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Default Announcement: Ex Negro Achievement Award - 04-11-2021, 02:22 PM

The ex Negro training program at Landover Baptist has been a huge success. Your leaders in the Church and in the City of Freehold thought now would be a good time to reward the best of our graduates. A Committee for the Ex Negro Achievement Award has been meeting and it authorized me to announce this launch. We anticipate this award will be cloned by other communities across the entire country.

The Committee is assembling criteria for the award. These are traits acquired by ex Negroes in their new and improved lives. We need a list of these desirable traits so candidates for the award can be judged accordingly. Here is a partial list of the acquired skills. We invite others in the community to add their favorites.

1.) Dancing: Mastered the waltz, fox trot and polka.

2.) Food: Acquired a taste for potatoes, gravy and beef. No barbeque sauce.

3.) Music: Listen only to white people's music, no rap.

4.) Politics: Voted for the white Donald Trump.

5.) Religion: Mastered attending church services without clapping, dancing, swinging the body, tapping the foot or singing loudly.

After others have added their requirements to the Award the Committee will accept nominations. Thank you for your participation in this community effort.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Announcement: Ex Negro Achievement Award - 04-11-2021, 02:43 PM

If I may make a few recommendations, I would like to mention that the ideal white folk I’ve come to get to know around Freehold have a great appreciation for golfing, ensuring that Splenda (not pure sugar) and half & half (not heavy cream) is in ones’ coffee, and wearing appropriate white peoples attire (polo shirt and khakis for men) and long conservative dresses for the women. I myself have practiced the fine art of finding those perfect pairs of blue boating shoes. Gotta keep up that boycott of Nike for Jesus you see.
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Default Re: Announcement: Ex Negro Achievement Award - 04-11-2021, 03:20 PM

There is no mention here of "the taming of the hair". Hair is a big identifier for negroes. I realize that blond and silky is out of the question, but there is so much that negroes committed to self-improvement can do to adapt.

Here are a few guidelines:

No dreadlocks, obviously

Those elaborate braids are out. The Apostle Paul makes this point clear in 1 Timothy 2:9. Not only are the braids themselves wrong, but all those beads and shells attached to them? If I want a beaded curtain swung in my face, I'll visit a hippie commune, thank you very much.

Close cut "natural hair" on women. Women are supposed to have long hair. Paul also made that pretty clear.

High hair on men or women. Hair growing upwards to heaven is an obvious affront to The Lord. Look what happened when people tried to build a tower too high. Genesis 11: 1-9. Hair that is filled with a little puffiness is acceptable, but only when it looks like this:





And not like this:




I think that the difference is clear. The one young lady looks cute and approachable. The other is obviously a dangerous radical.

To those who think they can be True Christians™ and still flout masses of untamed hair, let me remind you that one of the Bible's most abiding messages is about self-control and submission. If you can't control your hair, how do you expect to conform to God's Perfect Word?


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

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Default Re: Announcement: Ex Negro Achievement Award - 04-11-2021, 05:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
There is no mention here of "the taming of the hair". Hair is a big identifier for negroes. I realize that blond and silky is out of the question, but there is so much that negroes committed to self-improvement can do to adapt.

Here are a few guidelines:

No dreadlocks, obviously

Those elaborate braids are out. The Apostle Paul makes this point clear in 1 Timothy 2:9. Not only are the braids themselves wrong, but all those beads and shells attached to them? If I want a beaded curtain swung in my face, I'll visit a hippie commune, thank you very much.

Close cut "natural hair" on women. Women are supposed to have long hair. Paul also made that pretty clear.

High hair on men or women. Hair growing upwards to heaven is an obvious affront to The Lord. Look what happened when people tried to build a tower too high. Genesis 11: 1-9. Hair that is filled with a little puffiness is acceptable, but only when it looks like this:



And not like this:



I think that the difference is clear. The one young lady looks cute and approachable. The other is obviously a dangerous radical.

To those who think they can be True Christians™ and still flout masses of untamed hair, let me remind you that one of the Bible's most abiding messages is about self-control and submission. If you can't control your hair, how do you expect to conform to God's Perfect Word?
Oh, this is such an excellent example, dear Sister Handmaiden, and I do thank you for showcasing this. You are entirely correct!

Why look like a savage, native woman, as seen in the first photo, when one could look refined, instead, as in the second photo?
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Jesus Re: Announcement: Ex Negro Achievement Award - 04-11-2021, 05:56 PM

I am always impressed when a nigra sheds that coating of blackness and becomes pure and near White. While I know they will never actually go to Heaven (can you imagine, a nigra... in Heaven!!!)
It is good to know that our women have a lesser chance of being raped and pies being stolen.

Even I, a 6'6" 240 pound man with a 2% body fat am glad I can walk around a little more relaxed, what with not having to keep my hand on my H&K as much or have it constantly cocked.
God can do miracles, if you let Him!


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Announcement: Ex Negro Achievement Award - 04-11-2021, 07:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
There is no mention here of "the taming of the hair". Hair is a big identifier for negroes. I realize that blond and silky is out of the question, but there is so much that negroes committed to self-improvement can do to adapt.

Here are a few guidelines:

No dreadlocks, obviously

Those elaborate braids are out. The Apostle Paul makes this point clear in 1 Timothy 2:9. Not only are the braids themselves wrong, but all those beads and shells attached to them? If I want a beaded curtain swung in my face, I'll visit a hippie commune, thank you very much.

Close cut "natural hair" on women. Women are supposed to have long hair. Paul also made that pretty clear.

High hair on men or women. Hair growing upwards to heaven is an obvious affront to The Lord.
An example of a ex Negro who will not receive the award is boxing promoter Don King. In some ways he has been successful in becoming white, he is rich, he hangs around with white bankers, but his hair. This is not a Christian white male:



By comparison, take a look at the well coiffured Albert Einstein:





Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Watermelon Re: Announcement: Ex Negro Achievement Award - 04-11-2021, 07:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
The ex Negro training program at Landover Baptist has been a huge success. Your leaders in the Church and in the City of Freehold thought now would be a good time to reward the best of our graduates. A Committee for the Ex Negro Achievement Award has been meeting and it authorized me to announce this launch. We anticipate this award will be cloned by other communities across the entire country.

The Committee is assembling criteria for the award. These are traits acquired by ex Negroes in their new and improved lives. We need a list of these desirable traits so candidates for the award can be judged accordingly. Here is a partial list of the acquired skills. We invite others in the community to add their favorites.

1.) Dancing: Mastered the waltz, fox trot and polka.

2.) Food: Acquired a taste for potatoes, gravy and beef. No barbeque sauce.

3.) Music: Listen only to white people's music, no rap.

4.) Politics: Voted for the white Donald Trump.

5.) Religion: Mastered attending church services without clapping, dancing, swinging the body, tapping the foot or singing loudly.

After others have added their requirements to the Award the Committee will accept nominations. Thank you for your participation in this community effort.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Rutherford View Post
If I may make a few recommendations, I would like to mention that the ideal white folk I’ve come to get to know around Freehold have a great appreciation for golfing, ensuring that Splenda (not pure sugar) and half & half (not heavy cream) is in ones’ coffee, and wearing appropriate white peoples attire (polo shirt and khakis for men) and long conservative dresses for the women. I myself have practiced the fine art of finding those perfect pairs of blue boating shoes. Gotta keep up that boycott of Nike for Jesus you see.
Oh, my word; this is such a worthwhile project, dear Brother Mayor Hold. And, I am so happy to see that our very own Mr. Rutherford is participating in this.

As for Item No. 2, regarding food, one wonders if we might include something about the overwhelming preference that those people have, for watermelon. Yes, watermelon. When I went to the Piggly Wiggly last week, there were none to be had. I was told that "certain people" had raided the store, and that the entire stock of watermelons was off to picnic grounds somewhere.

Even when they are not making watermelon a mainstay of their diet, they are obsessed with it, including times when they are joking, as you shall see below. Surely, something can be done about this most grievous and regrettable atrocity?





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Default Re: Announcement: Ex Negro Achievement Award - 04-11-2021, 08:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella White View Post
Oh, my word; this is such a worthwhile project, dear Brother Mayor Hold. And, I am so happy to see that our very own Mr. Rutherford is participating in this.

As for Item No. 2, regarding food, one wonders if we might include something about the overwhelming preference that those people have, for watermelon. Yes, watermelon. When I went to the Piggly Wiggly last week, there were none to be had. I was told that "certain people" had raided the store, and that the entire stock of watermelons was off to picnic grounds somewhere.

Even when they are not making watermelon a mainstay of their diet, they are obsessed with it, including times when they are joking, as you shall see below. Surely, something can be done about this most grievous and regrettable atrocity?

Watermelon is known as a tropical fruit with its origins in Africa, so it’s no surprise how it fuels the average Nigra to behave more irrationally than they normally do. As one who has dedicated his life to resisting the Nigra mentality and instead decided to study them for most of my life, it is still a mystery to me. Seeing as how they behave irrationally and sometimes violent around the fruit like they’re possessed by Satan, I have abstained from such devil’s fruit. Instead, I have learned how to partake in and enjoy unseasoned potato salad. Keeps me energized while not bein a misbehaving’ Nigra.
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Default Re: Announcement: Ex Negro Achievement Award - 04-12-2021, 08:57 PM

If ex Negroes are seen with water melons it would be prudent to have the purchase receipt handy. We white people make certain assumptions and a receipt should put the matter to rest.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Announcement: Ex Negro Achievement Award - 04-13-2021, 12:10 AM

It always brings a tear in my eye when someone leaves the dark side and goes into the light!


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To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
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Watermelon Re: Announcement: Ex Negro Achievement Award - 04-13-2021, 12:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
If ex Negroes are seen with water melons it would be prudent to have the purchase receipt handy. We white people make certain assumptions and a receipt should put the matter to rest.
Oh, yes -- this is most certain, dear Brother Mayor Hold. When in doubt, ask for the receipt. That should be enough to end any dispute. Mind you, some of "those people" are so crafty that they will find a way around this, such as by saying they already owned the watermelon, and then came into the store with it in their possession!





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Default Re: Announcement: Ex Negro Achievement Award - 04-13-2021, 12:20 PM

As an ex-nigroid myself, I want to congratulate the Mayor and everyone involved in this initiative. This is the incentive nigroes need to thrive: the possibility of being white, it is their dream since they are born!


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Default Re: Announcement: Ex Negro Achievement Award - 04-13-2021, 03:18 PM

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Originally Posted by Brother Gonzalez View Post
As an ex-nigroid myself, I want to congratulate the Mayor and everyone involved in this initiative. This is the incentive nigroes need to thrive: the possibility of being white, it is their dream since they are born!
I have to admit I'm a bit concerned by some ex Negroes. Thank goodness you, Brother Gonzalez, are not one of those I'm concerned about. I'll be really disappointed if our reward winner turns his or her celebrity status into an enterprise that competes with Pastor Zeke and Landover Baptist.

Specifically, I'm thinking of Creflo Dollar. Creflo is a graduate of some other ex Negro program. He studied Pastor Zeke's sermons and fund raising techniques until he master them completely. Now Creflo has his own airplane and attracts large numbers of white people to his prosperity gospel sermons.

He even attended remotely or obtained material from Landover Baptist parenting classes. A few years ago he did not like a boy his teenage daughter was seeing and choked and punched her. This was the kind of father leadership Christian white parents admire.

All I'm saying is the award must go to someone who will not use it to compete with Pastor Zeke and Landover Baptist.

Creflo Dollar - Wikipedia


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Bible Re: Announcement: Ex Negro Achievement Award - 04-13-2021, 09:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
I have to admit I'm a bit concerned by some ex Negroes. Thank goodness you, Brother Gonzalez, are not one of those I'm concerned about. I'll be really disappointed if our reward winner turns his or her celebrity status into an enterprise that competes with Pastor Zeke and Landover Baptist.

Specifically, I'm thinking of Creflo Dollar. Creflo is a graduate of some other ex Negro program. He studied Pastor Zeke's sermons and fund raising techniques until he master them completely. Now Creflo has his own airplane and attracts large numbers of white people to his prosperity gospel sermons.

He even attended remotely or obtained material from Landover Baptist parenting classes. A few years ago he did not like a boy his teenage daughter was seeing and choked and punched her. This was the kind of father leadership Christian white parents admire.

All I'm saying is the award must go to someone who will not use it to compete with Pastor Zeke and Landover Baptist.

Creflo Dollar - Wikipedia
Oh, Dear; I only hope that Reverend Creflo remembered to give credit to our beloved (in particular), and (in general), for the outstanding teaching that he had received here.

Ephesians 6:4 "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the ."

I think it's very nice that Creflo was doing his best to prevent his daughter from being entangled with sin, and to avert her from provoking the wrath of Almighty . As you've described so accurately, dear Brother Mayor Hold, he was doing his best to give the discipline when it is needed -- where it is needed!

Proverbs 22:15 "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."




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Default Re: Announcement: Ex Negro Achievement Award - 04-13-2021, 09:53 PM

Is it OK for ex-negroes to marry white women? I don't think I could go along with that.


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Default Re: Announcement: Ex Negro Achievement Award - 04-13-2021, 10:07 PM

(Cough) (cough) I don’t think an ex-negro who finds pleasure in helping Pastor Ezekiel clean his pipes and septic system with a big smile would be any threat to the good Pastor and definitely not Jesus. (Cough) (cough)
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Default Re: Announcement: Ex Negro Achievement Award - 04-13-2021, 10:46 PM

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Originally Posted by Uncle Rutherford View Post
(Cough) (cough) I don’t think an ex-negro who finds pleasure in helping Pastor Ezekiel clean his pipes and septic system with a big smile would be any threat to the good Pastor and definitely not Jesus. (Cough) (cough)
You make a really good point there, Brother Rutherford. An ex Negro who cleans Pastor Zeke's septic system pipes is not traveling around the world in his own airplane passing a collection plate for money that rightfully belongs to Pastor Zeke. We need to keep that in mind as we work through the nomination process and the naming of the award winner.


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African Re: Announcement: Ex Negro Achievement Award - 04-13-2021, 11:20 PM

I often find myself bereft of hope for the Negro race. It's all been downhill since 1865 with those boys. But when I read Uncle Rutherford's humble posts, I'm reminded that here, at least, is ONE coon who gets it. Creflo Dollar, with his ghetto pimp lifestyle, is no different from Jesse, Al, MLK, or any other race hustling "preacher." The true ex-Negroe are ones whose names are completely unknown to the public because they perform their work with a smile and don't complain or cause trouble.


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Default Re: Announcement: Ex Negro Achievement Award - 04-14-2021, 05:27 AM

The Bible explains how, even before they migrated to Africa when there was only a handful of people in the world, a trait for lewdness existed. There were no Africans at the time of course, and whether humans had ever lived there is a moot point in this context, but as they arrived and their population expanded southwards, advances made by Tubalcain (and other members of his family) were lost.

Genesis 4:19-22 And Lamech took unto him two wives: the name of the one was Adah, and the name of the other Zillah. And Adah bare Jabal: he was the father of such as dwell in tents, and of such as have cattle. And his brother's name was Jubal: he was the father of all such as handle the harp and organ. And Zillah, she also bare Tubalcain, an instructer of every artificer in brass and iron: and the sister of Tubalcain was Naamah.

There was indeed a "Narmer" in Egypt which although a part of Africa was not populated by Africans, but by Egyptians. Since they allowed female pharaohs and the two Nile kingdoms were united prior to the first pharaoh, by a day or two, could it be possible that Tubalcain's sister became the first pharaoh? In any event, once pipe organ technology was lost it was never rediscovered and native music still uses other sound generators. Rocks. Drums. Sticks and tube zithers. But no organs.
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Default Re: Announcement: Ex Negro Achievement Award - 04-14-2021, 07:12 AM

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Originally Posted by Uncle Rutherford View Post
(Cough) (cough) I don’t think an ex-negro who finds pleasure in helping Pastor Ezekiel clean his pipes and septic system with a big smile would be any threat to the good Pastor and definitely not Jesus. (Cough) (cough)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
You make a really good point there, Brother Rutherford. An ex Negro who cleans Pastor Zeke's septic system pipes is not traveling around the world in his own airplane passing a collection plate for money that rightfully belongs to Pastor Zeke. We need to keep that in mind as we work through the nomination process and the naming of the award winner.
I do not give praise lightly but this time I must say that I'm mighty pleased with the efforts of Ol' Unca Ruther. Cleaning my septic tanks and pipes is no easy task and requires astonishing amounts of wits, which would be impossible for the common black man and has proved quite hard for some of our own white trashbrethren, such as (let's not mention his full name) F-M-chine. I must also add that I'm very happy that the physical stamina and strength of Unca Ruther has not deteriorated during his darkie recovery process.

However, you have no reason to be complacent. There IS a nasty clog in the complex drainage system of the Flint mansion and I need you here asap.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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