The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
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Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,730
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Hotel Motel Holiday SIN: confessions of a (s)innkeeper WAS: Hello, True Christians -
12-20-2018, 10:14 PM
Greetings True Christians™. My name is Dennis Lukes, and I'm thrilled to finally be a member of this Godly forum, praise Jesus!
I've visited your site a number of times to read up on the news of the day from an unbiased, Christian perspective. Aside from that, the only thing I read is the 1611 King James Bible.
In answer to your question, my favorite verse is Matthew 21:17. "And he left them, and went out of the city into Bethany; and he lodged there." You see, I run a motor inn (or "motel," to use the vulgar phrase) on the outskirts of Podunk, Nebraska. People can "lodge there" for the night, but you wouldn't believe the things I have to put up with. I can't count the number of times I've had to get my rifle and chase out unmarried couples or even, forgive my language, homosexuals, attempting to use my Godly rooms for the purposes of fornication and sodomy. Needless to say, there is a complementary KJV1611 Bible in every nightstand.
I attend the Bible Baptist Church in Podunk. Our pastor has recently been called to his reward and we have yet to receive a replacement, so I was hoping your forum would fill the church-shaped hole in my life, if you'll have me. I may be designated "Unsaved Trash" right now by your wise pastors, but I'm eager to prove myself to the members of God's favorite church!
Yours in Christ,
Dennis Lukes
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Forum member
Forum Member
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Posts: 781
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: The greatest country in the world - United States!
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Re: Hello, True Christians -
12-21-2018, 02:58 AM
You seem to be a well built, handsome, and virile man! How many sons have you fathered with your wife?
Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
1 Corinthians 11:13
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Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,730
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Location: Not hacked by Mossad
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Re: Hello, True Christians -
12-21-2018, 03:20 AM
Thank you for the compliment, ma'am. The Lord granted me a rockin' bod, and I've done my best to glorify His gift to me by keeping it up over the years.
To answer your question, my lovely wife Doris has given me three sons (and two girls, but I'm not sure whether they count).
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Re: Hello, True Christians -
12-21-2018, 05:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes
The Lord granted me a rockin' bod,
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Ahem.
Jeremiah 9:23
23 This is what the LORD says: “Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches,
1 Timothy 4:8 For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come
Some more verses on pride:
Isaiah 2:12, James 4:6, Proverbs 8:13, Proverbs 11:2, Proverbs 13:10, Proverbs 16:5, Proverbs 16:18, Proverbs 18:12, Proverbs 26:12, Proverbs 27:2, Proverbs 29:23, Romans 12:3, 1 Corinthians 13:4, Daniel 5:20
For your homework I am assigning you to report back on what the Bible says about innkeepers, and what sort of sins they are most prone to.
Right off the top of my head I'm thinking of the jerk who sent Joseph and Mary to sleep in a manger. The Kingdom Of Heaven is not first come first served!
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
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Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,730
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Not hacked by Mossad
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Re: Hello, True Christians -
12-21-2018, 05:25 AM
Mr. Thurmond, Genesis 42 speaks of Jacob's sons travelling to an inn, and they must be wary lest their money is stolen. And the innkeeper who sent away the unborn Jesus was a Jew. He has gone down in history as the first person to spit in Jesus's face, before He was even born! That wicked man brought shame upon my profession. At the Blood of Christ Motel, I strive to rectify that mistake, for surely he is burning in Hell right this second.
If Jesus showed up, you'd better believe he'd get the suite. Or, better yet, I would give him my home, and I would stay in one of my humble rooms. However, my establishment has a mere one star, whereas a hundred Waldorf-Astorias wouldn't be good enough for Christ Jesus. Christians are given a discount here, and if there are no vacancies, I will evict non-Christians from the premises to make room.
And forgive me but I was merely complimenting the Lord for my body. He made it, not me. I can take no credit, for to do so would be blasphemous. If I were to compliment you on your rugged, masculine beard, I would be doing so in the interest of glorifying God and His works, not implying it is your achievement like you evolved it from a monkey, or whatever those atheists believe.
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Re: Hello, True Christians -
12-21-2018, 05:42 AM
Bless your soul, but I know a humblebrag when I see it.
We have been working on a commentary for Genesis 42 here, perhaps you could add your unique perspective.
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
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Preserving Freehold's dead for Christ's return
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Posts: 263
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: On my knees before Jesus
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Re: Hello, True Christians -
12-21-2018, 11:46 AM
Hi Dennis. Welcome to the forum. I'm rather impressed by your introduction. It's refreshing to see someone who can read and follow simple instructions.
You would, however, be wise to heed Brother Jeb's rebuke. It's okay for a Christian to boast in their weaknesses, but not in their strengths (II Corinthians 12:9). We could also add the following verse to Brother Jeb's list above.
Proverbs 28:25 He that is of a proud heart stirreth up strife: but he that putteth his trust in the Lord shall be made fat.
If you're humble and put your trust in the Lord, you'll probably lose your "rockin' bod." I'm a living testimony to the truthfulness of God's Word.
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Re: Hello, True Christians -
12-21-2018, 03:03 PM
Well, it's got to be morning in Nebraska by now, if I understand flat-earth theory. If you behaved correctly, you should have had a Long Dark Night Of The Soul, meditating on your nature as a braggart-in-meek-clothing, and of course the sins of your innkeeping forefathers.
I have hope for you, after all, the LORD met Moses at an Inn (Exodus 4:24). (But then maybe they were the first ones there.)
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
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Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,730
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Re: Hello, True Christians -
12-21-2018, 09:56 PM
Mr. Thurmond,
I have indeed spent the night in prayer, leafing through the pages of my KJV1611 Bible, and apologizing to Jesus for my pride.
Thank you for your diligence in pointing out my transgression, thus possibly saving me from Hellfire.
If you're ever passing through Podunk, consider stopping by at the Blood of Christ Motel (at a discounted rate, of course). I can say this without an ounce of sinful pride: we may not be the most picturesque motel in the area, nor the cleanest, nor the one with the most amenenities, but we are the most faith-based motel in the county! No Christian will ever be turned away from MY inn.
In Christ,
Dennis Lukes
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 322
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Republic of Alaska (NOT the U.S.A.!)
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Re: Hello, True Christians -
12-22-2018, 04:09 AM
At risk of turning this thread into an infomercial, why would anyone want to be in neckbeardbraska in the first place? No polar bears to shoot, no salmon to blow up, no Russians to watch, Canadian health care not within stumbling distance, no hope of a successful secession movement...
Also, I have to ask, if three weird coots from Iran or worse show up and say they want to come in and give perfume to kids, would you at least do a background check or a pat down or something?
You say you're repentant about the sins of your profession, but I think you've only had a Quick dim evening of the soul so far.
#forevertrump: Supporter of The Donald as president-for-life! #MAGAlomaniac!
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Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,730
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Re: Hello, True Christians -
12-22-2018, 07:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sally Paulson
At risk of turning this thread into an infomercial, why would anyone want to be in neckbeardbraska in the first place?
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Ma'am, there are many Godly Christians between Freehold, Iowa and the eastern border of Commiefornia. Some of them make pilgrimages to your Landover Baptist Church and some even stay at my inn on the way! That was how I learned about your Godly forum! Furthermore, it is quite a Godly and Republican state with wide open rural spaces, much like our brother to the east Iowa!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sally Paulson
Also, I have to ask, if three weird coots from Iran or worse show up and say they want to come in and give perfume to kids, would you at least do a background check or a pat down or something?
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If three terrorists arrived at my establishment, I assure you I would hold them at rifle-point and contact the Department of Homeland Security to have them detained and sent to Gitmo.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sally Paulson
You say you're repentant about the sins of your profession, but I think you've only had a Quick dim evening of the soul so far.
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I continue to pray for the good Lord's guidance on my quest for salvation.
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Posts: 8,762
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
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Re: Hello, True Christians -
12-22-2018, 07:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes
If three terrorists arrived at my establishment, I assure you I would hold them at rifle-point and contact the Department of Homeland Security to have them detained and sent to Gitmo.
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That won't do you much good while the department's shut down, Mr Lukes. Do you have a backup plan?
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,730
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Not hacked by Mossad
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Re: Hello, True Christians -
12-22-2018, 07:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey
Do you have a backup plan?
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The county sheriff is a Republican and fellow attendee at the Baptist Bible Church. I'd place a call to him instead. He's arrested a number of dangerous types for me over the years. Strangely, I never hear about them being charged on the local FOX affiliate BMFK. The sheriff just says he has his clan take care of them. Unusual phrase, considering that his family is far too small to be considered a "clan," but that's what he said, and the problems always disappear. I'm sure the various negroes and beaners are all hanging out somewhere, doing nothing useful.
Have a blessed day!
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Re: Hello, True Christians -
01-03-2019, 03:43 PM
You are making progress. I like how when I ate that chocolate coin with the tin wrapper still on, you pretended not to notice.
My only issue (with you as an individual, not with the hospitality industry in general, whose sins are legion) is the issue of hatefulness. We make it clear that while God Hates With Perfect Hatred (Psalm 139:22) we are not the originators of His Divine Hate - we are just the messengers. While we ourselves hate sin itself with perfect hatred, vengeance is not ours to take by ourselves: Vengeance belongs to the LORD: Deuteronomy 32:35.
Sinners need to understand that their problem is not with us, their problem is with the LORD.
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!
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Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,730
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Not hacked by Mossad
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Re: Hello, True Christians -
01-03-2019, 05:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond
You are making progress. I like how when I ate that chocolate coin with the tin wrapper still on, you pretended not to notice.
My only issue (with you as an individual, not with the hospitality industry in general, whose sins are legion) is the issue of hatefulness. We make it clear that while God Hates With Perfect Hatred (Psalm 139:22) we are not the originators of His Divine Hate - we are just the messengers. While we ourselves hate sin itself with perfect hatred, vengeance is not ours to take by ourselves: Vengeance belongs to the LORD: Deuteronomy 32:35.
Sinners need to understand that their problem is not with us, their problem is with the LORD.
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I see. I have tried to follow the commandments of the Lord in my posts, but have neglected to use proper citations to glorify God and credit His word for the things I say. In the future, I will remember John 14:6.
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Re: Hello, True Christians -
01-08-2019, 07:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond
My only issue (with you as an individual, not with the hospitality industry in general, whose sins are legion) is the issue of hatefulness.
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I know that you have been reading our older content, but you have to keep in mind that we wrote much of that under Obama's Kenyan Occupation, when the right was old and dying, so we were very angry.
We gained a reputation for being humorless:
But now Trump has Made America Great Again, and the ALT-Right has proven the right can be young and hip. It's causing a subtle change of style, a more relaxed, confident, catch-more-souls-with-honey-than-with-vinegar attitude.
It's subtle. You do subtle, right?
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Hotel Motel Holiday SIN: confessions of a (s)innkeeper WAS: Hello, True Christians -
01-08-2019, 08:54 PM
While I travel a great deal, I always bring my own bed to lie in. Unless I am staying at one of my condos or apartments.
Proverbs 1-17
1 The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel;
2 To know wisdom and instruction; to perceive the words of understanding;
3 To receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, and equity;
4 To give subtilty to the simple, to the young man knowledge and discretion.
5 A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:
6 To understand a proverb, and the interpretation; the words of the wise, and their dark sayings.
7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
8 My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:
9 For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.
10 My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not.
11 If they say, Come with us, let us lay wait for blood, let us lurk privily for the innocent without cause:
12 Let us swallow them up alive as the grave; and whole, as those that go down into the pit:
13 We shall find all precious substance, we shall fill our houses with spoil:
14 Cast in thy lot among us; let us all have one purse:
15 My son, walk not thou in the way with them; refrain thy foot from their path:
16 For their feet run to evil, and make haste to shed blood.
17 Surely in vain the net is spread in the sight of any bird.
18 And they lay wait for their own blood; they lurk privily for their own lives.
19 So are the ways of every one that is greedy of gain; which taketh away the life of the owners thereof.
20 Wisdom crieth without; she uttereth her voice in the streets:
21 She crieth in the chief place of concourse, in the openings of the gates: in the city she uttereth her words, saying,
22 How long, ye simple ones, will ye love simplicity? and the scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate knowledge?
23 Turn you at my reproof: behold, I will pour out my spirit unto you, I will make known my words unto you.
24 Because I have called, and ye refused; I have stretched out my hand, and no man regarded;
25 But ye have set at nought all my counsel, and would none of my reproof:
26 I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh;
27 When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you.
28 Then shall they call upon me, but I will not answer; they shall seek me early, but they shall not find me:
29 For that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the Lord:
30 They would none of my counsel: they despised all my reproof.
31 Therefore shall they eat of the fruit of their own way, and be filled with their own devices.
32 For the turning away of the simple shall slay them, and the prosperity of fools shall destroy them.
33 But whoso hearkeneth unto me shall dwell safely, and shall be quiet from fear of evil.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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