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Cake Happy Birthday, Brother Elmer White! - 05-03-2019, 03:41 AM

May I be the first in wishing you the happiest of birthdays, Dr. White!


Here's a modest birthday cake for you:


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Default Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Elmer White! - 05-03-2019, 04:35 AM

Hello, Brother Doctor;

May I be second in wishing you a fine and prosperous (both spiritually and materially) birthday.











His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

Guns For God and the Economy
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Default Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Elmer White! - 05-03-2019, 11:25 AM

Commiserations, that man

I confidently expect anytime soon now in the immediate future for Jesus to call you to His muscular embrace where you can sit on His firm right hand.

The next time you are passing the piano removal/loft installation shop or the anvil emporium (only the top shelf for you, brother) just think about how if Jesus loved as much as we all hope that He would have used one of the myriad lethal ways to bring you to Him

It is baffling that you are still here (but that’s not for now). I wonder if that pack of dogs that you keep in that shed might provide Jesus with an opportunity to thank you for you service to Him over the years.

They do look hungry.

Anyway, it’s you day today and the fact that it’s the same date the the decree absolute arrive through me letter box is neither here there.

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Default Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Elmer White! - 05-03-2019, 02:03 PM

Dear blessed Brother White: May I extend to you my most sincere and heartfelt congratulations on your birthday, and for successfully fulfilling another year of service to our beloved , . I wish you a very Happy Birthday, and many more years of happiness and devotion to ! I have contacted Sister Sarah at the White House, to inform her of this joyous occasion, and she has sent along this appreciative message to you, from our God-sent President. A blessed Happy Birthday to you, dear Brother White, and please, do be sure to enjoy an extra slice or two of delicious cake. Sincerely, Isabella W.


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Default Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Elmer White! - 05-04-2019, 01:20 AM

As my present to you I will return the chainsaw I borrowed. It makes weird noises but I am certain this was not caused by me using it to cut concrete.


Only Sluts Get Raped! (1st Timothy 2:9)
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Elmer White! - 05-04-2019, 02:12 AM

A most Blessed Birthday to you, Brother in Christ!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Piece of cake Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Elmer White! - 05-04-2019, 01:38 PM

Happy Birthday Elmer. Remember last year at that dinner? The bet we placed with those female harlot sinners and how they finally paid off in the alley behind The Mediterranean? That was a hoot and a half!

I'm sorry I was not more timely with my words but there was a mixup with some uppity nigra cop (who gives them the right to impede a White True Christian™?) Any how, I was forced to spend a few nights 'off the road'.
I'll text you later and perhaps we can arrange another party. You, me, the rest of the Church elders for a weekend of Golf and fine dining at Mar Largo?
Right now I need a shower, massage and new clothes.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Elmer White! - 05-05-2019, 02:48 AM

Thank you my Brethren (and Sisters) in Christ for your Thoughts and Prayers. This has been a year of unprecedented accomplishments in Answered Prayers. I did ask to Lord to take me away when it suits Him and He answered by not taking me yet. There must still be unsaved potential Heaven-Dwellers out there, perhaps even more than can be counted with the fingers of my left hand - and my presence is still required on this ghastly, soon-to-be-recycled Earth.

Matthew 21:22
And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.


Some other Answered Prayers:
  • I asked that my wife's menopause would not be cancelled and Praise Jesus she is still unovulatory and we have ceased our marital duties for Eternity.
  • I asked not to get the AIDS contagion by breathing the air at the Mall and I did not get it.
  • I asked Jesus to show me some male eye-candy in a totally non-fornicatory manner, and Has continued to provide us with good-quality photographs of our President Trump.
I'll be holding a slightly belated reception at the charity where I and my family usually eat help tomorrow at 1200 noon with some relatively light entertainment in the form of modern hymns. Here's the sheet music for you to memorize beforehand. I kindly ask Mrs. Isabella White to take the tambourine instead of bringing her sometimes too powerful bass voice into the harmony.




See you all there.






Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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Default Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Elmer White! - 05-05-2019, 02:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White View Post
Thank you my Brethren (and Sisters) in Christ for your Thoughts and Prayers. I'll be holding a slightly belated reception at the charity where I and my family usually eat help tomorrow at 1200 noon with some relatively light entertainment in the form of modern hymns. Here's the sheet music for you to memorize beforehand. I kindly ask Mrs. Isabella White to take the tambourine instead of bringing her sometimes too powerful bass voice into the harmony. See you all there.




Yours in Christ,

Elmer
Oh, fear not, dear Brother White, and I thank you for the invitation. I'll be there, tambourine in hand, praising the ! Mind you, I'm not quite as energetic as I once was. Goodness, the years do take their toll, but I can still pound a good beat as well as the next one, although perhaps not quite as loudly as this noisy nigress here:



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