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I will turn 18 one week from today. -
08-07-2019, 07:51 PM
Time is running out for me. My Pa is franticly looking for an appropriate Christian suitor for me to marry so that I may fulfill my womanly duties of caring for a man and breeding future soldiers for Christ. My birthday is one week from today and I will be graduating from Sunday School and start attending congregation with the other adults at my church. This is a bit overwhelming but I must read over my cooking practice again just to be sure I don’t mess anything up. This is a bright side as well in that next year I will be able to vote for Donald J Trump to be re elected!
My question for the good people of Freehold. Do you have any advice for me? I also intend to update my profile picture on my birthday in order to more accurately show how I look today as opposed to how I used to look as a kid. (Gosh that picture of me is from over two years ago)
My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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Re: I will turn 18 one week from today. -
08-07-2019, 08:09 PM
What's concerning to me is how you're getting on in years and still haven't been locked down by that future husband (whoever that might be (me? jk :p, maybe ) ) You might want keep your profile photo as is while you still look nubile, to not dissuade the pickings!
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Re: I will turn 18 one week from today. -
08-07-2019, 08:12 PM
Maxine, are you absolutely 100% sure about your age? Because when you joined these forums your introduction thread HERE was entitled My name is Maxine Levantine and I am almost 18. Now that was on July 8 2018. I know Math is one of the many things which could be classified as "not your strong point", but if you were almost 18 around 13 months ago, then you are now almost 19, if not 19 already. That is just simple arithmetic. Personally, I have long been puzzled by your signature, which reads:
Quote:
My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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As to this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleReader2231
My question for the good people of Freehold. Do you have any advice for me?
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My advice to you would be to check your birth certificate. I would certainly not marry the son of my worst enemy to any woman of questionable age!
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,729
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Re: I will turn 18 one week from today. -
08-07-2019, 08:20 PM
My advice would be to pray in earnest. If God loves you, He'll answer your prayer. Sometimes He speaks very cleverly though, so cleverly it appears to the unregenerate soul as mere coincidences, or simple cause and effect. So be vigilant and let no circumstance go unanalyzed.
Then again, it could be that like Lazarus in the tomb, you are but dead to Him and must simply await His calling. In that case, there's not much you can do other than wait. And try not to stink.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Re: I will turn 18 one week from today. -
08-07-2019, 08:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey
Maxine, are you absolutely 100% sure about your age?
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Hi Joanna,
I know math is hard for we ladies, believe me I know! I imagine Maxine was home-schooled as she ought to. Is is possible she was going by Biblical numerics? Remember, Adam lived to 930, which seems impossible today, but it really happened! So maybe Maxine is living by a Bible-based clock. In my own case, I've been with child sometime now since Mr. Moans passed. It's been well over a year, almost two now, but I'm not one to question God's sometimes odd miracles!
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Re: I will turn 18 one week from today. -
08-07-2019, 09:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DolliMoans
Hi Joanna,
I know math is hard for we ladies, believe me I know! I imagine Maxine was home-schooled as she ought to. Is is possible she was going by Biblical numerics? Remember, Adam lived to 930, which seems impossible today, but it really happened! So maybe Maxine is living by a Bible-based clock. In my own case, I've been with child sometime now since Mr. Moans passed. It's been well over a year, almost two now, but I'm not one to question God's sometimes odd miracles!
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I’m not home schooled, but being raised in the Deep South, our public school system has a lot of faith based academics. I must say I’m surprised at your knowledge of biblical ages. On that note, I go by the birthdate assigned to me according to what my Pa says. I don’t question what I’m told because I have no reason to. I trust in my Pa as I trust in God.
My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
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Re: I will turn 18 one week from today. -
08-08-2019, 01:16 AM
Oh, my stars, dear Sister Maxine -- you're soon to be leaving your teenage years (give or take a year or two, if I'm reading things correctly), and how I can sense your excitement. Eighteen! Gracious, I was 18 once upon a time, too. I'm sure you might find that hard to believe, but it's true. You must be very keen about all of this. Do you feel that you've been receiving sufficient training to cook good, wholesome, delicious meals for your future husband? Do you find yourself feeling confident in the duties that will be yours in the future? Being a good mother, a wonderful cook, and a loving wife to support and love your husband at all times, (and cheerfully so) is a great responsibility, but it's also a blessing from the .
Proverbs 12:4 "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones."
Do feel free to call upon me if you think that I can share any practical advice that might be of benefit to you, dear Sister Maxine.
A blessed evening to you,
Sincerely, Isabella W.
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
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Re: I will turn 18 one week from today. -
08-08-2019, 02:20 AM
Ever since Matthew ran off to the Landover Pride Parade or whatever it was called, your Pa has stopped all contact with my husband regarding a courtship. I would offer Mark up, but I'd like to have Matthew married first as he's the oldest. Best wishes to you, and I hope you get married before your birthday and you become an old maid!
Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
1 Corinthians 11:13
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Re: I will turn 18 one week from today. -
08-08-2019, 06:52 PM
Dearest Dana,
I believe last I heard about your dear Matthew was him “pitching” every day with Brother Larry’s Ex-Gay friends in California still. It sounds like he’s training hard with them. Perhaps he’s busy still. Next you’ll see him is on tv playing MLB. Maybe my Pa won’t return your calls because Matthew may end up playing for the LA Dodgers instead of the Anaheim Angels?
My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
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Re: I will turn 18 one week from today. -
08-08-2019, 11:58 PM
Sister Max
Regardless of your correct age, the man who ends up with you will never be the same. I will pray for him daily, because he will need it. What a catch.
BrotherLarry
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
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Re: I will turn 18 one week from today. -
08-09-2019, 12:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry
Sister Max
Regardless of your correct age, the man who ends up with you will never be the same. I will pray for him daily, because he will need it. What a catch.
BrotherLarry
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Mister Larry,
Your kind words have touched my heart dearly. I am sure that whomever I marry will deeply appreciate your prayers. I hope and pray that the man I marry is much like you with those kind sentiments.
My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
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Re: I will turn 18 one week from today. -
08-09-2019, 01:45 PM
I have done nothing to deserve a female like you. I am sure God has a plan for you and I wouldn’t be surprised to hear wedding bells in your near future.
Have no regrets about Dana’s son. The Lord blessed him with a ministry to which he must commit fully at this time and he will have to pick his own help meet. You just wait and watch for God to work a miracle in finding someone who is right for you.
Praying,
BrotherLarry
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
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Re: I will turn 18 one week from today. -
08-09-2019, 10:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleReader2231
Dearest Dana,
I believe last I heard about your dear Matthew was him “pitching” every day with Brother Larry’s Ex-Gay friends in California still. It sounds like he’s training hard with them. Perhaps he’s busy still. Next you’ll see him is on tv playing MLB. Maybe my Pa won’t return your calls because Matthew may end up playing for the LA Dodgers instead of the Anaheim Angels?
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He did come home, exhausted, and drenched with the Holy Spirit! He mentioned something about pitching and catching, but also something about bears. I'm not sure - he was rambling so. But isn't there a baseball team called the Bears? It would be so exciting to have a son play MLB!
Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
1 Corinthians 11:13
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Re: I will turn 18 one week from today. -
08-09-2019, 10:37 PM
By any chance is he still available? Asking for my Pa’s concerns.
My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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Re: I will turn 18 one week from today. -
08-09-2019, 10:54 PM
I am not sure but I will ask my husband. He was talking to another man about Matthew marrying his daughter, but I'm unsure as to the outcome.
Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
1 Corinthians 11:13
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Re: I will turn 18 one week from today. -
08-10-2019, 10:20 PM
Update time: It would appear that my Pa is in hasty negotiations with a few potential suitors. One of the front runners has caught my eye. I won’t release his name just yet but he is a Christian through and through. He has a child from a previous wife who had an unexpected accident falling down some stairs. I’m okay with that as he did not sivorce the woman. He has stairs! It can only mean he owns a two story house at least! Here’s a picture of him.
It’s convincing to say the least. On an unrelated note, I found my late Mama’s wedding dress. I plan to wear it when I am wed. This is an old photo taken a long time ago when my parents married. Pa has grown much since then. I hope the wedding dress will fit me....
My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
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Re: I will turn 18 one week from today. -
08-11-2019, 01:36 PM
I just knew you came from livestock. Um I mean good stock. You are becoming just as radiant as your mother. I bet the ladies here would like to know how your mother got so lucky to get a hunk like your dad.
And by the way, Matthew is involved in a big deal with some men in Chicago and yes they are bears. In between that and his ministry he has no time for the weaker gender. Glory glory glory!
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
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Re: I will turn 18 one week from today. -
08-11-2019, 09:32 PM
Oh, my, dear Sister Maxine: How your first photo brings back memories of when my beloved father and your Grampy used to go to meetings at the same church. I remember how Father used to come home afterward, so pleased with what these mighty men of had accomplished.
Your second photo is very interesting, too. I'd imagine that your dear Pa has filled out a bit since the days when he was as green as a grasshopper, especially with your mother's cooking. I mean, if it worked for her, then it must have worked for him, too.
As for your lovely wedding dress possibly not fitting correctly, here's a tip from this old seamstress: just let out the darts. There's usually enough "give and take" within the seams to loosen up your frock a bit.
Sincerely, Isabella W.
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
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Re: I will turn 18 one week from today. -
08-12-2019, 03:31 PM
Sister Isabella, I dearly appreciate you finding a video of my parent’s wedding. It brings tears to my eyes.
My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
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Posts: 4,849
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Re: I will turn 18 one week from today. -
08-12-2019, 04:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleReader2231
Sister Isabella, I dearly appreciate you finding a video of my parent’s wedding. It brings tears to my eyes.
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Oh, you are more than welcome, dear Sister Maxine. I was pleased when I found the video of the wedding of your parents, and I wanted to share it with you first, before having it go online. This must bring back some happy memories for you. Are you the little flower girl in the video?
For some reason, the video does not play for me on my computer from our site, but just clicking on the title takes me to that Youtube contraption, so I've seen it once again there.
Now, when you've finally made your arrangements for your big day, don't forget to keep me informed, as I would like to make the cake for your wedding. I've thought of making it similar to the one in the attached photo, if this meets with your approval.
A blessed day to you, dear Sister Maxine,
Sincerely, Isabella W.
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
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