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HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN A seasonal forum to NOT celebrate Satan's birthday.

 
 
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Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: I LOVE HALLOWEEN! - 10-15-2008, 11:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by scarlet purity View Post
Pastor, speaking of harlotry and whoremongers, what the Biblethumpersister or whatshername what doing to you when you leaved your back door open?

Zeke only opens his back door to bears.


Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!
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Default Re: I LOVE HALLOWEEN! - 10-15-2008, 11:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Iron Crotch View Post
Zeke only opens his back door to bears.
That's disgusting.

I assure you, even if he were having an 80s dance party, Pastor Zeke would not allow any bears into his home -- through the front door, the back door, or even the garage door!!



Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: I LOVE HALLOWEEN! - 10-18-2008, 07:18 AM

Screw the devils birthday.
He doesn't need a particular day in which to do his evil.
Its pastors like you all in the baptist community who take on
his job 365.

Never have I witnessed such hypocritical pastors, who in the name of Jesus are trying to save people when they need it most themselves.
You are pushing people AWAY from God.
Regardless of what people like "Scarlett Purity"
claim to believe or the actions in which they partake
Never ONCE would Jesus call her a... what was it? "filthy whore"

For every person you claim to "save", the truly "worthy ones" who worship at your church there are ten more whom you push away.

God says we are all worthy of his son's salvation.
But sadly in this forum the ones who need Jesus' word more than anyone else are turned to and judged. Instead of praying for her and having faith that God is working in her life too. Not only members of clergy.

It is no wonder that there are so many damned souls in this world.
Awaiting life in hell, not only because they are sinners but also because the people they look to for the word are hypocrites.

Jesus says hypocrites are going to hell. And pastor or not, your judgment day will come same as Scarlett Purity's.

Get it together.

From your own website I can tell are all so blind. Commenting on other religions and judging others. It's going to take a news flash, when Jesus comes back to earth to open the eyes of this church.

The very simple rules of living according to Jesus are so skewed by the institutions of religion that the devil can just sit back and watch us destroy our own souls.
Its sad that in the name of God this church is making it so easy for evil to win.

Life through Jesus does not sicken people (as I was reading passages from this site)

Life through Jesus does not condone the hypocritical (which I view this church and many others as)

Life through Christ is peace, love, forgiveness.

Is all that too hard to understand? Crack open the same Bible you scorn others for not reading and start with yourselves before you try to over take the nation (as you claim is your goal) with another Man enforced religion that will prove only to be as perilous for our souls as all the religious you condemn.
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Default Re: I LOVE HALLOWEEN! - 10-18-2008, 07:55 AM

You are a poor misguided creature and Jesus has sympathy for you. Our Lord guided you here for a reason, so before you condemn us you should take the time to read the introduction to our forum:

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=5610

After reading it you might like to provide some scripture to backup your claims and assertions as to who is going to hell.

Praise Jesus!



Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Default Re: I LOVE HALLOWEEN! - 10-30-2008, 06:45 PM

... Helloween is dirty, rotten filth. I hope that Jesus rescues your soul before you commit trickery in the name of "treats".
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Default Re: I LOVE HALLOWEEN! - 10-30-2008, 06:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adam Smith View Post
before you commit trickery in the name of "treats".
Or worse, in the name of..."tricks"
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Default Re: I LOVE HALLOWEEN! - 10-30-2008, 07:02 PM

Lord save us, committing evil for the sake of committing more evil is a horrible sin.

As acts 13:10 says -

"You are a child of the devil and an enemy of everything that is right! You are full of all kinds of deceit and trickery. Will you never stop perverting the right ways of the Lord?"
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Default Re: I LOVE HALLOWEEN! - 10-30-2008, 07:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adam Smith View Post
Lord save us, committing evil for the sake of committing more evil is a horrible sin.

As acts 13:10 says -

"You are a child of the devil and an enemy of everything that is right! You are full of all kinds of deceit and trickery. Will you never stop perverting the right ways of the Lord?"
Hmm, my Bible doesn't say that.

Mine says:

And said, O full of all subtilty and all mischief, thou child of the devil, thou enemy of all righteousness, wilt thou not cease to pervert the right ways of the Lord?

We use the King James Bible here, friend.


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: I LOVE HALLOWEEN! - 10-30-2008, 07:37 PM

Ooops! Wrong one.
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Default Re: I LOVE HALLOWEEN! - 10-30-2008, 07:47 PM

You're looking more and more like a sinner posing as a Christian with the ultimate goal of infiltrating these Godly interweb forums for your Satanic cult. You're not...are you?
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Default Re: I LOVE HALLOWEEN! - 10-30-2008, 07:50 PM

I am no Judas, my friend.
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Default Re: I LOVE HALLOWEEN! - 10-30-2008, 10:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adam Smith View Post
I am no Judas, my friend.
No, you're a Catholic.


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: I LOVE HALLOWEEN! - 11-02-2008, 12:47 AM

I love Halloween too! Halloween is my birhday and I just turned 19.
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Default Re: I LOVE HALLOWEEN! - 11-02-2008, 12:50 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dork Maiden View Post
I love Halloween too! Halloween is my birhday and I just turned 19.
How many Christian babies did you sacrifice to satan to celebrate?

Or did you fornicate with dead wolves again?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: I LOVE HALLOWEEN! - 11-02-2008, 01:00 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
How many Christian babies did you sacrifice to satan to celebrate?

Or did you fornicate with dead wolves again?
Your post is just plain stupid, idiotic, and immature. None of what you said is true. I have celebrated my birthday with my fiancee.
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Default Re: I LOVE HALLOWEEN! - 11-02-2008, 01:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dork Maiden View Post
Your post is just plain stupid, idiotic, and immature. None of what you said is true. I have celebrated my birthday with my fiancee.
Is your fiancé Satan?? It must be with a horrible birthday like that! Witch


Gather around so that I can read to you from my book of TRUTH. Genesis thru Revelations....Pick one!

Luke 12:5- But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him.
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Default Re: I LOVE HALLOWEEN! - 11-02-2008, 09:22 PM

Does anyone know the historical background to Halloween? Not the stuff you made up, but the actual historical background?
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Default Re: I LOVE HALLOWEEN! - 11-02-2008, 09:32 PM

In basic terms, it's the night before All Hallow's Day. Traditionally it is the day that the minions of satan run riot.

At Landover, we have no truck with All Hallow's day, it's a Catlick invention - however, there are enough of the servants of the Antichrist about on 31st October to make it worthwhile taking up special vigilance.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: I LOVE HALLOWEEN! - 10-06-2009, 12:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Filthy whore is what I had in mind. Good Christian girls don't fornicate with monkey worshipers.
Christians are all a bunch of assholes. Think logically. Forget your fairytale dreams of a magical god who made everything, and a perfect afterlife if you give the local pastor a good blowjob. Screw you all, seriously.
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: I LOVE HALLOWEEN! - 10-06-2009, 12:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by HolyMoly! View Post
Christians are all a bunch of assholes. Think logically. Forget your fairytale dreams of a magical god who made everything, and a perfect afterlife if you give the local pastor a good blowjob. Screw you all, seriously.
Thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to drop by God's favorite forum and spew hatred. The Holy Bible says that we are actually Blessed by your persecution. Shout Glory!!

Quote:
Matthew 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
5:11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
5:12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
 

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