[Larry Lee]

Here at Landover Baptist Church, we're as giddy as schoolgirls getting their first taste of saddlebacked virginity.... Who would have thought that the momentum of overturning Roe v. Wade and castrating EPA would so quickly have brought the deep and Holy cleansing of our civil life? We're happily in afterglow. It's like Jesus said in Matthew 21:13 when He threw shade at the moneychangers and then followed through on it:

"My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of progressive malfeasance."

What's filled our wineskins with new blood is Senator John Cornyn's call for Clarence Thomas to step-and-fetch the overturn of Brown v. Board of Education. We don't need no stinkin Negroes in our public schools! Let them take their remedial classes in overcoming their ebonics disability in their own schools in their own neighborhoods... Jesus! God knows all of them need Individualized Learning Plans! Mescegenation in public education does nothing for our kids but introduce them to the horror of Beyoncé.

That's why John Cornyn's leadership in addressing the current fad for race mixing is so special to us....

Brother John is the senior Senator from Texas, and in Texas, they're teaching us new lessons in how to celebrate our nation's originalist, three-fifths foundations.