[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

I'm thinking a .20 would cause the least damage to whatever is behind it, but while the stopping power will should be enough (with a double-tap) it might send the wrong message and embolden the other crickets. I might be prudent to get the AA-12, empty the clip, and just buy new furniture.

I know there's various gasses, but the cricket is currently under the fridge and I don't want anything to taste funny.

Do Chiwawas (however they spell it) hunt crickets? That might not work, because any dog that's small enough to catch a cricket is also small enough to be eaten by my real dogs.

Edit: I just did some googling, and it looks like crickets might be even more dangerous than I thought. Helmets, gloves....Do crickets have venom?

Also, what a terrible choice of weapon, paddles are for spanking toddlers, not cricket-hunting. She's either a really dumb maid, or her owner is to paranoid to trust her with proper firepower. (The fact that she has knee-pads suggests she's not the kind of maid who does much work standing up)

[Alvin Moss]

Fire will kill them and it can be directed into various areas by using a can of BBQ lighter fluid. It is best to quickly put out the flames, as they will immediately kill the pest, whether it is a cricket, flea, roach or even a spider, but continued flames may do damage to the house or the appliances, especially in the wiring. This method may require a little touch up paint and is not recommended on carpet.

For sport, you may find the use of a BB gun to be both satisfying and efficatious. You can stalk the little beasts and then dispatch them one at a time without alerting the rest by the loud report of a firearm.

[Brother Larry]

I know a nigra who is terrified of crickets. For sport, we used to use a net to catch one and then set it free in his parents' home. It was a source of much merriment and mirth to see him beg the rest of us to let him stay overnight. Of course, none of us could allow that because, well, what would our white neighbors think?

Still, his fear also brought some knowledge of how best to rid the home of these demonic beings. You will need to move the refrigerator carefully so as not to encourage the vile jumping for which they are famous. Once you have the creature in sight, begin to pray in Jesus name for the strength of Samson (Ask our LORD to give you this without the bother of long hair - He will do so if you agree to fast the rest of the day). Now that you've gathered the courage, stomp that little bugger with all your might.

Scrape the remains from your shoe, gather up any remnants from the floor, and attach them to a sign that you will then erect near your door. This serves as a warning to other crickets that you are a Christian man, not a cricket hotel manager. Most of the other crickets are too busy running their cellular telephone company to bother you anyway - but just in case, the sign is a good idea.

[Levi Jones]

I think a 12 gauge with bird shot should do the trick. Just in case it tries to jump away.

[James Hutchins]

I find when I cannot get through with the Holy KJV Bible, to set a few of these off in the room.

[Nobar King]

I don't know whose house it is but you could burn it down.

[SayvedByTheLord]

I prefer a flamethrower.

YIC

[Cranky Old Man]

[Didymus Much]

Scaling it back just a touch, how about paintball? Direct hit should take out any roach or cricket.

Set up a webcam to do a time-lapse thing as the paint layers build up in your kitchen or whatever.

[WWJDnow]

I'm sure the guns will work, but you might give prayer a try, first. Then, if Jesus answers your prayer by telling you to use your gun, lock and load!