It is every man's
duty to consume
red, heterosexual meat!
Genesis 9:3
Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things.
There are many Created kinds of animals the consumption of which is
endorsed by
Jesus.
Meat is also a good tool to hasten one's entry into the Happy Frolicking Days in
Heaven, as it causes accelerated arterial disease, intestinal cancers (not
rectal, that is caused almost exclusively by
sodomy) and heart disease. Meat can be hunted, purchased from the butcher's or enjoyed in Godly 'burgers.
This is the way things should be.
However, an
alarming development has spread among the God-fearing population of the United States of America. Meat allergy aka the
alpha-gal syndrome! The mechanism of this disease is obscure but it involves tick, tiny spider-like Created kinds, and a
sugar called alpha-gal.
Quote:
the condition usually begins with the bite of the Lone Star tick. The bite transfers a sugar molecule called alpha-gal into the body. In some people, this triggers a reaction from the body's defenses, also called the immune system. It causes mild to severe allergic reactions to red meat, such as beef, pork or lamb.
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This is absolutely
horrific. The patient can no longer fulfill
Jesus's commands and has to restrict his diet to vegetarianism,
i.e.,
anarcho-atheistic-communistic food items. All hope of Salvation™ might have to be discarded because of these six-legged
creeping things called spiders.
Job 8:14
Whose hope shall be cut off, and whose trust shall be a spider's web.
It seems plausible that this shows
Satan's handiwork. By preventing Caucasian Young Heterosexual Men from consuming red meat, He forces them to become
woke, and soon they will discuss tofu, salads, bestest positions to perform sodomy, and
decaffeinated beverages. And THERE IS NO MEDICAL CURE! Thus, it seems that this was
Satan's latest trick to send young Caucasian Heterosexual men to
Hell.
But.
What if. It. Was. Jesus?! At first glance, this seems
impossible. Why would
Jesus cause such havoc on His most ardent followers, meat-eating Caucasian Heterosexual men?! Because there is another, much more sinister group of humans that also consumes meat in abundance, the so-called "
butch Lesbianists".
familiar with pipe renovation, heave machinery, jackhammers and arm wrestling, these
female sodomites consume hundreds of thousands of pounds of meat each month. Now, with the meat allergy, they have to start eating
feminine foods, a light
pasta al fresco or
petit fours. Soon they will find the joys of pettycoats and
telenovelas and start popping out new soldiers (1 Timothy 2:15) for
Christ! Glory.
A dilemma!
Jesus or
Satan! The answer lies in the
Bible. If we look at the scientific name of this disease based on the tongue of ancient Grease,
alpha-gal syndrome, we can see that by naming it after usurping (alpha) females (gal),
Jesus informs us that it is not OK to oust His right to be the
ultimate alpha male of all History.
Revelation 22:13
I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last.
Conclusions:
Micah 6:13
Therefore also will I make thee sick in smiting thee, in making thee desolate because of thy sins.
Remedies:
- For the "butch sodomites" this disease is the remedy.
- For the hundreds of millions of pure-bred Caucasian meat-eating Young Heterosexual Men the remedy is easy, as follows: Prayer. And oil. I prefer motor oil.
James 5:14-16
Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord:
Yours in Christ,
Elmer