The Freehold Truth and Light Baptist newspaper Featured editorials, letters to the GODLY Pastors of Landover, local news, advise columns. |
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,172
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Your Chance to Kill Beavers. -
04-22-2015, 02:06 PM
My friend, Mayor Timmy Mahoney up in Fargo, ND, called the other day and asked if there were gun owners in Freehold who would like to come up to Fargo to shoot some beavers.
Tim has a problem up there with beaver killing trees in the parks. Gun guys in Fargo like to use the trees for target practice but the beavers bring them down. Now, beaver kissing liberals are stopping the locals from having a beaver hunt. Mayor Timmy thinks some visitors with guns could get the job done.
I told Timmy there is nothing more ugly than a beaver--a rat with bad teeth. I said I'd put the word out here in Freehold to see if we could help.
http://www.inforum.com/news/3727928-...raws-criticism
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Warning: In case of Rapture, this account will be unmanned.
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Posts: 7,220
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Your Chance to Kill Beavers. -
04-22-2015, 02:24 PM
SEE!? This is the result of Obama's "open border" policy with Canada. You think the Mexicans are bad? There is nothing worse than those overgrown Canadian rats. Sure they won't steal your job, but what is worse is the beavers are downing good tree's worthy of target practice!!!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 855
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Nunavut
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Re: Your Chance to Kill Beavers. -
04-22-2015, 03:38 PM
Beaver pelts are highly prized in Nunavut. They can be used to make extremely warm nassaks and pauluks.
Do you see this?
This is wrong. The fur goes on the inside. I think southerners have brain damage. They do not know how to survive.
I get my beaver pelts from Brother Enoch, but they have many holes in them. He does not like 'treekillers' and overkills them. When it's dead stop shooting it. I do not understand. We have no trees in Nunavut. If we did they would get in the way of us being able to see the land. How could we see the caribou if there was a tree in front of us?
Exodus 22:20 He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed.
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The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,391
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: America's Frozen Attic
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Re: Your Chance to Kill Beavers. -
04-22-2015, 03:54 PM
It's important to make sure the beaver is dead, Kitty. You don't want that beaver pelt coming alive and chewing your face off when you open the next package from me right?
You still owe me postage from the last shipment, btw.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: Your Chance to Kill Beavers. -
04-22-2015, 05:52 PM
I have killed a lot of beaver in my day and I look forward to destroying more. I would love to help.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Your Chance to Kill Beavers. -
04-22-2015, 06:08 PM
May I suggest that we send the kids from our True Christian™ Children's Sharpshooters For Jesus club? They need the practice anyway.
I've always hated those things. And wouldn't you know that the most godless state in America ( Oregon) has chosen that rodent as it's official state symbol?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Your Chance to Kill Beavers. -
04-22-2015, 06:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Kitty
Beaver pelts are highly prized in Nunavut. They can be used to make extremely warm nassaks and pauluks.
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I never could understand the appeal of beaver myself, but I suppose the Good Lord put it on this earth for a reason. Just as long as I don't have to touch the thing.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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