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View Poll Results: How Much Do You Love Jesus?
Strong Christian -- 100% convinced that God/Jesus exists, so I follow the whole Bible, word-for-word. 10,110,719 99.99%
False Christian -- Fairly sure that God/Jesus exist, but I pick and choose which parts of the Bible to obey. 52 0.00%
Weak Christian -- I used to attend church, but I've forgotten about God/Jesus. 53 0.00%
False God worshiper -- I love God, just the wrong one. 64 0.00%
Agnostic Christian -- I need God/Jesus to bitchslap me before I'll love Him. 145 0.00%
Atheist Scum -- I hate God/Jesus and would rather worship monkeys. 911 0.01%
I'm a queer. What's god? 66 0.00%
Voters: 10112010. You may not vote on this poll

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(#101)
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Pastor Isaac Peters's Avatar
Pastor Isaac Peters Pastor Isaac Peters is offline
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Default Re: Are You an Atheist? - 04-30-2009, 08:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by eventhescore View Post
I thought Christians were suppose to be open minded and excepting.
Book, chapter, and verse, please.

Quote:
And I also thought you guys were suppose to spread the word of God to the ignorant, not discourage them by laghing at them... Oh the hypocrasy!
At some point, we have to give up.

Matt. 10:14: And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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(#102)
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Brother Temperance's Avatar
Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
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Default Re: Are You an Atheist? - 04-30-2009, 11:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by eventhescore View Post
Ok... let me get this right. Your better than lichkang, but you mock him.
Of course. What do you suggest? We should mock people who are wise and Godly? We should look up to people who aren't as good as us?
Quote:
And I also thought you guys were suppose to spread the word of God to the ignorant, not discourage them by laghing at them...
The point is to discourage them. Their current course is damning them to eternal Hellfire, so we mock them to discourage them from making that deathstyle choice. Once that's been done, they can be Saved.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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(#103)
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
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Default Re: Are You an Atheist? - 04-30-2009, 11:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by eventhescore View Post
I thought Christians were suppose to be open minded and excepting.
We are "excepting" friend. We accept everyone except unsaved scum, just as Jesus commands.

What grade are you in? Does your father know about you and your fag boyfriend "Lipchanz?"


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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(#104)
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pitlicker pitlicker is offline
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Default Re: Are You an Atheist? - 05-10-2009, 10:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
You can't prove that the Bible is wrong.
you cant prove it right either
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(#105)
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Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
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One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Default Re: Are You an Atheist? - 05-10-2009, 10:46 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by pitviper1080 View Post
you cant prove it right either
Wrong again, butterscotch.



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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pitlicker pitlicker is offline
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Default Re: Are You an Atheist? - 05-10-2009, 10:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
We are "excepting" friend. We accept everyone except unsaved scum, just as Jesus commands.

What grade are you in? Does your father know about you and your fag boyfriend "Lipchanz?"
Ezekiel. if jesus said jump off a bridge knowing you will die would you do it.

i certainly know nobody can follow their religion to a state where is will take ur life by suicide
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(#107)
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
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One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Are You an Atheist? - 05-10-2009, 10:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by pitlicker View Post
Ezekiel. if jesus said jump off a bridge knowing you will die would you do it.

i certainly know nobody can follow their religion to a state where is will take ur life by suicide
Of course I would! Any True Christian™ would follow an order given by Christ. That's what we do! When He ordered Abraham to bind and slay his own son as a sacrifice to Him, Abrahan said "Sir, Yes Sir!"

BTW: When Jesus tells you to jump of a bridge, that isn't suicide.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Are You an Atheist? - 05-10-2009, 11:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Wrong again, butterscotch.

if you use Youtube as a referance i can use one aswell their evidance right their. i suggest u watch this video and not delete my post i post valid evidance as do you.

so how dose it end? my evidance is hard evidance right out of the bible.

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/lI7TmP8Rsw4&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/lI7TmP8Rsw4&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
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(#109)
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Ezekiel Bathfire's Avatar
Ezekiel Bathfire Ezekiel Bathfire is offline
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Default Re: Are You an Atheist? - 05-10-2009, 11:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by pitlicker View Post
Ezekiel. if jesus said jump off a bridge knowing you will die would you do it.
Psalms:91:9: Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;
Psalms:91:10: There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.
Psalms:91:11: For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.
Psalms:91:12: They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.

Thus you see that Jesus would not allow the death of Pastor Ezekiel, and thus that jumping off a bridge at Jesus' command is quite safe.

Quote:
i certainly know nobody can follow their religion to a state where is will take ur life by suicide
I can't understand that.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
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One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Default Re: Are You an Atheist? - 05-10-2009, 11:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by pitlicker View Post
if you use Youtube as a referance i can use one aswell their evidance right their. i suggest u watch this video and not delete my post i post valid evidance as do you.

so how dose it end? my evidance is hard evidance right out of the bible.
I used a video that offers Bible-based incontrovertible PROOF that God is real. I thought it would be simpler for you than referring you directly to the Holy Bible, being the simpleton that you are.

Seriously, are you mentally disabled? I can barely make you what you're trying to say here.

Quote:
Originally Posted by pitlicker View Post
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/lI7TmP8Rsw4&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/lI7TmP8Rsw4&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
This demonic gibberish is proof of nothing other than the fact that you take orders directly from your father satan.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Are You an Atheist? - 05-10-2009, 05:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by pitlicker View Post
i certainly know nobody can follow their religion to a state where is will take ur life by suicide
Have you ever heard of Muslims? They follow their religion to a state where they take their lives by suicide bombing all the time!


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Are You an Atheist? - 05-10-2009, 11:29 PM

I love how everyone likes to think you christians are without any blame here you go a christian suicide bomber

http://www.martinrothonline.com/Chri...ide_bomber.htm
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Default Re: Are You an Atheist? - 05-10-2009, 11:47 PM

You got that one wrong - they're slants. As far as I can see in Landover archives, there never have been any True Christian™ slants.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: Are You an Atheist? - 05-20-2009, 06:51 PM

An atheist was walking through the woods.

'What majestic trees!
'What powerful rivers!
'What beautiful animals!
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river,he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer.

He tripped and fell on the ground.

He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him...

At that instant the Atheist cried out,
'Oh my God!'

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.

'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?'

'Am I to count you as a believer?'

The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'?

'Very well,' said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke:

'For what I am about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful, RAmen.'


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Default Re: Are You an Atheist? - 05-20-2009, 09:46 PM

Well I just saw this poll and I have to say that while I can read the choices and understand that they are all in good American, I can't really understand the most of them. I've found that among the tens of thousands of folk who call themselves Christians that I have known personally (I used to be a traveling evangelist, praise Jesus), 99% actually live their lives between numbers two and three, with the net effect that they live as if God did not actually exist. Perhaps they do need to be bitchslapped.

But who would honestly choose the last three? Frankly, I'd be afraid to be near anyone blaspheming the Holy Spirit like that. They are honestly going to split Hell wide open when they go!

Thank God I am a True Christian ™.

In Christ,
Warren
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Default Re: Are You an Atheist? - 05-21-2009, 12:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Warren Wierdsbe View Post
I've found that among the tens of thousands of folk who call themselves Christians that I have known personally (I used to be a traveling evangelist, praise Jesus), 99% actually live their lives between numbers two and three, with the net effect that they live as if God did not actually exist. Perhaps they do need to be bitchslapped.
I completely agree with your points. If anything, the number of people who claim to be "True Christians" is growing each day by the hundreds. It is quite frankly unbelievable.

And on a good note, the bitchslap is the least they deserve for what they are doing .
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Default Re: Are You an Atheist? - 05-25-2009, 02:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
It goes without saying that every True Christian™ loves Jesus with all their heart and soul. I would invite them to describe in detail the manifestations of that love.

Yes I must say, me and Jesus go waaaay back. A long time ago, when I first started attending church at the age of 3, my pastor convinced me that it was easily possible to directly communicate with Jesus! He told me with enough practice I to would be able to talk to Jesus, like the pastor himself, but until that day, there were ways in which I could alternatively talk to Jesus; clutching the genitals of the pastor, and asking Jesus any question I wanted the answer of.

That was the beginning of my extraordinary relationship with Jesus himself. Rather than going into the minute details I will skip ahead to present day, in order to describe how this relationship has panned out.

Me and Jesus, you see, we live in a relatively nice house, and we have a nice family: fourteen puppies and an alligator, the alligator's name is Björgólfur Thor Björgólfsson. Enough though, of our personal lives, I shall answer the question asked of in the opening post.

Our love, goes deep, deep inside of each other(you could say he is in me at times). We enjoy cuddling up next to the fireplace next to
Björgólfur Thor Björgólfsson and our puppies. As time goes by, we realize our inner identity... do not fear the reaper, devil don't fear the reaper, nor the sun wind or rain.

Then I got pregnat with a chupcabra and Jesus dumped me for another frog
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Default Re: Are You an Atheist? - 05-25-2009, 07:40 PM

Okay well I'm just going to comment on how stupid this pole is. First of all, Agnostics are NOT Christians. And Athiests are NOT 'scum'. I thought you religious people were taught not to judge? I guess i was wrong to assume that. I have never thought that you Christians were scum and yet you call athiests scum? This is why i have such doubt in the christan society.

Note: Athiesm does not meen that you hate god or jesus. It meens that you beleive in NOTHING. It's that simple. You beleive in NOTHING.

Stop filling your followers minds with sludge.

~Truth
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Default Re: Are You an Atheist? - 05-25-2009, 07:48 PM

Just to point out I'm Agnostic. I am not an Agnostic Christan. I am Agnostic.

Just read the first few lines of this wiki and you will be able to tell what it really is.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agnostic
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Angry Re: Are You an Atheist? - 05-25-2009, 08:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by I am Truth View Post
Okay well I'm just going to comment on how stupid this pole is. First of all, Agnostics are NOT Christians. And Athiests are NOT 'scum'. I thought you religious people were taught not to judge? I guess i was wrong to assume that. I have never thought that you Christians were scum and yet you call athiests scum? This is why i have such doubt in the christan society.

Note: Athiesm does not meen that you hate god or jesus. It meens that you beleive in NOTHING. It's that simple. You beleive in NOTHING.

Stop filling your followers minds with sludge.

~Truth
First off, your name should be Hellbound Liar!

Second, ALL atheists (and "agnostics"- they're the same thing as atheists) hate God! Why else would they want to abolish the tax-free status of True Christian™ churches and stop the foolish extremely necessary practice of overtithing, hmmmmm?!?!?!!! Answer that, atheist SCUM!!!

Third, YOU'RE the one filling peoples' mind with sludge about a false version of God! Maybe you should take some of your own advice, hypocrite atheist!!!



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