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Default Day 186. Proverbs 4-6 - 09-15-2009, 05:54 PM

Proverbs 4-6


Proverbs 4

1 Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding.

"Know understanding", what an interesting phrase. You would think that the author could have said "know" or "understand" but when you ponder, "know understanding" it's much deeper than just knowing or understanding. Knowing, is the "what". Understanding is the "why". Knowing understanding is being able to tell the why and the what.

Like in math class. Children learn their multiplication tables. At first they just memorize the what. 2 times 4 is 8. They don't understand WHY 2 times 4 is 8. They just know it is, they are just programmed by flash cards. It isn't until they discover that 2 times 4 is the same as 2 plus 2 plus 2 plus 2 equals 8. It is then that they will be able to understand why that is.

Knowing understanding with proverbs is wisdom. Knowledge is a good thing, being able to know why something is what it is, is better.

5 Get wisdom, get understanding: forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth.



6 Forsake her not, and she shall preserve thee: love her, and she shall keep thee.

Remember, wisdom is normally a she.

7 Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.

I'm not sure if there are wisdom schools, I know there are many that produce zombies who can recite things their professors say, but are those people really wise?

17 For they eat the bread of wickedness, and drink the wine of violence.

I haven't seen too many guys get violent from drinking wine. Normally that happens from too many jagerbombs.

19 The way of the wicked is as darkness: they know not at what they stumble.

Of course, they probably are drunk too.

26 Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.

27 Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil.


It's hard to walk a straight line when you are drunk and violent. The path may be narrow, but if you stay on the path nothing can harm you. When you are harmed, it's because YOU strayed, not because there was anything dangerous in the path itself. Unless you are Job, then his path had all kinds of crap in it.

Proverbs 5

2 That thou mayest regard discretion, and that thy lips may keep knowledge.

We haven't really gotten into the proverbs themselves yet. We won't get to those until around chapter 10. There are some good sayings in here, but the first section is mostly just why the child should pay attention. There's some gems in these chapters, but not the greatest ones.

3 For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil:

The strange woman here is a metaphor for lack of knowledge. Being a fool is easy, like a bar whore.

4 But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.

8 Remove thy way far from her, and come not nigh the door of her house:

Do NOT take a bar whore home. Do NOT go to her house, find a hotel nearby, or just use her car.

If you do, these are the consequences: other people will get your wealth, honor, you'll work for others.

18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.

Don't pick up the bar whore, stick with your wife.

19 Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.

The breasts will fill out more after a child or 2.

20 And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?

The bar whore, probably has fake tits anyway.

Wisdom is like your wife at home, and she's attractive (obviously, because I doubt the king of Israel had an ugly wife). Foolishness is the bar whore. Exactly why you are at a bar, when you've got a hot wife at home with perky tits and she's quite subservient is beyond me, but that's what foolish people do.

22 His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be holden with the cords of his sins.

23 He shall die without instruction; and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.


Oh, and you'll probably get a venereal disease and die from the AIDS from that one night stand.

Proverbs 6

1 My son, if thou be surety for thy friend, if thou hast stricken thy hand with a stranger,

2 Thou art snared with the words of thy mouth, thou art taken with the words of thy mouth.


Here, wisdom is a friend, and foolishness is a stranger. A man can not walk and hold hands with his friend, when he is already holding the hand of a stranger.

3 Do this now, my son, and deliver thyself, when thou art come into the hand of thy friend; go, humble thyself, and make sure thy friend.

Why a man would hold hands with a stranger is beyond me. Thank goodness two male friends walking down the street holding hands is by no means gay.

5 Deliver thyself as a roe from the hand of the hunter, and as a bird from the hand of the fowler.

I hate FOWLERS! I can't stand any of them. They are all worthless. Well, it's not that I hate them exactly, I hate them when I am the fowl.

6 Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise:

7 Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler,

8 Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest.


This must be before much research was done on ants, the queen ant must have never been discovered at this point. Oddly, it's stated that the ant worker is a female.

16 These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:

Here is some wisdom!

17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,

18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,

19 A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.


1. a proud look
2. a lying tongue
3. hands that shed innocent blood
4. a heart that deviseth wicked imaginations
5. feet that run swiftly to mischief
6. a false witness
7. someone who sows discord.

24 To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.

25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.


Apparently, now the evil strange woman is also rather beautiful.

28 Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?

Um, yes, I saw it on mythbusters.

29 So he that goeth in to his neighbour's wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent.

Did Solomon write this? Did he not know the story of his birth?

30 Men do not despise a thief, if he steal to satisfy his soul when he is hungry;

31 But if he be found, he shall restore sevenfold; he shall give all the substance of his house.


Remember, adultery is stealing of another mans property. The hunger here is lust. David sort of got around the restore thing, by having Uriah turned into a heap.

32 But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.

It sounds as if Solomon has some daddy issues. Perhaps it's because he knew that his dad liked Absalom better.

33 A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away.

Wow, kind of strong words, I wonder if he's really speaking directly about his father.

35 He will not regard any ransom; neither will he rest content, though thou givest many gifts.

Even weirder, you'd think this would have been written by one of David's other sons who DIDN'T become king. Possibly this was written before Solomon became king, when he was thinking that Absalom would become the next king, before Bathsheba set Absalom up for being kicked out.

So what have we learned today.

1. Wisdom is a hot young wife at home, not a beautiful bar whore whose ass tastes like bitters.

2. God hates 6 things, well, 7 things, but he hates the last one the most, and that's a sower of discord.

3. Solomon had some daddy issues.

YIC
V


Judges 9:21 And Jotham ran away, and fled, and went to Beer, and dwelt there, for fear of Abimelech his brother.
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