some necessary, late night purchase for the gang (John 13:29). Still, they'd have to be idiots to miss the tension thick enough to cut with a knife.

27 And after the sop Satan entered into him. Then said Jesus unto him, That thou doest, do quickly.

Satan entered into Judas. Earlier, back in verse 2, Judas had already been convinced by the devil to betray Jesus. Now the devil enters into Judas. We don't know if this looked anything like Linda Blair in the Exorcist, but probably not. The bible doesn't say what the functional difference is between being convinced by the devil and being entered by him, but in either case, Judas is officially toast. Jesus dares Judas to go and do what he's going to do.

30 He then having received the sop went immediately out: and it was night.

Judas took the dare.

Jesus Calls Peter's Bluff
31 Therefore, when he was gone out, Jesus said, Now is the Son of man glorified, and God is glorified in him.
32 If God be glorified in him, God shall also glorify him in himself, and shall straightway glorify him.

We don't know the disciples' reaction to finding out one of their insiders just admitted to being a traitor. Jesus really wants to drive this point home about glory going around, probably because the disciples are distracted by this unexpected turn of events to listen properly at this point.

34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

People like to think the idea that Jesus tells His disciples to love everyone because He loves everyone. A careful reading of Scripture, heck, a rudimentary reading of this gospel alone will show this isn't the case at all. Remember back a couple chapters when Jesus talks about His sheep. Not all sheep are His sheep. Not everyone who knows about Jesus, believes in Jesus, or even loves Jesus is going to find themselves in the winners' circle at the end of the race. So when Jesus commands His disciples to love one another, He's talking about loving the other winners, not the losers (more here: Bible Answers: Who are our neighbors? Who are our brothers and sisters? Who are we to love?). Remember the "you" in the phrase, "as I have loved you" isn't universal. He's talking directly and solely to His personal sheep now. Everyone else is a goat to Jesus, a stinky animal to be rounded up and discarded at the End of Days (Matthew 25:31-46). You don't have to love them. No one love a goat but crunchy, liberal, organic, small farmers in Oregon.

36 Simon Peter said unto him, Lord, whither goest thou? Jesus answered him, Whither I go, thou canst not follow me now; but thou shalt follow me afterwards.
37 Peter said unto him, Lord, why cannot I follow thee now? I will lay down my life for thy sake.
38 Jesus answered him, Wilt thou lay down thy life for my sake? Verily, verily, I say unto thee, The cock shall not crow, till thou hast denied me thrice.

Peter wants to know where Jesus is going. The bible doesn't tell us Jesus got up, or collected His things, or went for the door. Jesus again refuses to give a straight answer, so Peter pushes. Jesus then looks into the future (because He created it, so He knows what's going to happen), and tells Peter that his promises are pretty much full of crap. That puts Peter in his place and he doesn't badger Jesus any more about answering him straight up. Ever.


Chapter 14

Jesus Comforts His Disciples
14:1 Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me.
2 In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.
3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.
4 And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know.

Jesus is talking about Heaven here. He's explaining that He's got to go and get the final touches done in Heaven before the disciples start dying. He wants everything perfect for His earthly best friends. Why a God who can create the entire earth, the heavens, the firmament, and everything inside in six days needs to go off by Himself to put the finishing touches on for the sake of some goat herders' aesthetics, the bible doesn't say. That means it's not important.

Even Though Jesus Is the Father (John 10:30), He is Also the Way to the Father
5 Thomas saith unto him, Lord, we know not whither thou goest; and how can we know the way?

Thomas is so literal. He doesn't yet know that "the way" requires death, and being the emo disciple (John 11:16), Jesus knows this is going to blow his mind.

7 If ye had known me, ye should have known my Father also: and from henceforth ye know him, and have seen him.

Jesus doesn't want Thomas to jump the gun here, so He offers another non-answer to keep Thomas and the others busy figuring it out until Thomas gets distracted, and grabs something on the table to fiddle with. Jesus repeats for the sake of those who weren't paying attention earlier that He is God. He says it in a roundabout way, but He keeps repeating it and the disciples will eventually catch on.

8 Philip saith unto him, Lord, show us the Father, and it sufficeth us.

Phillip probably didn't hear Jesus talking about this earlier (John 10:38). Whether he wasn't there or was there but wasn't paying attention, the bible doesn't say.

9 Jesus saith unto him, Have I been so long time with you, and yet hast thou not known me, Philip? he that hath seen me hath seen the Father; and how sayest thou then, Show us the Father?
10 Believest thou not that I am in the Father, and the Father in me? the words that I speak unto you I speak not of myself: but the Father that dwelleth in me, he doeth the works.
11 Believe me that I am in the Father, and the Father in me: or else believe me for the very works' sake.

Jesus breaks it down this way: If you've seen Him and what He did, then you've seen God. Jesus tells his disciples that they can trust Him because He performs miracles. This not to be confused with magic tricks today. Don't be fooled into thinking Penn and Teller are also gods or worth following just because they can do kick-ass tricks, too. Jesus walked on water, Penn and Teller catch bullets in their teeth. Six of one, half dozen of the other, but only God is God and Penn and Teller are just some uppity atheists trying to stay in the public eye now that everyone is bored of them.

12 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father.
13 And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.

Jesus promises that those who believe in Him can do the kinds of miracles He did, and more. They will do all this because He's going to the Father. Don't get caught up in the fact that He just explained the Father is in Him, because that was allegorical as well as literal. He's both the Father and Not the Father, and because He's God He can get away with using divine logic where our mere human logic fails. It should be pretty clear here that anyone who fails at miracles doesn't really believe. That's really the take-home point here.

14 If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.

Jesus promises that if you ask Him for anything in His name, and He will do it. Make sure you line is connected.

Jesus Announces His Earthly Retirement
15 If ye love me, keep my commandments.

Here's a condition most people like to rationalize away, or to ignore altogether, but Jesus is very clear about it. It also makes it convenient to identify True Christians™ from false.

16 And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever;
17 Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.
18 I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.
19 Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more; but ye see me: because I live, ye shall live also.
20 At that day ye shall know that I am in my Father, and ye in me, and I in you.

Because Jesus asked the Father to send the Holy Spirit to take the place of His physical presence, the Holy Spirit testifies about Christ the way Christ testified about Himself (maybe a little less directly, but still). True Christians™ are given a fundamental knowledge of Christianity's truth because the Holy Spirit lives in us. Therefore we can conclude with confidence that arguments and evidence play a subsidiary role for the True Christian™, and are relevant only for evangelical purposes. Reason is secondary to Truth, and Truth, invented by God, lives in us because the Holy Spirit lives in us.

21 He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.
22 Judas saith unto him, not Iscariot, Lord, how is it that thou wilt manifest thyself unto us, and not unto the world?
23 Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.

Judas (the cool one) asks a question and gets Jesus' signature non-answer. "Why don't you just reveal yourself to everyone?" It's a fair question, but then I'm not Jesus and neither are you, and thank God we aren't in charge of running all reality. We're just responsible for making our way through this reality the right way so that when we are confronted with the next reality (eternity), we're not screwed. The answer boils down to the idea that first you have to have faith in God, then God will confirm your faith.

28 Ye have heard how I said unto you, I go away, and come again unto you. If ye loved me, ye would rejoice, because I said, I go unto the Father: for my Father is greater than I.
29 And now I have told you before it come to pass, that, when it is come to pass, ye might believe.
30 Hereafter I will not talk much with you: for the prince of this world cometh, and hath nothing in me.
31 But that the world may know that I love the Father; and as the Father gave me commandment, even so I do. Arise, let us go hence.

Jesus reminds them again He's leaving soon. I hope Phillip is paying attention this time, although Jesus repeated Himself a number of times in this chapter, so maybe he was nodding off after a big supper and foot rub.


Chapter 15

The Vine and the Branches
15:1 I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.
2 Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.

Jesus doesn't say exactly what He means by "fruit," but He does warn that if you fail, you'll be cut off. That's it. End of story. No second chances, no excuses, no sniveling or complaining. So much for Jesus loving everybody. Well, He may love those He cuts off, but I'd say that's kind of irrelevant at that point. So what if He loves your grandmother as He tosses her into the Lake of Fire to suffer (Revelation 20:15)? It's not like she's going to be screaming, writhing in pain, gnashing her teeth, watching her skin peel off, and comfort herself with the fact that Jesus, who tossed her unbelieving butt in there in the first place, loves her. What the hell good is love at that point, she'll be asking herself.

5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.
6 If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.

Some people mistake this for a protection racket, but that's not really the point. The point is that you'll be happier if you abide in Jesus.

7 If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.
8 Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples.

True Christians™ prayers are always answered. Guaranteed by Jesus. God will help you in this because that makes Him look good.

12 This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

Jesus loves us so long as we obey Him; this is to be the template of determining who is worthy of our love. If someone obeys Jesus, you should love and protect them because Jesus loves and protects you. If they don't, cut them off because Jesus would do that to you, too.

13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

Jesus is giving away spoilers about His sacrifice, although they're very vague at this point. He doesn't give away spoilers about getting His life back at the end of the weekend.

14 Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.

If you love me, you'll do what I say. Jesus really pounds this home in this speech, so it must be important.

16 Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you.

I chose you to be protected and to have your prayers answered.

Origins of the War on Christmas
18 If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.
21 But all these things will they do unto you for my name's sake, because they know not him that sent me.

You can tell someone who truly loves me by the fact they don't give you a hard time.

25 But this cometh to pass, that the word might be fulfilled that is written in their law, They hated me without a cause.

Because there's a prophesy in the bible about unbelievers hating God's loyal servant (Psalms 35:19; 69:4), it's proof I am the Christ. You don't need to understand that now.