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Ezekiel Bathfire's Avatar
Ezekiel Bathfire Ezekiel Bathfire is offline
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Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Testing your Faith - 02-06-2022, 11:49 PM
Is it a good thing? Is it a bad thing?

What is your faith? How would you know God did not mark you down to stoke the fires of Hell? This question is asked in

Ro:9:21: Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honour, and another unto dishonour?
Ro:9:22: What if God, willing to shew his wrath, and to make his power known, endured with much longsuffering the vessels of wrath fitted to destruction:
Ro:9:23: And that he might make known the riches of his glory on the vessels of mercy, which he had afore prepared unto glory,

At last, you can know your true faith. A simple test is available from the laboratories of Landover Christian University, and here it is. It has been tested thoroughly here at Landover and has proven 100% accurate.

First relax your eyes by staring into the middle-distance and thinking of Jesus. After a minute look at the chart. The results may surprise you - you may think you are one religion, but turn out to be quite another.


Name: Hidden Numbers.jpg Views: 88 Size: 92.8 KB




“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Johny Joe Hold's Avatar
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Default Re: Testing your Faith - 02-07-2022, 02:04 AM
Thank you for posting this test, Pastor Bathfire. I was a bit apprehensive about taking it, but Jesus rewarded me for the effort.

Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Dennis Lukes's Avatar
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Default Re: Testing your Faith - 02-07-2022, 02:15 AM
Glory! For a second I thought I was a Muslim, but then I saw the zero (symbolizing no doubt the value of Islam to humanity) and my faith in Christ was confirmed anew. Praise!

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Default Re: Testing your Faith - 02-07-2022, 05:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
Glory! For a second I thought I was a Muslim, but then I saw the zero (symbolizing no doubt the value of Islam to humanity) and my faith in Christ was confirmed anew. Praise!
In my case, for a moment I thought I was a Catholic, and I had that sinking feeling... but then I saw the 4 and rejoiced!

God created fossils to test our faith.

* * *

My favorite LBC sermons:
True Christians are Perfect!
True Christian™ Love.
Salvation™ made Easy!
You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
 Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
God HATES Rational Thinking!
True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.
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Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Testing your Faith - 02-08-2022, 01:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
Is it a good thing? Is it a bad thing?
What is your faith? How would you know God did not mark you down to stoke the fires of Hell?
I am not sure how this test works. All the circles have numbers in them. Would it be an idea to put in some more circles and then one without a number in it?

Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Testing your Faith - 02-08-2022, 01:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roland View Post
I am not sure how this test works...
Me, neither, tho I understand why they used seven.


Buddhists have a better claim to zero imo; give six to the Jews obv; but four for the Catholics? Get ready for the antitriclavians be offended.

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Default Re: Testing your Faith - 02-08-2022, 05:30 PM
Baptist all the way, baby! I especially like the nice touch of making the Catholic number 666.

This is almost as good a test as the one God prefers, killing your family, destroying your slaves and cattle, and giving you painful diseases just to see if you will stick by Him (this is the story of Job in the Bible). If you pass that test and still love the Lord, then, just like Job, you get a new family, new slaves and cattle, and a clean bill of health. So, in the end, no harm done.

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Default Re: Testing your Faith - 02-08-2022, 06:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
Even tough I'm not superstitious, I've heard the number four is an unlucky number according to Asians.
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