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Reload this Page Day 187. Proverbs 7-9 (warning NC-17)
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Default Day 187. Proverbs 7-9 (warning NC-17) - 09-15-2009, 10:21 PM

Proverbs 7-9

Proverbs 7

1 My son, keep my words, and lay up my commandments with thee.

This one, again is telling the son to pay attention to the proverbs.

4 Say unto wisdom, Thou art my sister; and call understanding thy kinswoman:

Wait a second... *needles scratches across record*; did that just call wisdom the sister?

Lets think all the way back to PROVERBS 5:9...

Here's the pertinent part... "LET HER BREASTS SATISFY THEE AT ALL TIMES; AND BE THOU RAVISHED ALWAYS WITH HER LOVE." That there is talking about a wife. Now it's talking about making it a sister, and not like Sister Sue Vera, who is a Sister in Christ ® this is a freaking real life kinswoman sister!!!

This is Biblical Wisdom. I mean I can understand if it's cousin, or maybe step sister, but sister sister? Isn't that contrary to Leviticus 18:9 The nakedness of thy sister, the daughter of thy father, or daughter of thy mother, whether she be born at home, or born abroad, even their nakedness thou shalt not uncover. ???

Of those 1000 wives, did Solomon have any that were his sister?

5 That they may keep thee from the strange woman, from the stranger which flattereth with her words.

When you think about Solomon, you normally think of two things, wisdom, and riches. To really get to know Solomon, you must read proverbs. Before Solomon spouts off all his wisdom... he talks about women. Proverbs 7 talks about him being picked up on the street by a bar whore.

10 And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart.

Solomon, always with nookie on his mind.

13 So she caught him, and kissed him, and with an impudent face said unto him,

How hard is it to be caught by a woman you don't want to be caught by? Rather hard if you ask me.

16 I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestry, with carved works, with fine linen of Egypt.

Why is he telling his son this?

18 Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning: let us solace ourselves with loves.

At what age is it appropriate to tell your children about walking down the street, being caught by a bar whore, and then being taken home by her?

19 For the goodman is not at home, he is gone a long journey:

Oh great, her husband isn't at home. In a modern retelling of this story, the husband would be in the army, and she'd be trolling the officers club, trying to pick up service members.

21 With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him.

Raping a man is rather hard, if he doesn't want to be raped, especially if the weapon being used is "fair speech".

24 Hearken unto me now therefore, O ye children, and attend to the words of my mouth.

25 Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths.


This doesn't seem like a good story to tell a boy, it might make them want to not get wise.

Proverbs 8

1 Doth not wisdom cry? and understanding put forth her voice?

Well, a wife would cry if she found out her husband was sleeping with a bar whore, so yeah, I guess wisdom cries.

3 She crieth at the gates, at the entry of the city, at the coming in at the doors.

Oh, it's not crieth as in tears, it's crieth like the town crier. Saying "hear ye, hear ye"

4 Unto you, O men, I call; and my voice is to the sons of man.

Wisdom is a woman, and she's not a lesbian, wisdom is for men.

6 Hear; for I will speak of excellent things; and the opening of my lips shall be right things.



Excellent!!!

7 For my mouth shall speak truth; and wickedness is an abomination to my lips.

Wisdom is the truth, and remember, God hates a liar.

9 They are all plain to him that understandeth, and right to them that find knowledge.

Wisdom is easy to understand. It doesn't take a 50 page interpretation by a radical judge. Wisdom is like the Bill of Rights in the Constitution. It doesn't require interpretation. It doesn't require a caveat. Wisdom is the 10 commandments. Wisdom is instructions for putting a bicycle together.

10 Receive my instruction, and not silver; and knowledge rather than choice gold.

Remember, Solomon is known, normally, for 2 things, wisdom and money. Don't forget he's a jew, so the thing he's willing to share, is his wisdom and not his fortune.

11 For wisdom is better than rubies; and all the things that may be desired are not to be compared to it.

That's easy to say, considering he was brought up never wanting. You don't see him writing emo poems like David. Why, because David did have a couple of tribulations, like when Saul wanted to kill him, and he went off and hid, but his son Solomon didn't really have that problem.

13 The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate.

So far we've hear "fear of the LORD" a lot. Now, we get a definition of what it is. Hatred of evil, pride and arrogancy, and hatred of the evil way, and the froward mouth (mouth that speaks without a filter).

17 I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me.


Wisdom is easy to find. The early bird gets the wisdom, the early... um... guy looking for a wife (or sister) gets the wisdom.

21 That I may cause those that love me to inherit substance; and I will fill their treasures.

That's great, you get the wisdom, then you get the riches, riches is a by product of being wise.

22 The LORD possessed me in the beginning of his way, before his works of old.

Wisdom has been around since the beginning of time.

33 Hear instruction, and be wise, and refuse it not.

You'd have to be stupid to refuse wisdom, it provides wealth, and is a hot wife with nice titties.

35 For whoso findeth me findeth life, and shall obtain favour of the LORD.

And you get to live longer.

Proverbs 9

1 Wisdom hath builded her house, she hath hewn out her seven pillars:

Awesome, wisdom also owns her own house.

2 She hath killed her beasts; she hath mingled her wine; she hath also furnished her table.


This is obviously not the wine of violence that we learned of the other day.

4 Whoso is simple, let him turn in hither: as for him that wanteth understanding, she saith to him,

When she saith that, she in no way sounds like a harlot or bar whore.

5 Come, eat of my bread, and drink of the wine which I have mingled.

I pickled the figs myself...

7 He that reproveth a scorner getteth to himself shame: and he that rebuketh a wicked man getteth himself a blot.

Wow, was that an actual proverb? That had sound advice, I think that was a proverb.

8 Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee: rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee.

Both of those proverbs are sound. If you show a scorner how he is wrong, the scorner will hate you. If you show a wise person when they are wrong, they will say "thanks, now I won't make that mistake again". If you show a wicked person how they are wrong, you'll get a blot, which to me, sounds a lot like a black eye.

9 Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning.

Smart people are willing to learn.

10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.


Fear of the LORD is? Come on... who was paying attention?

Hatred of evil, pride and arrogancy, and hatred of the evil way, and the froward mouth.

13 A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing.

Well, nothing other than flattery and how to pick up guys at the bars.

16 Whoso is simple, let him turn in hither: and as for him that wanteth understanding, she saith to him,

Smart men don't take bar whores home, smart men take the waitresses and bartendresses home.

17 Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.

And choosy mothers choose jif.

18 But he knoweth not that the dead are there; and that her guests are in the depths of hell.

It's like little shop of horrors in there!

So what have we learned today?

1. Wisdom is your sister; even though yesterday it was your wife.

2. Fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom. Hatred of evil, pride and arrogancy, and hatred of the evil way, and the froward mouth.

3. Your wife/sister owns her own house and makes her own bread; and mingles her own wine. I'd prefer if she'd take some fruit and vodka, and then let it sit and have the flavors of that mix, but mingled wine ain't so bad either.

YIC
V


Judges 9:21 And Jotham ran away, and fled, and went to Beer, and dwelt there, for fear of Abimelech his brother.
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Default Re: Day 187. Proverbs 7-9 (warning NC-17) - 09-16-2009, 09:52 AM

Solomon confuses me a bit Brother V. Being raped by a harlot ... I hope this will be put right further on. I now have the urge to ... pray. A lot.


Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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