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Thumbs down English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 05:58 AM

I guess when no pre-pubescent boys are available, vegetables will have to do the trick for these false-Christian degenerates.

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Originally Posted by linked article
The clergyman, in his 50s, told medical staff at Sheffield's Northern General Hospital that the accident was definitely not due to a sex game.

He had to undergo surgery to extract the spud from his backside, according to The Sun.

A&E nurse Trudi Watson told the paper: "He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in he kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.

"But it's not for me to question his story."

She went on to reveal other objects removed from people's derriére, including a cucumber, a Russian doll and a carnation.


II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
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Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 06:14 AM

A six-pack and a potato--was he Irish?


Come climb my mountains.
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Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 07:02 AM

Well, I never!!

Seriously, never.

Though I did once tear down a kitchen cabinet from the wall whilst naked. In my defense, it was very hot and I had no air-conditioning.Furthermore, when I have a bee in my bonnet regarding some household project or other, there is very little that can stop me.

I had to stand on the counter of the kitchen sink and sort of lean over as I was ripping out the cabinet over the refridgerator. Still, had I fallen, I truly believe that result would not have been some foreign object up my bum. I might very well have broken my neck, but as I harboured no lust in my heart for any members of the tuberous vegetable family, the Lord protected me.


Decorously Yours,

Handmaiden


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Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 07:05 AM

I wonder how many potatoes he had placed strategically around the kitchen, just waiting for an "accident" to happen...
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Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 10:27 AM

I know how this can happen. I was working a week ago on one of the decorative fences that goes around the main house and the well


and I slipped off of the ladder and a bushel of corn got stuck in my rectum.
It happens more often than you'd imagine.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 10:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
I know how this can happen. I was working a week ago on one of the decorative fences that goes around the main house and the well


and I slipped off of the ladder and a bushel of corn got stuck in my rectum.
It happens more often than you'd imagine.
So that's how the term "corn-holing" got started?


Come climb my mountains.
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Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 10:32 AM

Indeed Brother James. I remember when one of our congregation fell backwards onto a cucumber. Twice. These things do happen.

Still, it's pretty clear that with THIS guy it wasn't an accident. A french freedom fry I would have believed. But a whole potato?


Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 10:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roberta View Post
A six-pack and a potato--was he Irish?
A vicar from Ida-ho?


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brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 11:02 AM

Let's do a limerick!

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Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan View Post
A vicar from Id-a-ho?
Fell backwards on the flo'


Come climb my mountains.
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Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 11:11 AM

He caught a spud


Psalm 81:10:
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open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 11:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wide-Open View Post
He caught a spud
In his gaping rose bud

Larni can finish


Come climb my mountains.
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Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 12:11 PM

And he lied to the nurse, f'sho
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Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 12:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurence Niles View Post
And he lied to the nurse, f'sho
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Smile Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 02:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wide-Open View Post
Indeed Brother James. I remember when one of our congregation fell backwards onto a cucumber. Twice. These things do happen.

Still, it's pretty clear that with THIS guy it wasn't an accident. A french freedom fry I would have believed. But a whole potato?
After some careful checking, I have to agree with your wisdom once again. It is nearly impossible to insert a potato into a persons backside without considerable effort.
It is possible if the person has sat on one of those 'potato cannons' and suffers an accidental discharge of the weapon. My boys made a few of them a year or so back.
http://b.vimeocdn.com/ts/804/878/80487839_100.jpg
Notice how Cletus is holding it. It was the last time he fired it that way. Poor boy, been married three years now and no sons.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 03:21 PM

While the fact that were talking about a homer enabling Anglican makes me suspicious I would be believe. Gays go how of their way to set up little traps to get people to sodomize themselves. It was probably some gay parishioner of that Vicer who moved the potato into the danger zone and suggested doing the remodeling naked.



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Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 04:43 PM

I figured that by now it would be one of their "sacraments."


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Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-30-2012, 10:44 PM

This was in my home town.
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Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-30-2012, 10:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine Moore View Post
This was in my home town.
No doubt you moved south as soon as you found the railway station.

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-30-2012, 10:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurence Niles View Post
No doubt you moved south as soon as you found the railway station.

YIC
I was under the impression the South was full of homers and shandy drinkers. I'd half assumed even acknowledging the existence of the part of the country below about Leicester was sinful.

Thank you for the correction.
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Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-31-2012, 12:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View Post
I figured that by now it would be one of their "sacraments."
It does give a new meaning to the term "holy" sacrament.


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I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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