Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole
Friends, I have a business opportunity for the savvy international investor. I am selling all of my shares in a small shale gas extraction firm associated with Landover's very own Free Market Fred. It's located in Northern India, just outside a village called Naples or something. Send a PM if interested - quick. Oh and don't read the news for a few days, it's always the same old stuff anyways, right?
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Absolutely right, Brother Anthony. Sad to say, but even India suffers from a liberal media that is biased against Godly corporations like my company. Lately they've been whining about how shale gas fracking causes earthquakes, a ridiculous notion. Obviously, the Injuns are just saying this because they want money as "compensation" over that little tremor in Nepal. Even though my company did cause it, I think they ought to be thanking us, considering how much overpopulation they got. Anything to "cull the herd" should be seen as a blessing.
Of course, I shouldn't be surprised that the Injuns are kicking up a fuss. Do you know it's been over 30 years already since my company caused that little incident in
Bhopal, but the Injuns are still whining over that! Hey, anything to get a welfare check - I swear, they're even worse than Malaysians, who've been asking my company for money in secret negotiations just because we accidentally shot down two of their airplanes last year. Really, all them Asiaoid countries are so greedy, it just makes me sick. Ditto for them African Negro countries, like Liberia which wants us to pay just because our little ebola bio-warfare experiment escaped from the lab.
That's the trouble with the world today - greed. Everybody is looking for a handout, instead of a helping hand (like an IMF loan, for example). I'm proud to say that my company has never accepted a handout (note: the $16 trillion Wall Street bankster bailouts we received were not a handout, because we paid it back in just a few months by printing up millions of fraudulent mortgage documents which we then sold to the US Treasury Department as a rock-solid investment).
As a caring, sharing multinational, the Uranus Corporation takes its public responsibilities seriously. So if the Injuns want us to continue selling weapons to them, best thing they could do is shut up about that little shale gas induced earthquake, and be happy that the Pakis don't have enough money to buy our awesome new "small pox drones," also known as "the drone with a surprise inside."