BIBLICAL RESEARCH FROM LANDOVER CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY HAS CONFIRMED THAT BABIES WHO ARE ‘TEETHING’ ARE ACTUALLY POSSESSED BY EVIL DEMONS SENT FROM HELL.
The study of selected verses from KJV1611 shows that screaming, waking up at night, biting, and generally being troublesome are not due to ‘incisors coming through’, but are undeniable symptoms of a dark spiritual possession by the Canaanite demon Yam accompanied by Lotan, his twisting, seven-headed serpent ally.
New mom, Mary Hogarth said: “We thought that the crying, the grumpiness, projectile vomiting, and waking up at night screaming ‘mottherpiffleers’, were all normal symptoms of teething. To discover that our baby is possessed of a malevolent force sent by Satan from the bowels of hell is something of a shock. We are hoping it’s just a phase.”
The research also points to the deluded mind of the mother during possession, Professor Doctor Elmer White said: “Mothers are in denial and love blaming stuff on teething. If it were actually teething the number of times she says “Ah… he’s teething”, then the child would have 9,328 teeth on average, whereas those possessed tend to have fewer than five. Their soul is clearly inhabited by evil force. And we must deal with this evil that infests our society if ever the Jews are going to be perfected.”
Pastor Rune Enoe, from his office on the Copenhagen campus of Landover Baptist University, said: “Parents are advised to try giving their possessed baby a pacifier...” He paused and added “Ha! Not really. You’re screwed. Maybe try praying or better still, call in a True Christian Pastor and let them deal with it.”