[Glendora Christianson]

Folks, Santa Claus or Satan Claws as we sometimes call him has no part of a Bible based lifestyle, such as that of God's favorite churchfolk (us of course!). Anyway, how often does Santa Claws turn out to be a pervert? I recently read an unsavory account of a child molester who bragged about being a Santa every Christmas Season. And where there's one (that got caught) there's thousands. So your mother Glendora wants to know exactly what is the best way to kill a bad Santa?

[SayvedByTheLord]

Mother G. this is the perversion that brought this all about.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Importing AIDS piccanninies and sending them out roaming the streets for Santas.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

I always enjoy the reaction of visiting children to this Christmas decoration I have in my yard.

[Ahimaaz Smith]

To answer the question as posed, I suppose getting Rudolph sloshed on December 24 would be a good start.

[JennyD]

I'm thinking something simple.

I'd send word out to every madrassa in the US that Santa Claus whispers "Muhammed was a pedophile who worshipped the moon" to every child that sits on his lap. Then, sit back and let the Islamofascists take care of the problem for us!

"What do you want, little one?"



"Santa, I want to send you to Hell!"




"I want my 72 virgins, Great Satan!"

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson

So your mother Glendora wants to know exactly what is the best way to kill a bad Santa?

Barrett .338 Lapua.

[TC Patriot]

You better not shout
You better not cry
You better not pout
I'm telling you why



SATAN CLAWS IS DEAD! HA HA HA HA HA

Praise Jesus!

[Dr. Zaius]

How about a series of giant nets in the sky? Nets kill dolphins and whales, so I suspect that they will work on a bunch of flying deer and the old fat man.

[Mr. Johnson]

Claymore mine in the chimney.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Originally Posted by GodsCreation

And just when have your stupid GOD allowed you to KILL someone? you sick mormon.
And by the way your mother takes it all night long, in mouth, ass and cooter from me, I'm an atheist and I believe in equality!

Wow, so it's true, all atheists ARE semi-literate jackasses who live in their mothers' basements!

I win our bet, Pastor Peters!

If you bothered to read the Bible, you'd see that God COMMANDS executions and genocides. But no, you know better than God.

Originally Posted by Atheist Website with good research

In a previous post, I counted the number of people that were killed by God in the Bible. I came up with 2,391,421, which, of course, greatly underestimates God's total death toll, since it only includes those killings for which specific numbers are given. No attempt was made to include the victims of Noah's flood, Sodom and Gomorrah, or the many plagues, famines, fiery serpents, etc., with which the good book is filled. Still, 2 million is a respectable number even for world class killers.

But how does this compare with Satan? How many did he kill in the Bible?

Well I can only find ten, and even these he shares with God, since God allowed him to do it as a part of a bet.

I'm talking about the seven sons and three daughters of Job.

[Nobar King]

I heard that the mall Santas are being warned about the H1N1 flu virus that's going around. With all those snotty kids, it's a certainty that some Santas are going to get sick and die. If you can find his hand sanitizer, grab it when Santa is not looking. That way he can't protect himself.

[Once was lost]

Maybe the Religion of Peace can fly a plane into his sleigh?

[Hank]

12 gauge shotgun blast to the head and no more santa.

[Nobar King]

Homocidal elf rampage.

[Higgins]

Through song, like this guy did (Note: Some foul language and some violent content, viewer discretion is advised)

[James Hutchins]

Well, at the Hutchins main house, we have pressure sensitive switches on the edges of the chimney. These go into a delay igniter (20 Ms.) and fire off a series of plasma cutting torches.
No one is coming down our chimney and get at Mrs. Hutchins cookies and milk!

I do not worry about the messican and nigras living in the chicken coop, they have no chimney, only kerosene heaters they rent from the company store. Can you believe we are forced to sell kerosene at $9.799 a gallon?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

How can you kill a mythological creature?

Asking how to kill Santa is like asking how to kill Zeus, or the Great Pumpkin, or Thor, or the Easter Bunny, or Quetzalcoatl, or any of the other silly things people make up to scare children into behaving nicely so they can get a reward or avoid punishment. Wouldn't it be better to focus on helping people find Salvation, so they can spend eternity in Heaven with Jesus instead of burning forever in the Lake of Fire?

Unless the question is those shopping mall drunks dressed up as Santa. In that case . . . I imagine God will do it in His time. Or we can pass a law to make dressing as certain fictional deity-type characters illegal and punishable by execution!

[despising david]

a simple and easy way might be to add a little holy water to the milk beside the fireplace, wouldn't that be a great christmas present to holy children everywhere who have been victimized by satan clause

[BelieverInGod]

This should keep any Santa out of your house.