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True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
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Posts: 4,895
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
09-22-2019, 02:23 AM
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
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Rocks For Brains, Unsaved trash, hopelessly weird
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Posts: 117
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Godless UK
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
10-19-2019, 04:17 PM
I learned this one at the convent ---
what do you call a hermaphrodite with a fused poopie-hole and vajayjay profusely bleeding?
a semi-colon followed by a period.
No spoose should be more attractive than the other - that way, no one is satisfied, and the marriage can be happy.
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True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
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Posts: 4,895
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
10-19-2019, 08:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily Brent
I learned this one at the convent ---
what do you call a hermaphrodite with a fused poopie-hole and vajayjay profusely bleeding?
a semi-colon followed by a period.
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Dear above! Miss Brent, I don't think that that "joke" is appropriate for . I must remind you that this is a family-oriented site, and we do strive to bring honor and praise to the in all that we do here at .
Perhaps, in future, you can post jokes that do not involve "potty" humor, such as this nice, clean joke:
Q: Why were Gentiles created? A: Somebody has to pay retail.
Sincerely, Isabella W.
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
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Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
10-19-2019, 11:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella White
Dear above! Miss Brent, I don't think that that "joke" is appropriate for . I must remind you that this is a family-oriented site, and we do strive to bring honor and praise to the in all that we do here at .
Perhaps, in future, you can post jokes that do not involve "potty" humor, such as this nice, clean joke:
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AMEN! I don't know how these gutter-mouthed degenerates keep finding this Godly forum! They sorely need to be reminded of Ephesians 4:29!
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Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
10-19-2019, 11:06 PM
What do altar boys have in common with light bulbs?
Priests love screwing in the new ones.
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Forum member
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Posts: 781
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: The greatest country in the world - United States!
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
10-20-2019, 12:20 AM
A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and asks for a beer. The bartender brings a beer and notices the parrot on his shoulder and says, "Hey that's really neat. Where did you get it?" The parrot responds, "In the jungle, there's millions of them."
Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
1 Corinthians 11:13
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Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
10-27-2019, 04:05 PM
This may be old but I just heard it at church today.
A terrorist, a rapist, and a pedophile go into a bar. Bartender says “Hi Mohammed!”
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
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True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
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Posts: 4,895
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
10-27-2019, 11:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry
This may be old but I just heard it at church today.
A terrorist, a rapist, and a pedophile go into a bar. Bartender says “Hi Mohammed!”
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Oh, my, that is a funny one, dearest Great-Grandbaby Brother Larry! How you've made me giggle titteringly. And here is one that I do so hope you will enjoy, as well:
Q: What's the difference between a Mooselim and a vampire?
A: At some point the vampire will stop being bloodthirsty.
A blessed evening to you, Dear,
Lovingly, Granny Isabella
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
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Rocks For Brains, Unsaved trash, hopelessly weird
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Posts: 117
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Godless UK
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
12-06-2019, 02:27 AM
I'll try again at a joke
What did the Queen say to the negro pianist in the ballroom?
" Oh good, we need a little colour in this room"
No spoose should be more attractive than the other - that way, no one is satisfied, and the marriage can be happy.
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Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
12-06-2019, 02:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily Brent
I'll try again at a joke
What did the Queen say to the negro pianist in the ballroom?
" Oh good, we need a little colour in this room"
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That's what Meghan Monkey and the quadroon prince are for.
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Rocks For Brains, Unsaved trash, hopelessly weird
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Posts: 117
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Godless UK
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
12-07-2019, 07:20 AM
Man: Why are the corners of the house so damp?
Woman: Because I am angle-licking (Anglican)
Man: Why?
Woman: It's better than carpet munching!
No spoose should be more attractive than the other - that way, no one is satisfied, and the marriage can be happy.
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Rocks For Brains, Unsaved trash, hopelessly weird
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Posts: 117
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Godless UK
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
12-12-2019, 05:45 AM
My funny bone has been a bit stale lately - does anyone have a good Jewish joke?
No spoose should be more attractive than the other - that way, no one is satisfied, and the marriage can be happy.
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Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Dec 2018
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
12-14-2019, 03:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily Brent
My funny bone has been a bit stale lately - does anyone have a good Jewish joke?
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18 whole pages of them right here, which you would've found if you'd bothered to look instead of asking for a handout like a fat negress.
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Rocks For Brains, Unsaved trash, hopelessly weird
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Posts: 117
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Godless UK
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
12-14-2019, 03:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes
18 whole pages of them right here, which you would've found if you'd bothered to look instead of asking for a handout like a fat negress.
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Pardon me, dear. Old eyes.
No spoose should be more attractive than the other - that way, no one is satisfied, and the marriage can be happy.
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Rocks For Brains, Unsaved trash, hopelessly weird
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Posts: 117
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Godless UK
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
12-19-2019, 08:40 PM
What is the Cathilic priests preferred type of brothel?
An orphanage.
No spoose should be more attractive than the other - that way, no one is satisfied, and the marriage can be happy.
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An old soul
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,234
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: USA-UK-France (traveling)
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
12-25-2019, 06:30 PM
What's the Pastor's favorite car?
A convertible.
No joke.
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Striving in vain for the good ol' corteous Edwardian grace
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Posts: 334
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Location: Pineville, NC
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
02-13-2020, 06:09 AM
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor went to check on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl. "Oh, yes" she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter!" The pastor fainted.
-Ps 25:10 All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.
-Ps 33:4 For the word of the LORD is right; and all his works are done in truth.
-James 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 225
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Milton, PA
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
03-10-2020, 10:23 AM
A friend forwarded this to me this morning ---
Q: What's the difference between your job and your wife after five years?
A: After five years your job will still suck.
I admit, I was bemused as I love my job, in spite of things being rocky at the moment. My wife, I don't recall ever sucking, or performing any noise disturbing gestures with her mouth. Therefore, I'm not sure I get my friends sense of humor, but I thought I'd share if someone here might get it.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 225
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Milton, PA
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
03-20-2020, 03:02 PM
I bet the chinks will be writing post-Coronial literature when this is done.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Location: East Texas
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
03-24-2020, 06:58 PM
How did the blasphemer cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned to death slowly and painfully by the righteous!
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