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Default Re: EMERGENCY MISSION TO JAPAN - 03-15-2011, 09:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by HTannor View Post
I am sending along a stack of Brother Gabriel Reproba's business cards.

If any of the slants feel like suing someone, I have issued a court order that the Good Brother reduce his normal legal fees by eighty-five percent.
Your Honor please consider the following
Quote:
Today I cleaned out my closet, spring is here. I am sending 25 hand made suits from last year to Japland. The way I figure it is that they should at least look nice when they get to hell.
It might be advantageous to place those business cards in the coat pockets of these donated suits.
1. It will get the cards more widely distributed
2. If they show up in your courtroom they will be properly attired and not in one of those silk housecoats.
3. It will give you a chance to go through said pockets, there is no telling what you might find. Remember sharing is a Christian activity Brother.


1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

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HTannor HTannor is offline
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Default Re: EMERGENCY MISSION TO JAPAN - 03-15-2011, 10:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis View Post
Your Honor please consider the following

It might be advantageous to place those business cards in the coat pockets of these donated suits.
1. It will get the cards more widely distributed
2. If they show up in your courtroom they will be properly attired and not in one of those silk housecoats.
3. It will give you a chance to go through said pockets, there is no telling what you might find. Remember sharing is a Christian activity Brother.
What an incredible idea, Brother BAD, I'll contact Brother DeWitt immediately to coordinate our relief supplies.

Should one of those Nips show up in the courtroom. I'm thinking of a full body and cavity search looking for contraband. We can't be too careful, you know, since Slants are big into precious metals, foreign currency, and fish heads. Don't worry about the fish heads, they'll go to the Cat Section of the local Animal Rescue League. Whatever else is found will be "finders keepers.


The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
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James Dewitt James Dewitt is offline
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Default Re: EMERGENCY MISSION TO JAPAN - 03-15-2011, 11:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis View Post
Your Honor please consider the following

It might be advantageous to place those business cards in the coat pockets of these donated suits.
1. It will get the cards more widely distributed
2. If they show up in your courtroom they will be properly attired and not in one of those silk housecoats.
3. It will give you a chance to go through said pockets, there is no telling what you might find. Remember sharing is a Christian activity Brother.
Not to worry, my maid searches my pockets every day. Usually when I am still wearing my pants.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HTannor View Post
What an incredible idea, Brother BAD, I'll contact Brother DeWitt immediately to coordinate our relief supplies.

Should one of those Nips show up in the courtroom. I'm thinking of a full body and cavity search looking for contraband. We can't be too careful, you know, since Slants are big into precious metals, foreign currency, and fish heads. Don't worry about the fish heads, they'll go to the Cat Section of the local Animal Rescue League. Whatever else is found will be "finders keepers.
You got them Judge Tannor. I will have Lamar drop them off in the morning. Along with a case of single malt scotch, I got a speeding ticket in the school zone again, whats up with the 20MPH?
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Default Re: EMERGENCY MISSION TO JAPAN - 03-15-2011, 11:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt View Post


You got them Judge Tannor. I will have Lamar drop them off in the morning. Along with a case of single malt scotch, I got a speeding ticket in the school zone again, whats up with the 20MPH?
Lamar is such an obedient "personage" and I really enjoy his "shucking and jiving." He always reminds me of that jovial negroidal, Stepenhfetchit. He is more than welcome to drop by.

Speeding tickets are such a trivial matter in my court, that they are routinely dismissed.


The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
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Default Re: EMERGENCY MISSION TO JAPAN - 03-16-2011, 10:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by HTannor View Post
Lamar is such an obedient "personage" and I really enjoy his "shucking and jiving." He always reminds me of that jovial negroidal, Stepenhfetchit. He is more than welcome to drop by.

Speeding tickets are such a trivial matter in my court, that they are routinely dismissed.
He brings a smile to your face anytime you see him. I used to wonder what was on his mind, behind that beaming smile, then I thought it might not be anything but random thoughts...know what I mean? Did you get that shipment of potassium Iodide in, I hear there is a real run going on them by those panty waisters in California. Better we get them and save the True Believers from any man made radiation leak problems. PTL!


1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

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Default Re: EMERGENCY MISSION TO JAPAN - 03-17-2011, 07:05 AM

Where the heck are you guys? I have been here for the last three days stuck in the hotel room. The jippos won't let us on the freeways to get to the quake zone.

I finally moved to street preaching in Tokyo, I have found plenty of people willing to take Bibles considering they are in abject fear. The best place to get them is at their lowest. These people are scared of another earthquake and a nuclear meltdown. The opportunities have never been better!

In Christ,
Levi


Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



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Default Re: EMERGENCY MISSION TO JAPAN - 03-18-2011, 09:52 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Levi Jones View Post
Where the heck are you guys? I have been here for the last three days stuck in the hotel room. The jippos won't let us on the freeways to get to the quake zone.

I finally moved to street preaching in Tokyo, I have found plenty of people willing to take Bibles considering they are in abject fear. The best place to get them is at their lowest. These people are scared of another earthquake and a nuclear meltdown. The opportunities have never been better!

In Christ,
Levi
Brother help is on the way, did you pack lead lined jockey shorts?
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Default Re: EMERGENCY MISSION TO JAPAN - 03-18-2011, 12:58 PM

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Originally Posted by James Dewitt View Post
Brother help is on the way, did you pack lead lined jockey shorts?

I hope that when our people return to Freehold they will have the glow of Jesus, not a glow of some other kind.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: EMERGENCY MISSION TO JAPAN - 03-19-2011, 03:55 PM

Just a reminder that I've set up a shelter for any little ornamental boys who are brought back and need salvation therapy. The salvation hut will house no more than a few dozen of the little nippers, so only choose the cream of the crop. Praise God that we can do so much to so many!



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-Youth Minister Harry Lester
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Default Re: EMERGENCY MISSION TO JAPAN - 03-19-2011, 08:23 PM

I too would like to help.

As many of you know, Mrs. Hutchins has been making cheese food sandwiches on Wonder Bread. She wraps them in wax paper and sticks them in an envelope.

Now, I would be more than happy to house a dozen or so of the craftey devils on the plantation. But only if they bring their own irons and ironing boards. I assume they like gruel.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: EMERGENCY MISSION TO JAPAN - 03-25-2011, 04:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
I too would like to help.

As many of you know, Mrs. Hutchins has been making cheese food sandwiches on Wonder Bread. She wraps them in wax paper and sticks them in an envelope.

Now, I would be more than happy to house a dozen or so of the craftey devils on the plantation. But only if they bring their own irons and ironing boards. I assume they like gruel.
Brother James, I hope you won't mind if I give you a smallish financial tip. Rice is a commodity and gruel is not. Purchase some futures options on rice. If it goes down, you can feed your new "guests" cheaper. If it goes up which I am sure it will, you will make a lot of extra dough. I do realize that this humane offer on your part is not prompted by greed, but Baby Jesus did instruct us to increase our gold holdings.
Matthew 25:13-30 -- Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh. For the kingdom of heaven is as a man travelling into a far country, who called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods. And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey. Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made them other five talents. And likewise he that had received two, he also gained other two. But he that had received one went and digged in the earth, and hid his lord's money. After a long time the lord of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them. And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more. His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. He also that had received two talents came and said, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me two talents: behold, I have gained two other talents beside them. His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strawed: And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine. His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strawed: Thou oughtest therefore to have put my money to the exchangers, and then at my coming I should have received mine own with usury. Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents. For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath. And cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Luke 19:11-27 -- And as they heard these things, he added and spake a parable, because he was nigh to Jerusalem, and because they thought that the kingdom of God should immediately appear. He said therefore, A certain nobleman went into a far country to receive for himself a kingdom, and to return. And he called his ten servants, and delivered them ten pounds, and said unto them, Occupy till I come. But his citizens hated him, and sent a message after him, saying, We will not have this man to reign over us. And it came to pass, that when he was returned, having received the kingdom, then he commanded these servants to be called unto him, to whom he had given the money, that he might know how much every man had gained by trading. Then came the first, saying, Lord, thy pound hath gained ten pounds. And he said unto him, Well, thou good servant: because thou hast been faithful in a very little, have thou authority over ten cities. And the second came, saying, Lord, thy pound hath gained five pounds. And he said likewise to him, Be thou also over five cities. And another came, saying, Lord, behold, here is thy pound, which I have kept laid up in a napkin: For I feared thee, because thou art an austere man: thou takest up that thou layedst not down, and reapest that thou didst not sow. And he saith unto him, Out of thine own mouth will I judge thee, thou wicked servant. Thou knewest that I was an austere man, taking up that I laid not down, and reaping that I did not sow: Wherefore then gavest not thou my money into the bank, that at my coming I might have required mine own with usury? And he said unto them that stood by, Take from him the pound, and give it to him that hath ten pounds. (And they said unto him, Lord, he hath ten pounds.) For I say unto you, That unto every one which hath shall be given; and from him that hath not, even that he hath shall be taken away from him. But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me.
In the Gospel of Matthew a talent comes from the Greek word ταλαντον (talanton) which is worth about 60 minas of gold. As explained below a mina is worth about $25,515 so 60 of them is about $1,530,960 right about now. Five talents would then be worth $7,654,800.

The word pound in the Greek text of Luke is μνα (mna) which is equivalent to 567 grams of gold. At recent prices a gram of gold is approximately $45. So one pound in Luke is worth $25,515. Multiply that figure by 10 for the man who had ten pounds. We are not talking about an insignificant amount of money.
Revelation 21:18-21 -- And the building of the wall of it was of jasper: and the city was pure gold, like unto clear glass. And the foundations of the wall of the city were garnished with all manner of precious stones. The first foundation was jasper; the second, sapphire; the third, a chalcedony; the fourth, an emerald; The fifth, sardonyx; the sixth, sardius; the seventh, chrysolite; the eighth, beryl; the ninth, a topaz; the tenth, a chrysoprasus; the eleventh, a jacinth; the twelfth, an amethyst. And the twelve gates were twelve pearls; every several gate was of one pearl: and the street of the city was pure gold, as it were transparent glass.


YiJC, BS

II Peter 1:4 -- Whereby are giuen vnto vs exceeding great and precious promises, that by these you might bee partakers of thy diuine nature, hauing escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.
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Default Re: EMERGENCY MISSION TO JAPAN - 03-25-2011, 08:04 PM

Brother James, our Godly Brother Bible Student has offered some sage advice.

If I might be so bold as to add this thought: Nips are really big into gold fillings and gold teeth. I suggest you conduct an oral inspection upon their arrival. Keep careful notes. Act accordingly as circumstances dictate and/or your "out-of-pocket" spikes upward.


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It's Pink! It's Pink! is offline
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Default Re: EMERGENCY MISSION TO JAPAN - 03-26-2011, 01:19 PM

idea!!!!

We can buy anti-radiation drugz n medicine then bring it over!!!

BUT they have 2 pay for it n read the Bible b4 they can get their nippy hands on it LOL n u kill 2 birds with 1 stone?? or three rofl


ι киσω тнαт ι'м α ρɾďṉсεṡṡ
му fαтнєя ιѕ тнє ќďṉģ σf ќďṉģṡ!
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Default Re: EMERGENCY MISSION TO JAPAN - 03-26-2011, 02:02 PM

ι киσω тнαт ι'м α ρɾďṉсεṡṡ
му fαтнєя ιѕ тнє ќďṉģ σf ќďṉģṡ!

JESUS! Did some homer! slip alkyhol into my non-alcoholic beer last night when I went out to Witness and Testify! I say, JESUS!!!
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Default Re: EMERGENCY MISSION TO JAPAN - 03-26-2011, 04:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by It's Pink! View Post
idea!!!!

We can buy anti-radiation drugz n medicine then bring it over!!!

BUT they have 2 pay for it n read the Bible b4 they can get their nippy hands on it LOL n u kill 2 birds with 1 stone?? or three rofl
From the mouths of babes! The free market and witnessing for Jesus at the same time? Yes!


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1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
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