Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Where is that little brat?!! -
08-25-2007, 03:54 AM
I can't believe it, my daughter is STILL missing. You look away for a moment and the little brats just run off....If anyone has seen Alice, please tell me where and if she's with you, please give her a spanking on my behalf.
She also answers to the nickname "tickles", it's a long story.
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
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Pedantic Pubescent Pedophile Papist Proselytizer
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-25-2007, 04:37 AM
She's probably run away to a better family, where mommy and daddy will be good to her and not harm her in any way...Unlike what you're doing...And they say WE molest kids...
ACTS 5:29
Quote:
But Peter and the apostles said in reply, "We must obey God rather than men."
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There you have it-so WHAT'S STOPPING YOU COWARDS?
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-25-2007, 08:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin
She's probably run away to a better family, where mommy and daddy will be good to her and not harm her in any way...Unlike what you're doing...And they say WE molest kids...
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Do you have any evidence to back those accusations up, papist scum? No? I didn't think so! Brother Jeb is a fine, Godly father to his children and a shining example to many of the men in our church, so maybe you should just button your mouth, put away the altar boy, and have a heart-to-heart talk with Jesus.
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-25-2007, 01:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin
She's probably run away to a better family, where mommy and daddy will be good to her and not harm her in any way...Unlike what you're doing...And they say WE molest kids...
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No comment. I believe this post speaks for itself.
I am a suffering father, whose child has been lost all night, and this priest, the best the Catholic church has to offer, uses it as an opportunity for a cheap shot.
Only a catholic would be so disgusting as to exploit this time of suffering to push his religious beliefs on people.
Everyone else, please call if you see anything, footprints, anything. She has a little plush racoon she carries with her everywhere, please tell me if you've seen it. I have to sleep now, stupid energy drink is making me crash.
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
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True Christian™
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-25-2007, 03:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond
No comment. I believe this post speaks for itself.
I am a suffering father, whose child has been lost all night, and this priest, the best the Catholic church has to offer, uses it as an opportunity for a cheap shot.
Only a catholic would be so disgusting as to exploit this time of suffering to push his religious beliefs on people.
Everyone else, please call if you see anything, footprints, anything. She has a little plush racoon she carries with her everywhere, please tell me if you've seen it. I have to sleep now, stupid energy drink is making me crash.
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Um ... about that racoon, Brother Jeb ... what kind should we be on the lookout for?
... dead, alive, or stuffed?
Poor little thing!
Don't panic Brother Jeb, it will be all right, she will be found soon!
... let us pray, noddy
1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...
1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...
Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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True Christian™
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-25-2007, 03:53 PM
You must be out of your mind! (with worry)
... concerned, noddy
1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...
1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...
Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
Last edited by Sister Noddy; 08-25-2007 at 03:55 PM.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-25-2007, 06:02 PM
Huh Jeb, I know we know we are not in the same tithing bracket and I don't pry into everyone personal lives except what the Jesus and the church have me do but since when have you had a kid?
I mean I feel like I am slipping up on my job here.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-25-2007, 06:46 PM
Oh, my, I just peeked in on this thread because I thought it might be about JESUS.
IS this thread about Jesus?
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-25-2007, 07:11 PM
The kid kinda looks like a raccoon herself. If she painted herself up with black eyes, the disguise would fool anyone.
Bobby Joe, please send a recovery team. This ought to be easier than that Iraq nonsense, but I do congratulate you for getting Pastor Templeton out of the Shi'ite mosque after he had planted all those bombs in it. The little girl was probably kidnapped by the mother or step-sister. You are authorized to interrogate them.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-25-2007, 07:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
The kid kinda looks like a raccoon herself. If she painted herself up with black eyes, the disguise would fool anyone.
Bobby Joe, please send a recovery team. This ought to be easier than that Iraq nonsense, but I do congratulate you for getting Pastor Templeton out of the Shi'ite mosque after he had planted all those bombs in it. The little girl was probably kidnapped by the mother or step-sister. You are authorized to interrogate them.
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That is exactly what I would give her when she gets home for giving me so much grief! TWO BLACK EYES! That is what the little brat deserves.
Stern, Sister Thumper
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-25-2007, 07:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
Huh Jeb, I know we know we are not in the same tithing bracket and I don't pry into everyone personal lives except what the Jesus and the church have me do but since when have you had a kid?
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No offense intended, I've prefered to use a separate security company (LBC security has had some friendly-fire incidents, I'm sure you know what I'm reffering to) and as for my paperwork, the government lists my children as belonging to my Ex-Wife, Barbara (you've paid her a few "visits").
Alice is listed on tax forms as a granddaughter, which I guess she sort of technically is, look it's a long story.
You have my permission to lead the search. I have fired the competition and they may face a lawsuit for their failure.
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-25-2007, 07:41 PM
Son, when you need it done right, you call on the Landover team. What do a few friendly casualties count for in the Big Picture? I have BJ on it. Your little daughter or granddaughter will be back soon. Whoever kidnapped her will face GOD'S fury. If a few innocents die, God knows His Own.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-25-2007, 10:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde
That is exactly what I would give her when she gets home for giving me so much grief! TWO BLACK EYES! That is what the little brat deserves.
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Please don't, she's been in the wilderness for more than 24 hours now and I think that's punishment enough. I know I'm going soft but I just want her to be ok.
Anyway, if the security team gets her first, she'll be lucky to escape with just black eyes. Remember the time those Italians stopped to ask for directions? After five minutes alone with the security detail they were confessing to being part of the plot to assasinate Woodrow Wilson.
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-25-2007, 11:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond
Alice is listed on tax forms as a granddaughter, which I guess she sort of technically is, look it's a long story.
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Well just as long as the we get not that silliness we had last year with Pastor Zeke's daughter running around Freehold claming she wasn't his daughter and had been kidnapped from a shopping mall in St Paul. We understand about shut in kids.
Well the Security Quick Reaction Tiger Team is on the cause now Jeb and I am sure we will have her back home with you quickly.
Oh, Pastor Pistole, if our Joo Lawyers call saying something about Amish folks and one of their schools, well the Amish are lying.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond
Please don't, she's been in the wilderness for more than 24 hours now and I think that's punishment enough. I know I'm going soft but I just want her to be ok.
Anyway, if the security team gets her first, she'll be lucky to escape with just black eyes. Remember the time those Italians stopped to ask for directions? After five minutes alone with the security detail they were confessing to being part of the plot to assasinate Woodrow Wilson.
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If it wasn't for that liberal activist judge they would be in jail right too.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Pedantic Pubescent Pedophile Papist Proselytizer
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,010
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: St. Thomas Aquinas Catholic Church, Waterford, WI
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-26-2007, 08:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond
No comment. I believe this post speaks for itself.
I am a suffering father, whose child has been lost all night, and this priest, the best the Catholic church has to offer, uses it as an opportunity for a cheap shot.
Only a catholic would be so disgusting as to exploit this time of suffering to push his religious beliefs on people.
Everyone else, please call if you see anything, footprints, anything. She has a little plush racoon she carries with her everywhere, please tell me if you've seen it. I have to sleep now, stupid energy drink is making me crash.
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No, I just think she'll come back to you if you learn to be a better dad.
She really loves that raccoon...Probably therapy for her to get away from your abusive tactics.
But she still loves you...Just promise to treat her better, and she'll most likely come back!
ACTS 5:29
Quote:
But Peter and the apostles said in reply, "We must obey God rather than men."
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There you have it-so WHAT'S STOPPING YOU COWARDS?
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Foul Sinner on Moderation
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Posts: 51
Join Date: Aug 2007
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-26-2007, 01:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond
I can't believe it, my daughter is STILL missing. You look away for a moment and the little brats just run off....If anyone has seen Alice, please tell me where and if she's with you, please give her a spanking on my behalf.
She also answers to the nickname "tickles", it's a long story.
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Do you understand you are giving the world and strangers the right to abuse your little girl. Word of advice, watch what you say
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True Christian™ Theologian
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-26-2007, 02:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bexz
Do you understand you are giving the world and strangers the right to abuse your little girl. Word of advice, watch what you say
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Why don't you want her picture out, so that people can recognize her?
Is there anything you want to admit, witch?
Brother BJ, you better pull up the DOF file on above quoted witch..
See if she has a history of kidnapping children, lesbianism, or human sacrifice.
If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
Last edited by SalvationSeeker; 08-26-2007 at 02:43 PM.
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Foul Sinner on Moderation
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-26-2007, 03:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SalvationSeeker
Why don't you want her picture out, so that people can recognize her?
Is there anything you want to admit, witch?
Brother BJ, you better pull up the DOF file on above quoted witch..
See if she has a history of kidnapping children, lesbianism, or human sacrifice.
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I never said I don't want her picture out, NEVER!
I'm just saying be carefull when you tell people that they are aloud to spank your child, just incase the authorities find out. I'm just giving him some advice. I hope your daughter returns safe and well. I'll pray for her.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-26-2007, 03:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bexz
I never said I don't want her picture out, NEVER!
I'm just saying be carefull when you tell people that they are aloud to spank your child, just incase the authorities find out. I'm just giving him some advice. I hope your daughter returns safe and well. I'll pray for her.
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Who're you going to pray to, Stephen Hawking?
Proverbs 15:29 The LORD is far from the wicked: but he heareth the prayer of the righteous.
The Lord only hears the prayer of the righteous. Jeb's got enough to worry about as it is without you making the situation worse by sacrificing bunnies to Allah or whatever you scientists do.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-26-2007, 09:27 PM
I'll get my Maid to go check my basement Laundry room.
That last lot of kids I purchased from "deprived backgrounds" looked a little strange to me.
Don't worry brother Jeb, if she is down there she'll still be ok as It's only been a few days.
Mind you, she'll have learned all about Handgun safety when she comes back
UPDATE: Sorry Jeb, it wasn't her. If you need a replacement, let me know as I'm sure I can spare one or two.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
Last edited by Talitha; 08-26-2007 at 09:37 PM.
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