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Default Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection - 08-23-2010, 12:54 AM

Public Notice: New Paint Swatch Inspection Requirement

This is to inform the citizens of Freehold of a new requirement: Swatches of paint to be used on the outside of houses must be brought to City Hall for my inspection.

Recently, one of our Pastors brought to my attention a certain house located at 1515 Devine Road. The house has recently been painted a color that has raised many questions as to what is going on within the house.

While some might argue that it is not the business of City Hall to regulate the color or colors people choose for their houses, we must look at the bigger question. Actually, there are two questions: (1.) Will the color choosen for one's private home have an effect on the value of other homes? (2.) Does the color of one person's home effect the moral standards of people in other homes?

While I will not declare today that there is a prohibited color or colors, it should be know that the "problem house" at 1515 Devine Road is painted lavender. This is not to say that lavender is totally banned. A home owner may have some reason the use lavender on a small piece of trim not facing the street.

I want Freehold residents to understand that I am not "choosing" the paint color for you. I am merely acting as an advisory consultant to you. When you bring in your paint swatch, we can have a visit as to why you might have choosen that color and what the future implications are of that choice. We may agree to invite one of the Landover Baptist Pastors to join the conversation.

I hope all the wonderful residents of Freehold are enjoying these final days of summer.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection - 08-23-2010, 01:00 AM

I can't imagine why anyone would want to live in a house any color other than white.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection - 08-23-2010, 01:08 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
I can't imagine why anyone would want to live in a house any color other than white.
Our house is natural stone with brown trim. I'm not a white fan as it gets dirty every time it rains. Stone never has to be painted, just power wash it every couple of years.


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Default Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection - 08-23-2010, 01:29 AM

That's different. Some houses are painted.


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Default Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection - 08-23-2010, 02:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
I can't imagine why anyone would want to live in a house any color other than white.
Nobar, my friend, you are a man of impeccable taste. White is good.

What we do not want reflected in our community is this:

http://www.lavendermagazine.com/


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection - 08-23-2010, 12:12 PM

Brother Johny, thank you very much for being on the alert and stopping this travesty in its tracks.


I didn't even have to click on the link you provided, I just waved my meter over it:



And the meter told me all I needed to know.


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Default Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection - 08-23-2010, 02:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by HTannor View Post
Brother Johny, thank you very much for being on the alert and stopping this travesty in its tracks.


I didn't even have to click on the link you provided, I just waved my meter over it:



And the meter told me all I needed to know.
Thank you brother Tanner for introducing high level technology to this problem.

To tell the truth, I am not totally prepared to judge homer paint colors--a little naive actually. Could someone tell me other homer colors to watch for in addition to lavender?


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection - 08-23-2010, 09:32 PM

I'm so envious of your Godly lifestyles. Here in England, there are entire towns just filled with socialist-built council estates which all look like this:

It is a heavy cross I bear.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


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Default Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection - 08-23-2010, 10:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
I'm so envious of your Godly lifestyles. Here in England, there are entire towns just filled with socialist-built council estates which all look like this:

It is a heavy cross I bear.
This is where the cans of mis-tinted paint go?


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Default Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection - 08-23-2010, 11:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
I'm so envious of your Godly lifestyles. Here in England, there are entire towns just filled with socialist-built council estates which all look like this:

It is a heavy cross I bear.
Brother, it looks like a kindergarten threw up!

How do you stand it?


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection - 08-24-2010, 12:22 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
Brother, it looks like a kindergarten threw up!

How do you stand it?
What jumps out at me about that house are the little areas painted pink. It seems like pink should be banned in Freehold except in cases where the house is occupied by a single woman.

Pink and lavender seem like prohibited colors for houses where a male is present.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection - 08-24-2010, 09:44 PM

JJH, as you know, our little place is made of Burmese limestone and not painted. Our mahogany front door is only lacquered. However, we are painting a mud room a light shade of brown. I'll have a swatch submitted immediately. If it is not suitable, please let my painters "LBC Messengers Of Godly Design" know.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection - 08-24-2010, 09:53 PM

It still say the shade of green I had chosen for my shutters was correct. This is about the first time I have seen Forest Green was rejected for Institutional Green.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection - 08-24-2010, 09:56 PM

As an Officer of the Law, I fully support our mayor in his decision to keep Freehold from becoming a hotbed of immorality.

Think of how many more dangers he is preventing your Boys in Blue from having to face on the streets by advising what colors may or may not be used on a house!
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Default Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection - 08-24-2010, 11:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ofc. Don W. Richards View Post
As an Officer of the Law, I fully support our mayor in his decision to keep Freehold from becoming a hotbed of immorality.

Think of how many more dangers he is preventing your Boys in Blue from having to face on the streets by advising what colors may or may not be used on a house!

Brother Don, I feel very comforted by having you on the street.

I would greatly appreciate it if you could have one of your cruisers roll through my trailer court. Some of the tenents here are, shall we say, somewhat lax, in their approach to "house decor."

A couple of the beaner families favor colors they feel are more representative of the "earth tones" of the desert southwest. I can not handle those "pastel" colors.

This is not to say anything about what the coons use on their trailers. They seem to prefer rust as a color, but I don't think it's something they paint on. I think it's more like they let the factory applied paint wear thin and then let "Mother Nature" take over and let the natural elements take over.

Brother Don, is there a schedule of fines that can be imposed?

For instance, if a beaner is out of compliance, can you whack him for, say, 75 bucks, if he has an earth tone?

If a spade goes with the "rust" color, can he be nailed with, say, 500 or a thousand bucks plus? And here I'm talking about enough to get the coloreds "movin' on down the road?"

Whatever you can do to clean up the park will be appreciated.


The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

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Default Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection - 08-26-2010, 03:41 PM

I have to admit this week has been a little frustrating. The phone keeps ringing.

Some callers agree with me about the house color regulations, but don't want to truck done to City Hall to show me what they have in mind. Can you imagine this? They want to describe the color they have chosen to me on the phone.

Another group, and this caught me completely by surprise, want to mix a little lavender into some other color. "I don't want my white to be exactly like my neighbor's white," one woman told me.

As we all work our way through this, I hope we can agree on one fact: Lavender is Satan's favorite color.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection - 08-26-2010, 04:37 PM

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Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
I'm so envious of your Godly lifestyles. Here in England, there are entire towns just filled with socialist-built council estates.
That's helpful to know which houses to avoid or where to buy your reefer.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection - 08-27-2010, 07:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
What jumps out at me about that house are the little areas painted pink. It seems like pink should be banned in Freehold except in cases where the house is occupied by a single woman.

Pink and lavender seem like prohibited colors for houses where a male is present.

I'm really glad that you posted this because I have to admit, I love pretty colors. But it's okay, right? 'Cause I'm a girl.


Oh, and I would like to point out that the first recorded rainbow was in the Bible. When God set His bow in the sky to show He wouldn't be working with wtaer the next time He destroys the world.

It makes me sad that I can't indulge my love of rainbow shades without unintentionally giving support to the you-know-whats. If I could, I would paint my house in a mix of colors, but I would use polka dots instead of blocks.

Colorfully Yours,
Handmaiden


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Default Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection - 08-27-2010, 02:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
I'm really glad that you posted this because I have to admit, I love pretty colors. But it's okay, right? 'Cause I'm a girl.


Oh, and I would like to point out that the first recorded rainbow was in the Bible. When God set His bow in the sky to show He wouldn't be working with wtaer the next time He destroys the world.

It makes me sad that I can't indulge my love of rainbow shades without unintentionally giving support to the you-know-whats. If I could, I would paint my house in a mix of colors, but I would use polka dots instead of blocks.

Colorfully Yours,
Handmaiden
Thanks for your thoughtful concerns, Handy. When I review these swatch samples, I'm really trying to cut people as much slack as possible--especially for unfortunate single women like yourself.

That's why I like to have personal visits with folks. It helps understand the individual circumstances. People like yourself who like colors, that should be OK. Polka dots might be fine.

To be perfectly candid, what I'm looking for are political alliances of single women with homers. For example, I don't want an innocent sounding single women to say, "I like colors, so I'm want to paint rainbow stripes on my home." Bingo! I have uncovered a scheme to paint Satan's rainbow flag on a house in Freehold.

I think you would agree we just cannot have that.


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Default Re: Public Notice: Paint Swatch Inspection - 08-27-2010, 03:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post

To be perfectly candid, what I'm looking for are political alliances of single women with homers. For example, I don't want an innocent sounding single women to say, "I like colors, so I'm want to paint rainbow stripes on my home." Bingo! I have uncovered a scheme to paint Satan's rainbow flag on a house in Freehold.

Very clever of you, Mr. Mayor.

I might suggest that you take some backup with you on those trips. Here, I'm thinking Officer Don.

I'm told those bull dykes can get quite visious when they're cornered and Officer Don is always well armed. A Glock 40 has pretty decent stopping power.


The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

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