[Brother D. Thomas]

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For Single Christian Men that are looking for a wife!

Shown below in the following passages inspired by Jesus the Christ, are examples for Christian men in how to get a wife, praise!
Forget those ungodly and unbiblical dating sites like E.Harmony and Christian Dating, whereas shown below are the true Biblical ways
in obtaining a wife of your dreams!


1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes.
Then she’s yours! (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)

2. Find a prostitute and marry her. YIKES, whatever works! (Hosea 1:1-3)

3. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock, and biblically, he should give you one
of his daughters, easy peasy! (Exodus 2:16-21)

4. Purchase a piece of property and get a woman as part of the deal. (Ruth 4:5-10)

5. Go to a party and hide. When the women comes out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife, how easy is this! (Judges 21:19-25)

6. Have our God Jesus create a wife for you while you are asleep. Note: this will cost you a rib. (Genesis 2:19-24)

7. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman’s hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman.
Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place.
That’s right. Fourteen years of toil to get a wife, ouch! (Genesis 29:15-30)

8. This should be a favorite for all True Christian men looking for a wife. Cut off 200 foreskins of your future father-in-law’s enemies
and get his daughter for a wife in return! (I Samuel 18:27)

9. Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you’ll definitely find someone. (Genesis 4:16-17)

10. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest and choose a wife. (Esther 2:3-4)

11. When you see someone you think could be your wife, go home and tell your parents and say: “I have seen a woman; now get her for me.”
If your parents question your decision, simply say, “Get her for me. She’s the one for me!” (Judges 14:1-3)

12. Have any husband killed and take his wife. (2 Samuel 11)

13. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow as your wife. (Deuteronomy 25:5-10)

14. Don’t be so damn picky in choosing a wife. Make up for quality with quantity, praise! (1 Kings 11:1-3)


I have followed a few of these passages shown above in obtaining my 9 wives over the years because of the simple fact that Jesus told us
to be “fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 9:1) so I can add future Christian Soldiers for the cause, thank you Jesus! The only problem with this
scenario was that my wives life ambition was to be able to “sit up.”

Are there any married Christian men that can give us stories in how they biblically got their wives in marriage relative to the passages shown
above? Don't be shy, Jesus is watching you! (Hebrews 4:13)



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[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Let's not forget another popular route for Christian marriage. Rape.

Deuteronomy 22
28 If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found;
29 Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.
30 A man shall not take his father's wife, nor discover his father's skirt.

The last directive seems somewhat opaque, to me, but simple enough to follow blindly. No messing with your father's bit of skirt, got it.

[Brother D. Thomas]

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Dr. Anthony J. Toole,

In Jesus' inspired passage that you gave relative to a father's "skirt,' seems to relate to the Scottish ethnic group in their men wearing kilts, or skirts.
One now has to wonder if Jesus, as our serial killer Yahweh God incarnate, created at the same time with His chosen people the Hebrews, the Scottish people as well?

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[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Mr. Brother Thomas, the passage means precisely what it says.

[MitzaLizalor]

What about the Romans?

seems to relate to the Scottish ethnic group in their men wearing kilts

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[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor

What about the Romans?.

Sister Mitz, not to belabor the point but scholars estimate the time of Deuteronomy to be around 7th Century BC whereas the Roman Empire dates much later, perhaps 3rd or 4th Century BC. Therefore it seem unlikely the author of the passage was referring to Roman skirt - but still far more probable than the ludicrous suggestion from the non-TC of a Scottish kilt, which originates from the 16th Century AD.

After consultation with authoritative references, and in the context of having sexual intercourse with your own mother (father's wife), father's skirt clearly refers to father's extra-marital sexual partners. Do not sleep with your father's wife (your mother), or his mistress(es). It is logical and perfectly clear.