[Brother V]

Jeremiah 22-24

Well, it's finally the day where we all are supposed to go to the dentist.

Jeremiah 22

1 Thus saith the LORD; Go down to the house of the king of Judah, and speak there this word,

Even though Jeremiah was picked on by Pashur, he still was a respected member of society. Remember, Zedekiah sent people to go talk to Jeremiah. Just because he acted a bit like a lunatic, doesn't mean that his position as son of one of the temple leaders didn't hold clout. Here, Jeremiah is talking to Jehoiakim, so this took place before chapter 21.

3 Thus saith the LORD; Execute ye judgment and righteousness, and deliver the spoiled out of the hand of the oppressor: and do no wrong, do no violence to the stranger, the fatherless, nor the widow, neither shed innocent blood in this place.

Wow, that doesn't seem like too much to ask of the king, to execute judgment in righteousness. That seems like an easy thing to do. Except when you think about it. That means that the king isn't doing that. Imagine that now you have the ability to go talk to President Barack Hussein Obama, whenever you want to, now you have to go tell him that everything he is doing is wrong. Is the president going to listen to you? No, he's probably going to throw you out of the oval office. You will wind up having the Secret Service tailing you for the rest of your life (or at least his presidency). He'll ridicule you, every member of his staff will ridicule you. Fox news may want to put you on, but even they mock people who are more righteous than they.

4 For if ye do this thing indeed, then shall there enter in by the gates of this house kings sitting upon the throne of David, riding in chariots and on horses, he, and his servants, and his people.

Execute righteous judgment, and you can stay in power.

5 But if ye will not hear these words, I swear by myself, saith the LORD, that this house shall become a desolation.

I wonder what happened?

11 For thus saith the LORD touching Shallum the son of Josiah king of Judah, which reigned instead of Josiah his father, which went forth out of this place; He shall not return thither any more:

Shallum here is Jehoahaz. Jehoahaz was king for a whopping 3 months. Then he was taken into Egyptian captivity by Pharaoh Necho2. Shallum/Jehoahaz was the brother of Jehoiakim, who was born Eliakim.

12 But he shall die in the place whither they have led him captive, and shall see this land no more.

That would be Egypt.

18 Therefore thus saith the LORD concerning Jehoiakim the son of Josiah king of Judah; They shall not lament for him, saying, Ah my brother! or, Ah sister! they shall not lament for him, saying, Ah lord! or, Ah his glory!

Jehoiakim wasn't a great king. He flip flopped, first siding with the Egyptians, then with Babylon, then back with Egypt. He died during the siege.

24 As I live, saith the LORD, though Coniah the son of Jehoiakim king of Judah were the signet upon my right hand, yet would I pluck thee thence;

Ok, who is Coniah. Ah, Coniah is Jeconiah/Jehoiachin, the next king. His reign lasted three months and 10 days.

25 And I will give thee into the hand of them that seek thy life, and into the hand of them whose face thou fearest, even into the hand of Nebuchadrezzar king of Babylon, and into the hand of the Chaldeans.

After that three months, he was taken into Babylonian captivity. This is documented in the Jehoiachin's Rations Tablets. Which were excavated from Babylon during 1899-1917.

28 Is this man Coniah a despised broken idol? is he a vessel wherein is no pleasure? wherefore are they cast out, he and his seed, and are cast into a land which they know not?

Jehoiachin had at least seven children, none of them were king after him. That went to his uncle Zekekiah.

Jeremiah 23

1 Woe be unto the pastors that destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture! saith the LORD.

Attention modern pastors! Woe be unto you!

After the people get scattered, God will bring them back together, and he'll set up shepherds that will watch them better.

5 Behold, the days come, saith the LORD, that I will raise unto David a righteous Branch, and a King shall reign and prosper, and shall execute judgment and justice in the earth.

Jesus Christ!

6 In his days Judah shall be saved, and Israel shall dwell safely: and this is his name whereby he shall be called, THE LORD OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS.

Jehovah Tsidkenu. That's in all caps, because it's like LORD, one of the names of God.

7 Therefore, behold, the days come, saith the LORD, that they shall no more say, The LORD liveth, which brought up the children of Israel out of the land of Egypt;

What? That's one of the favorite things the hebrews like to say.

8 But, The LORD liveth, which brought up and which led the seed of the house of Israel out of the north country, and from all countries whither I had driven them; and they shall dwell in their own land.

Oh, they are going to talk about the return from the Babylonian Exile more than the Egypt time. Nope, I don't think that's happened. Unless they are not talking about the Babylonian Exile, and are talking about Germany... Which is a much more north country, and the jews can't stop talking about that. But I never hear them claiming it was the LORD who saved them from that.

Jeremiah now spends considerable time bitching about false prophets.

15 Therefore thus saith the LORD of hosts concerning the prophets; Behold, I will feed them with wormwood, and make them drink the water of gall: for from the prophets of Jerusalem is profaneness gone forth into all the land.

Absinthe? Gall water is bitter, possibly poisonous.

24 Can any hide himself in secret places that I shall not see him? saith the LORD. Do not I fill heaven and earth? saith the LORD.

You can't hide from God, and you can't surprise him; God is a horrible person to play hide and seek with.

28 The prophet that hath a dream, let him tell a dream; and he that hath my word, let him speak my word faithfully. What is the chaff to the wheat? saith the LORD.

God compares true prophecy to false prophecy with the analogy of chaff to wheat. God's prophecy is obviously the wheat. No one would choose the chaff over the wheat... except that everyone chooses the easy false prophecy over the hard REAL prophecy, so this probably wasn't a great analogy.

30 Therefore, behold, I am against the prophets,...

31 Behold, I am against the prophets,...

32 Behold, I am against them that prophesy false dreams...

God is against the prophets, in case you didn't get that.

40 And I will bring an everlasting reproach upon you, and a perpetual shame, which shall not be forgotten.

False prophets get perpetual shame, and everlasting reproach. Don't be a false prophet.

Jeremiah 24

1 The LORD shewed me, and, behold, two baskets of figs were set before the temple of the LORD, after that Nebuchadrezzar king of Babylon had carried away captive Jeconiah the son of Jehoiakim king of Judah, and the princes of Judah, with the carpenters and smiths, from Jerusalem, and had brought them to Babylon.

Jeconiah, Coniah, Jehoiachin has been taken away, after his three months. Three months and 10 days, that's 100 days. Can you imagine if CNN was around then, when they were talking about Jeconiah's first 100 days, they would have to break in to their special with a special news bulletin, "My sources are telling me that Jeconiah has been taken away to Babylon..." "yes, it's confirmed, after 100 days, Jeconiah has been deposed along with his family. I'm Rick Sanchez, and this is your newsroom Judah. Send me your comments on Twitter and Facebook".

2 One basket had very good figs, even like the figs that are first ripe: and the other basket had very naughty figs, which could not be eaten, they were so bad.

Oh, you are a naughty fig, aren't you.. you need a spanking, you naughty naughty fig.

3 Then said the LORD unto me, What seest thou, Jeremiah? And I said, Figs; the good figs, very good; and the evil, very evil, that cannot be eaten, they are so evil.

Naughty, evil figs, they need spanking, yes they do (the safe word is the correct pronunciation of Jehovah Tsidkenu).

God then tells Jeremiah that the good figs will be taken away to Babylon and all that will be left for Zedekiah with be the crappy evil figs.



Not evil, naughty figs, those are good figs.

Figs can go bad quickly after they've been picked. Just like jews.

So what have we learned today?

1. God hates false prophets.

2. You can't hide from God.

3. Good figs go to Babylon, although, they probably won't make the trip unless they are dried.