The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
Unsaved trash
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Posts: 10
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Hi! Im unsaved trash!! -
10-16-2013, 08:09 AM
greetings everyone! I've been a christian since birth (not that it saves me, I know!) I was baptized in Bath Ohio as a baby, and I guess thats where I came to find jesus. I am currently a member of a small methodist church in the country. My favorite bible verse is where jesus throws the money changers out of the temple in Mark 12:40 and Luke 20:47. I like it because jesus tells it like it is. He tells them that they're thieves and that they're going to hell, and thats usually the only thing that can help a sinner.
I'm here because I love jesus, and I'd like to discuss gods divine word with like-minded christians and learn all that I can about the bible. I may be getting ahead of myself but I hope to some day not be unsaved trash, and I think that this is just the site to help me!
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 10
Join Date: Sep 2011
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Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!! -
10-16-2013, 08:37 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. ant
greetings everyone! I've been a christian since birth (not that it saves me, I know!) I was baptized in Bath Ohio as a baby, and I guess thats where I came to find jesus. I am currently a member of a small methodist church in the country. My favorite bible verse is where jesus throws the money changers out of the temple in Mark 12:40 and Luke 20:47. I like it because jesus tells it like it is. He tells them that they're thieves and that they're going to hell, and thats usually the only thing that can help a sinner.
I'm here because I love jesus, and I'd like to discuss gods divine word with like-minded christians and learn all that I can about the bible. I may be getting ahead of myself but I hope to some day not be unsaved trash, and I think that this is just the site to help me!
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To expand on my favorite bible verse, this might be a little forward, but I just wish with all my heart that god would give me a time machine so I could lend jesus my AK47.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 193
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Godless New Zealand
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Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!! -
10-16-2013, 08:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. ant
greetings everyone! I've been a christian since birth (not that it saves me, I know!) I was baptized in Bath Ohio as a baby, and I guess thats where I came to find jesus. I am currently a member of a small methodist church in the country. My favorite bible verse is where jesus throws the money changers out of the temple in Mark 12:40 and Luke 20:47. I like it because jesus tells it like it is. He tells them that they're thieves and that they're going to hell, and thats usually the only thing that can help a sinner.
I'm here because I love jesus, and I'd like to discuss gods divine word with like-minded christians and learn all that I can about the bible. I may be getting ahead of myself but I hope to some day not be unsaved trash, and I think that this is just the site to help me!
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Hello friend, Welcome to the Landover Baptist Church
Tell me Son, are you married? has your wife been bountiful? You should know that being a methodist can be tricky, some 'branches' often believe that they recognize JESUS as our lord and savior while others are lead by dirty papist's who are only concerned about their next human sacrifice
Perhaps try looking for a near by baptist church, Or are you happy with being condemned to hell?
God Bless
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!! -
10-16-2013, 10:31 AM
Mr. Ant, how did you come to be in possession of an AK47?
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 10
Join Date: Sep 2011
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Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!! -
10-16-2013, 01:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott Cole
Hello friend, Welcome to the Landover Baptist Church
Tell me Son, are you married? has your wife been bountiful? You should know that being a methodist can be tricky, some 'branches' often believe that they recognize JESUS as our lord and savior while others are lead by dirty papist's who are only concerned about their next human sacrifice
Perhaps try looking for a near by baptist church, Or are you happy with being condemned to hell?
God Bless
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Thanks for the advice. From my experience those methodists are nothing but trouble! I only came to associate with that dodgy nest of unsaved serpents because my mother is a member, and I'm only trying to convert her back to christ. I felt I needed to see with my own eyes what goes on in that den of vipers in order to talk sense into her.
Also sorry if my username causes any confusion. I'm actually a 22 year old female. Mr. Ant is just my nickname. But dont worry I'm obedient faithful to my husband. I obey him second only to jesus himself.
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!! -
10-16-2013, 02:00 PM
Is there any particular reason you capitalize "I" and "Mr. Ant" but not Jesus?
Yours in Christ,
Z. Smyth
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As pure and virginal as the driven snow.
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,883
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!! -
10-16-2013, 02:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. ant
I'm here because I love jesus
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I love Jesus too!
I even love Him so much that I use my shift key to worship Him.
I Jesus!
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 10
Join Date: Sep 2011
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Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!! -
10-16-2013, 02:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth
Is there any particular reason you capitalize "I" and "Mr. Ant" but not Jesus?
Yours in Christ,
Z. Smyth
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My apologies!
Thanks for catching this very serious error. I was typing a bit fast and forgot to proofread! My intention was never to elevate myself above my savior! I'm sincerely penitent and, well quite frankly disgusted with my presumptuous and disobedient actions! I beg the forgiveness of JESUS, the ONLY path to salvation! will do everything I can to repent of this terrible sin! Thank you for making me aware of this very serious problem! It wont happen again!
yours in Christ, Mr. Ant
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!! -
10-16-2013, 03:05 PM
There are some gender confusion issues in this thread that I don't feel comfortable discussing.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Director of European Evangelical Outreach A Shining Example of Christ's Love Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,677
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A frictional country
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Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!! -
10-16-2013, 04:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
There are some gender confusion issues in this thread that I don't feel comfortable discussing.
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It's making me a little antsy as well.
Proverbs 6:6
Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise:
Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 10
Join Date: Sep 2011
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Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!! -
10-16-2013, 06:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
There are some gender confusion issues in this thread that I don't feel comfortable discussing.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wide-Open
It's making me a little antsy as well.
Proverbs 6:6
Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise:
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sorry its an ongoing inside joke in my family. It has to do with our last name.
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
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Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
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Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!! -
10-16-2013, 06:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. ant
I was baptized in Bath Ohio as a baby
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Interesting. Why do your parents hate ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. ant
I'm actually a 22 year old female. Mr. Ant is just my nickname. But dont worry I'm obedient faithful to my husband. I obey him second only to jesus himself.
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It doesn't say much for your husband that he allows his wife to go parading about as a letsbemen.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 10
Join Date: Sep 2011
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Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!! -
10-16-2013, 06:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Mary Whitford
Interesting. Why do your parents hate ?
It doesn't say much for your husband that he allows his wife to go parading about as a letsbemen.
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I think you mean "ant"
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
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Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
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Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!! -
10-16-2013, 07:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. ant
I think you mean "ant"
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I have no idea what you're talking about. You call yourself "Mr.", yet you claim to be a married woman. The only women I know of who call themselves "Mr." are radical feminazi letsbemens like "Mr." Helen Degenerate and "Mr." Rosie O'Donkey.
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Mammy
Forum Member
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Posts: 961
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: floriduh
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Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!! -
10-16-2013, 09:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. ant
I was baptized in Bath Ohio as a baby, and I guess thats where I came to find jesus.
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Aint nobody gittin baptized in no bath in Ohio, Nebada or Tampa.
It just ain't gonna happen. You ain't finding no Jeezes there niether. Believe me, he don't want to be looking at yo fat ass while you soaking in da tub
Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 386
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Geographical center of the Bible belt
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Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!! -
10-18-2013, 09:07 PM
Mr. Ant, are you the guy who made those green and clear demonic ant farms that poison young minds with satanic little insects? Nobody is fooling us, we know what those ants do when the lights are off in the middle of the night. Ants, especially the black ones, spend their nights trying to summon the devil himself, that is when they are not sodomizing each other. During the day, they desperately try to reach hell with their filthy digging. The little windmill is subliminally trying to force us to go 'green' with demoncratic ideals. If I visit someone's home to witness for Jesus and see an ant farm I instantly fly into a rage and destroy it immediately with fire, lots of cleansing fire! Praise Jesus!
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!! -
10-18-2013, 10:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wide-Open
It's making me a little antsy as well.
Proverbs 6:6
Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise:
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Me too, it makes my skin crawl.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 17
Join Date: Oct 2013
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Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!! -
10-20-2013, 08:36 AM
HI I love UNsaved Trash especially when it is very filthy do you like Mormons? its the only lifestyle choice needed.
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Mammy
Forum Member
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Posts: 961
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: floriduh
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Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!! -
10-24-2013, 06:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins
Me too, it makes my skin crawl.
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Jist bout everything them folkses do make mine crawl, too Mr James.
Lawd I jist noticed them dates when we was blessed wif bein saved over at the Landover. Way back in 09. Jeezuz, been a long time
Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Hi! Im unsaved trash!! -
10-24-2013, 07:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vavoline Johnson
Jist bout everything them folkses do make mine crawl, too Mr James.
Lawd I jist noticed them dates when we was blessed wif bein saved over at the Landover. Way back in 09. Jeezuz, been a long time
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That is right Missus Johnson. Going on five years we have been members of Landover. I'd pat you on the back but I'd rather not touch you. I am sure you understand.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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