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Default Re: Was Jesus Swarthy? (Emo-rama 2020 Debate, round four) - 12-10-2020, 07:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
Good one Sister Mitza. Did one kill Jesus and the other not???
My best guess is "Literally Jewish" is someone who is not Jewish, but reads a lot of Jewish "literature".


It does not fit Jesus description, though.


Hey, I thought the issue of Jesus not having Mary's and/or Joseph's DNA was already established, but here we go again. Jesus is the son of God. NOT OF HUMANS. He only used Mary as a subrogate. Why? We don't know, and we don't ask. Jesus could have "literally" been born out of a rock. Or in a bigger Empire (chinese). Or in Rome.


Or God could have come Himself. And say to everyone "Hey I am thy God, I am the Light and create Evil" to everyone. He chose to whisper that into Moses. Misterious ways, you know?


Jesus could have been purple if He wanted to. It does not take more power to transform yourself into purple than to transform water into wine, or to multiply the fishes.


I am sure God had His reasons to make things in a certain way. I am not to question God. I am to obey God.


I am also sure that you as an atheist can understand how the debate of the color of Jesus' skin is only motivated by racism. You want to "demote" our God because Him having a brown child. That is racist. We could not care less about Jesus color, He just happened to be white. In the same way white gardeners are not forbidden, they just happen to be brown. Or cotton pickers are mostly black. We are color blind: there is no Greek nor Jew, you know? Read your Bible again.


1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.
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Default Re: Evaluating the 2024 Candidates: An Ongoing Thread - 12-10-2020, 09:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by emochildofgod View Post
The Bible never described Jesus' physical appearance.
Yes. IT DOES! If you read God's message about Salvation and the need for Redemption you'd know all about Jesus, including His complexion.

I have read 100 pages of a D. H. Lawrence book. It was right up there with Mein Kampf, the communist manifesto & the koran for world's most boring literature prize (maybe even beating the commie document which actually contains one joke) but say someone mentioned a Lawrence character, I just looked one up: Gertrude Coppard, about whom I know nothing never having read the book; say you suggest she is in fact Chinese; say I disagree claiming instead that she's a Martian; what would you think of me?

Can you see where this is headed?
A blue Martian. Despite the fact everyone knows, that Martians are green. Then I provide fantastic examples of why magnesium blood is the only type available on Mars due to some arbitrary dogma I picked up somewhere I can't remember where or is it even a book someone once said, this sentence being an example of the posting style necessary for such ideas to make sense whether or not if they even do at all.

I have decided to include a picture of Martian blood which, since it is green, makes sure that Gertrude Coppard is blue given ambient conditions in her mothers fatherland.

Code:
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Default Re: Was Jesus Swarthy? (Emo-rama 2020 Debate, round four) - 12-11-2020, 01:25 PM

For the tangent where I listen to MCR in return for a COVID cure, click here.
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Default Re: Was Jesus Swarthy? (Emo-rama 2020 Debate, round four) - 12-11-2020, 06:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Gonzalez View Post

Jesus could have been purple if He wanted to.
So true, Brother. Of course, He wisely choose to avoid this because it would have created confusion during the most significant moments of His time on earth.

John 19:2
And the soldiers plated a crown of thorns, and put it on His head, and they put on Him a purple robe.

We know that Jesus's suffering and execution were meant to be public events because all of God's Plans Throughout Human History were leading to that Great, Selfless Act of Sacrifice. It is literally what He came here to do.

Being purple-complected would have made as much sense as the Romans plating someone's hair into a crown for Jesus's head.

As we know, God is not lacking in showmanship. (See Noah's Ark re: the rainbow, the Red Sea re: the parting of and the walls of Jericho re: the tumbling down.) When He needs us to remember something, He has the smarts to add drama to His storytelling. Wardrobe and makeup are an important aspect of crafting such accounts.

Even your average Emo seems to understand this, as the narrative of their imagined sorrow and isolation is told through their dreadful choices of hairstyling and limited palette of clothing colors. (Apparently, they are encouraged to show "how they feel" all the time, and actual words are not adequate to this task.)

So, while Jesus could very well have chosen to be purple, He knew at the beginning of creation that such a monochromatic look would have undercut His message. He chose to be white, and we know this because the Bible demonstrates His genealogy from the House of David and David was described thusly: "Now he was ruddy, and withal of a beautiful countenance, and goodly to look to." (1 Samuel 16:12)

Now, of course, this information isn't going to sit well with some of our readers, who are more interested in their own hive-minded perspective than learning about what the Bible has to say about anything. But there are some things that cannot be helped. The Bible says what it says, and if you want to know about Jesus, that's where you go. And if you want to know about the Bible, then Landover Baptist is where you come.


Presumably, that is why our Emo collective chose to wander onto this site, no?


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Default Re: Was Jesus Swarthy? (Emo-rama 2020 Debate, round four) - 12-12-2020, 02:28 AM

I was wrong. I've left Rebekkah Smith and my sinful ways of sodomy. I need to find a good christian man. I need a man. I belong in the kitchen, instead of the workforce. In all seriousness, I've had an epiphany- a revelation if you will. In listening to "Dead!" by My Gay Romance- I realized a lyric I never heard before.
Quote:
Wouldn't it be grandto take a pistol by the hand,
and wouldn't it be great if we were
dead.

This DEMON is encouraging his young following to kill themselves! I'm lucky to have survived this long. I thank you for your prayers, as you have helped me see the light and the truth of the demons around me. I'm searching for a new man, and I have three contenders.

1: Jason- likes food, hard working, and kind.
2: Noah- Strict, muscular, and a businessman
3: Kyle- Republican, strict, likes food, and a farmer.

please, help me choose. I'm moving back in with my parents tomorrow. Thank you for all your kind words and prayers as i move forward on my journey to godliness.

A new HETEROSEXUAL WOMAN,
-Kaylee
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Default Re: Was Jesus Swarthy? (Emo-rama 2020 Debate, round four) - 12-12-2020, 03:01 AM

So...




No cure for COVID?
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Default Re: Was Jesus Swarthy? (Emo-rama 2020 Debate, round four) - 12-12-2020, 03:41 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by _The Earthling_ View Post
So...




No cure for COVID?

what whats that got to do with kaylee??? omg cant u even read. kayle dont fall for whatever these christian werdos are saying. log off and dont come back. see some friends in real life promise me ok
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Default Re: Was Jesus Swarthy? (Emo-rama 2020 Debate, round four) - 12-12-2020, 06:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by no_emo_no_cry View Post
what whats that got to do with kaylee??? omg cant u even read. kayle dont fall for whatever these christian werdos are saying. log off and dont come back. see some friends in real life promise me ok
Oh dear Lord, can't you even write? Not one of your five sentences were correct.


And if this young Kaylee person has been moved by the Holy Spirit to reject Satan and all his devious works, then we should be giving thanks.


To Kaylee and all those visiting Landover Baptist seeking knowledge-- I say, read the Bible and open your eyes to the Truth®.


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

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Default Re: Was Jesus Swarthy? (Emo-rama 2020 Debate, round four) - 12-12-2020, 03:33 PM

For the record, I was the one that suggested reading Lamentations.

It's all about knowing your target market. You're welcome.
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Default Re: Was Jesus Swarthy? (Emo-rama 2020 Debate, round four) - 12-12-2020, 04:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by no_emo_no_cry View Post
what whats that got to do with kaylee??? omg cant u even read. kayle dont fall for whatever these christian werdos are saying. log off and dont come back. see some friends in real life promise me ok
do you have discord? I'll tell you my reasoning there.
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Rebuke Re: Was Jesus Swarthy? (Emo-rama 2020 Debate, round four) - 12-12-2020, 04:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by emochildofgod View Post
do you have discord? I'll tell you my reasoning there.
Of course there is no discord! We all agree with Jesus as expressed in the Bible! Discords are for liars!

Proverbs 6:19
A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.



Yours in Christ,

Elmer


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Jesus Re: Was Jesus Swarthy? (Emo-rama 2020 Debate, round four) - 12-12-2020, 04:24 PM

Incidentally, here is the proof that Jesus was and is and shall be white. What we know about Him comes from the Bible and the Bible tells us as follows:

Revelation 1:14
His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire;


Yours in Christ,

Elmer


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