[Brother V]

1 Samuel 28-31

In today's Bible in a Year reading we get:

David and the Philistines
the Witch of Endor
those pesky Amalekites
Some people die...

1 Samuel 28

1 And it came to pass in those days, that the Philistines gathered their armies together for warfare, to fight with Israel. And Achish said unto David, Know thou assuredly, that thou shalt go out with me to battle, thou and thy men.

Ha, he doesn't know that David had been going out killing everyone and everything in the land, so he asks David to go fight with him.

2 And David said to Achish, Surely thou shalt know what thy servant can do. And Achish said to David, Therefore will I make thee keeper of mine head for ever.

David and his troops are gonna be Achish's personal bodyguards.

3 Now Samuel was dead, and all Israel had lamented him, and buried him in Ramah, even in his own city. And Saul had put away those that had familiar spirits, and the wizards, out of the land.

Wow, Saul actually did something good.

4 And the Philistines gathered themselves together, and came and pitched in Shunem: and Saul gathered all Israel together, and they pitched in Gilboa.

Saul saw how many Philistines there were, and he got scared.

6 And when Saul enquired of the LORD, the LORD answered him not, neither by dreams, nor by Urim, nor by prophets.

Urim was the casting of lots. God wasn't answering Saul. He had rejected him, the only thing God would do to Saul was taunt him with a demon.

7 Then said Saul unto his servants, Seek me a woman that hath a familiar spirit, that I may go to her, and enquire of her. And his servants said to him, Behold, there is a woman that hath a familiar spirit at Endor.

Apparently, Saul was as good at putting away people with familiar spirits as he was at killing the Amalekites.

8 And Saul disguised himself, and put on other raiment, and he went, and two men with him, and they came to the woman by night: and he said, I pray thee, divine unto me by the familiar spirit, and bring me him up, whom I shall name unto thee.

Saul must have been a master of disguise to be able to convince someone that he wasn't the king, when he stood head and shoulders above everyone else.

9 And the woman said unto him, Behold, thou knowest what Saul hath done, how he hath cut off those that have familiar spirits, and the wizards, out of the land: wherefore then layest thou a snare for my life, to cause me to die?

She thought he was a spy for Saul.

10 And Saul sware to her by the LORD, saying, As the LORD liveth, there shall no punishment happen to thee for this thing.

God wasn't dead to Saul, but Saul was dead to God. It's like false christians who think they are praying to God, when they are just mouthing words to a deity that has rejected them.

11 Then said the woman, Whom shall I bring up unto thee? And he said, Bring me up Samuel.

Of all the dead people in the world, Saul wants Samuel. Samuel, the guy who barely had a civil conversation with Saul. Saul still liked Samuel, man... Saul was dumb, not only did he want Samuel's and God's approval, but they both rejected him.

12 And when the woman saw Samuel, she cried with a loud voice: and the woman spake to Saul, saying, Why hast thou deceived me? for thou art Saul.

It took seeing the dead guy for her to realize it was the king.

14 And he said unto her, What form is he of? And she said, An old man cometh up; and he is covered with a mantle. And Saul perceived that it was Samuel, and he stooped with his face to the ground, and bowed himself.

Remember, this story is FACT. People can summon dead spirits. Additionally, here we get to see how other "bible" "translations" have mistakes. Many of them say Samuel never saw Saul again; when we already saw how Saul prophesied naked infront of Samuel, when searching for David, and now even after he's dead, Samuel sees Saul again.

15 And Samuel said to Saul, Why hast thou disquieted me, to bring me up? And Saul answered, I am sore distressed; for the Philistines make war against me, and God is departed from me, and answereth me no more, neither by prophets, nor by dreams: therefore I have called thee, that thou mayest make known unto me what I shall do.

Saul needs better advisers. When a dead guy is the best advice you can get, you should really consider not surrounding yourself with such "yes men".

16 Then said Samuel, Wherefore then dost thou ask of me, seeing the LORD is departed from thee, and is become thine enemy?

17 And the LORD hath done to him, as he spake by me: for the LORD hath rent the kingdom out of thine hand, and given it to thy neighbour, even to David:

When the LORD is your enemy, you are probably gonna lose. (Unless you have iron chariots).

18 Because thou obeyedst not the voice of the LORD, nor executedst his fierce wrath upon Amalek, therefore hath the LORD done this thing unto thee this day.

All this because Saul didn't kill Amalek right away.

19 Moreover the LORD will also deliver Israel with thee into the hand of the Philistines: and to morrow shalt thou and thy sons be with me: the LORD also shall deliver the host of Israel into the hand of the Philistines.

Once again, we see how God not only leaves people, but he also gives them away. Once again, during "footprints in the sand", we see that God wasn't carrying them, but was over at the picnic table flirting with the pretty girl.

Also, in that verse, we see Samuel calling for the death of Saul and his boys. Now Samuel says that Saul will be with him, he means in death, not in heaven. If you are God's enemy, you ain't going to heaven!

20 Then Saul fell straightway all along on the earth, and was sore afraid, because of the words of Samuel: and there was no strength in him; for he had eaten no bread all the day, nor all the night.

Maybe he was weak because a ghost just told him he would die the next day.

The witch, then offered Saul some food, but he refused, but then some of his men talked him in to eating.

1 Samuel 29

1 Now the Philistines gathered together all their armies to Aphek: and the Israelites pitched by a fountain which is in Jezreel.

The forces are moving closer together.

2 And the lords of the Philistines passed on by hundreds, and by thousands: but David and his men passed on in the rereward with Achish.

Remember, David and his men were acting as bodyguards for Achish (and were probably gonna turn on him and kill him during the battle).

3 Then said the princes of the Philistines, What do these Hebrews here? And Achish said unto the princes of the Philistines, Is not this David, the servant of Saul the king of Israel, which hath been with me these days, or these years, and I have found no fault in him since he fell unto me unto this day?

David hid his slaughtering of the Philistines really well from Achish.

5 Is not this David, of whom they sang one to another in dances, saying, Saul slew his thousands, and David his ten thousands?

They sang that, even though David had only killed Goliath at the time. He later did kill the 200 for their foreskins, and then on various raids, but ten thousands, I'm not sure he got up to that number... yet.

6 Then Achish called David, and said unto him, Surely, as the LORD liveth, thou hast been upright, and thy going out and thy coming in with me in the host is good in my sight: for I have not found evil in thee since the day of thy coming unto me unto this day: nevertheless the lords favour thee not.

Wow, Achish is blessing David, even though he's a Philistine. Not only that, David has not been upright with Achish.

7 Wherefore now return, and go in peace, that thou displease not the lords of the Philistines.

8 And David said unto Achish, But what have I done? and what hast thou found in thy servant so long as I have been with thee unto this day, that I may not go fight against the enemies of my lord the king?

David REALLY wanted to betray Achish in this coming battle.

David and his men then went back home, while the Philistines went up to the battle.

1 Samuel 30

1 And it came to pass, when David and his men were come to Ziklag on the third day, that the Amalekites had invaded the south, and Ziklag, and smitten Ziklag, and burned it with fire;

DAMN THOSE AMALEKITES!!! DAMN THEM TO HELL!!!

But that is a pretty sound strategy, when someone leaves the town to go off to war, go attack their vulnerable cities.

2 And had taken the women captives, that were therein: they slew not any, either great or small, but carried them away, and went on their way.

Like pirates, they just came for booty and boo-tay.

4Then David and the people that were with him lifted up their voice and wept, until they had no more power to weep.

Are they just gonna sit around and cry over their missing things, or are they gonna go do something about it?

6 And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.

Robin Hood's merry men wanted to kill Robin.

7 And David said to Abiathar the priest, Ahimelech's son, I pray thee, bring me hither the ephod. And Abiathar brought thither the ephod to David.

8 And David enquired at the LORD, saying, Shall I pursue after this troop? shall I overtake them? And he answered him, Pursue: for thou shalt surely overtake them, and without fail recover all.

God still talked to David. Just not to Saul.

9 So David went, he and the six hundred men that were with him, and came to the brook Besor, where those that were left behind stayed.

10 But David pursued, he and four hundred men: for two hundred abode behind, which were so faint that they could not go over the brook Besor.

How weak do you have to be to not go over a brook?

David found an Egyptian slave to an Amalekite, and nursed him back to health so he could take them to the Amalekite camp.

16 And when he had brought him down, behold, they were spread abroad upon all the earth, eating and drinking, and dancing, because of all the great spoil that they had taken out of the land of the Philistines, and out of the land of Judah.

So the Amalekites didn't just steal from Ziklag, they were out plundering the Philistine land, and the land of Judah too. They were out stealing and destroying from everyone who was in the battle. Those Amalekites definately are bad people.

17 And David smote them from the twilight even unto the evening of the next day: and there escaped not a man of them, save four hundred young men, which rode upon camels, and fled.

Crap, now they are gonna have to kill 400 more people later.

18 And David recovered all that the Amalekites had carried away: and David rescued his two wives.

Abigail (the hottie) and Nabal.

19 And there was nothing lacking to them, neither small nor great, neither sons nor daughters, neither spoil, nor any thing that they had taken to them: David recovered all.

20 And David took all the flocks and the herds, which they drave before those other cattle, and said, This is David's spoil.

PRAISE JESUS, they found everything that was taken from them (of course, most of the stuff was things that they had taken from the Philistines on their raids of their land).

Some of the men wanted to not give of the spoils of war to the 200 that stayed behind, but David said that everyone got their part. In addition, David sent tribute to elders of the people of Israel.

1 Samuel 31

1 Now the Philistines fought against Israel: and the men of Israel fled from before the Philistines, and fell down slain in mount Gilboa.

Chickens!

2 And the Philistines followed hard upon Saul and upon his sons; and the Philistines slew Jonathan, and Abinadab, and Melchishua, Saul's sons.

Not Jonathan?!??!! (Who was NOT having a romantic relationship with David!?!?!)

3 And the battle went sore against Saul, and the archers hit him; and he was sore wounded of the archers.

First Saul's sons die, then he gets hit by arrows.

4 Then said Saul unto his armourbearer, Draw thy sword, and thrust me through therewith; lest these uncircumcised come and thrust me through, and abuse me. But his armourbearer would not; for he was sore afraid. Therefore Saul took a sword, and fell upon it.

Samurai Saul commits Hari Kari.

5 And when his armourbearer saw that Saul was dead, he fell likewise upon his sword, and died with him.

So, Saul and his boys are all dead :'(

6 So Saul died, and his three sons, and his armourbearer, and all his men, that same day together.

That's a bad day.

7 And when the men of Israel that were on the other side of the valley, and they that were on the other side Jordan, saw that the men of Israel fled, and that Saul and his sons were dead, they forsook the cities, and fled; and the Philistines came and dwelt in them.

The king died, so everyone went and left town. The Philistines then moved into the vacated homes.

8 And it came to pass on the morrow, when the Philistines came to strip the slain, that they found Saul and his three sons fallen in mount Gilboa.

They came to get the armour, swords, and any loose change.

9 And they cut off his head, and stripped off his armour, and sent into the land of the Philistines round about, to publish it in the house of their idols, and among the people.

10 And they put his armour in the house of Ashtaroth: and they fastened his body to the wall of Bethshan.

The armour went on a tour of the land, showing off their great victory over Saul. But how good would Saul's armour actually be, if he could still fall on his sword and be killed?

12 All the valiant men arose, and went all night, and took the body of Saul and the bodies of his sons from the wall of Bethshan, and came to Jabesh, and burnt them there.

13 And they took their bones, and buried them under a tree at Jabesh, and fasted seven days.

Remember our discussion of a wall yesterday? Walls are good for hanging decapitated bodies from, not for pissing!

So what have we learned today?

1. Achish was really clueless.
2. Saul and his boys all died the same day, (kind of like Eli; except not all of his boys died).
3. Don't piss on a wall, hang a dead king from it!

YIC
V

[Ahimaaz Smith]

Thanks again, Brother V, for a magnificent dissertation on 1 Samuel. I can hardly wait to see what happens in the sequel. I have a few footnotes on today's reading that I cribbed from Professor Gantry's History of Israel 101 course at good old LCU:

Did Saul Enquire of God?

And when Saul enquired of the LORD, the LORD answered him not, neither by dreams, nor by Urim, nor by prophets. Then said Saul unto his servants, Seek me a woman that hath a familiar spirit, that I may go to her, and enquire of her. 1 Samuel 28:6-7

So Saul died for his transgression which he committed against the LORD, even against the word of the LORD, which he kept not, and also for asking counsel of one that had a familiar spirit, to enquire of it; And enquired not of the LORD: therefore he slew him, and turned the kingdom unto David the son of Jesse. 1 Chronicles 10:13-14

There is no contradiction here. As should be obvious to anyone with half a brain, these refer to two completely separate enquiries. In 1 Samuel, Saul enquired of the Lord what to do about the assembled Philistine multitudes, but the Lord failed to answer (which makes perfect sense--if God takes time out of his very busy schedule to assemble an army for you, use it, stupid). In 1 Chronicles, Saul was killed in part for failing to enquire of the Lord whether Saul could ask the witch of Endor what to do about the Philistines. Anyone who claims otherwise is probably a Philistine himself.

Vision of the "Gods"

And the woman said unto Saul, I saw gods ascending out of the earth. 1 Samuel 28:13

I don't think it's even worth mentioning that just because a servant of Satan like the witch of Endor says she saw "gods" in a vision, that doesn't mean that there really are more gods other than the one true God.

The "Many Deaths" of Saul

Therefore Saul took a sword, and fell upon it. 1 Samuel 31:4, repeated in 1 Chronicles 10:4

And David said unto the young man that told him, How knowest thou that Saul... be dead? And the young man that told him... Saul leaned upon his spear... and he said unto me, Who art thou? And I answered him, I am an Amalekite... He said unto me again, Stand, I pray thee, upon me, and slay me: for anguish is come upon me, because my life is yet whole in me. So I stood upon him, and slew him. 2 Samuel 1:5-10

And David... took the bones of Saul and the bones of Jonathan his son from the men of Jabeshgilead, which had stolen them from the street of Bethshan, where the Philistines had hanged them, when the Philistines had slain Saul in Gilboa: 2 Samuel 21:12

So Saul died for his transgression which he committed against the LORD, even against the word of the LORD, which he kept not, and also for asking counsel of one that had a familiar spirit, to enquire of it; And enquired not of the LORD: therefore he slew him, and turned the kingdom unto David the son of Jesse. 1 Chronicles 10:14

I wish I had a silver shekel for every time some short-bus riding athiest told me that Saul died four separate ways in the Bible. Here are the facts: God finally had enough of taking crap from his annointed king, so he caused Saul be so panicked by the Philistine hordes that Saul, in desperation, killed himself by falling upon a sword. Later, an Amalekite falsely claimed that he had killed Saul, hoping to collect a reward from David. The Amalekite did indeed receive his just reward from David. One death for Saul, three equally valid interpretations, and one Amalekite lie. End of story.

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Originally Posted by Brother V

1 Samuel 28:12 And when the woman saw Samuel, she cried with a loud voice: and the woman spake to Saul, saying, Why hast thou deceived me? for thou art Saul.

It took seeing the dead guy for her to realize it was the king.

A witch can't really bring souls of the dead out of Heaven or Hell -- only God can do that. What she really does is to conjure up her familiar spirit, and it merely impersonates whoever it is that the customer wants to see.

This witch was caught totally off guard when, instead of her familiar spirit, the real Samuel showed up. She certainly wasn't expecting that. She knew that only the LORD could have caused that to happen, and deduced that her customer was none other than Saul himself.

Pastor Billy-Reuben