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Reload this Page POLL: Do women have souls?
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View Poll Results: Do women have souls?
NO, they have NO SOULS! 21,001 99.79%
YES, I believe God gave them 1/350th of a soul! 45 0.21%
Voters: 21046. You may not vote on this poll

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Default Re: POLL: Do women have souls? - 05-12-2008, 07:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maggoty Old Crone View Post
Since I have electricity and a computer, I guess I must be one of Jesus' elect. As must be every hacker, spammer, and virus generator.
Every square is a rectangle. Not every rectangle is a square. Are you still in the second grade?


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Cursed be he that doeth the work of the Lord deceitfully, and cursed be he that keepeth back his sword from blood.
– Jer. 48:10
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Default Re: POLL: Do women have souls? - 05-12-2008, 07:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Virginia D. Templeton View Post
Every square is a rectangle. Not every rectangle is a square. Are you still in the second grade?
I was just following BJ's logic. Not my fault if his logic is flawed.


Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!
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Default Re: POLL: Do women have souls? - 05-12-2008, 10:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maggoty Old Crone View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maggoty Old Crone
It does no such thing.

How would you know, you don't have one?




I have both a soul and a copy of the Bible, so exactly what is it you think I lack?
How much time do you have? I think the answer to that will require a whole new thread and a lot more bandwidth.




Ec:7:16: Be not righteous over much; neither make thyself over wise: why shouldest thou destroy thyself?

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Default Re: POLL: Do women have souls? - 05-13-2008, 12:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
How much time do you have? I think the answer to that will require a whole new thread and a lot more bandwidth.

Go for it. This should be hilarious.


Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!
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Default Re: POLL: Do women have souls? - 05-15-2008, 06:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dodger556 View Post
Sure, you say they're His gift to us now, but what about your sect back in the late 1800's and early 1900's? Judging by how this lot presents itself, I'd be sure to bet that your great great grandpa was toting electricity as "evil" and your grandpa declaring computers as "horrid things." It's funny, since you're using them now, claiming to be all innocent and such, how would your ancestors take that?
Just to satisfy you, I'm going to research what any member of Landover was thinking about computers in the early 1900's.

Hey, here's a time-saver! I already know! They were thinking, "Computers? Those haven't been invented yet."




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Default Re: POLL: Do women have souls? - 05-15-2008, 08:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maggoty Old Crone View Post
I was just following BJ's logic. Not my fault if his logic is flawed.
"Logic" belongs to the Domain of Men™; we ladies ought not be worrying our small yet womanly brains about such matters. Indeed, thinking too much leads to the sprouting of mustaches, and we don't want that, do we? No, of course not! Looking lovely for the menfolk is our duty ... even at our old age, dear.

Follow my advice, and you'll be moving from "Maggoty" to "Marvellous" in no time!


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Default Re: POLL: Do women have souls? - 05-15-2008, 12:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Rogers View Post
"Logic" belongs to the Domain of Men™; we ladies ought not be worrying our small yet womanly brains about such matters. Indeed, thinking too much leads to the sprouting of mustaches, and we don't want that, do we?

Where did you get that ridiculous idea?

Looking lovely for the menfolk is our duty ... even at our old age, dear.

Speak for yourself - I'm not old, I'm middle-aged, and my husband tells me I look damn good.



Follow my advice, and you'll be moving from "Maggoty" to "Marvellous" in no time!
The "maggoty" moniker was LBC's doing, not mine. I'm quite harpy with the way I look, and the way I think.


Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

Last edited by Bobby-Joe; 05-16-2008 at 08:46 PM. Reason: Spelling error, I assume that's what she meant by "hapy"
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Default Re: POLL: Do women have souls? - 05-15-2008, 02:51 PM

Good gentlemen, if I may most humbly state my feelings:

There is that within me that calls to my Creator
And there is that within me that responds to His answering Voice.

I don't know whether this indicates the presence of (part of) a soul, but it does reflect my personal experience--especially on Sundays at worship in the main sanctuary at Landover Baptist Church.


Mark 16:17 And these attesting signs will accompany those who believe: in My Name they will drive out demons.

1 Kings 21:14 Then they sent to Jezebel, saying, Naboth is stoned . . .

A SPIRITUAL WARFARE PRAYER:
Father, In Jesus' Name, I take the Blood of Jesus and break the power of all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, sorcerers, wiccans, pagans, and any other source, and all of their rituals off of us. With the Blood of Jesus, I erase all evil lines drawn on our liver. . .

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Default Re: POLL: Do women have souls? - 05-15-2008, 06:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Justina Thyme View Post
Good gentlemen, if I may most humbly state my feelings:

There is that within me that calls to my Creator
And there is that within me that responds to His answering Voice.

I don't know whether this indicates the presence of (part of) a soul, but it does reflect my personal experience--especially on Sundays at worship in the main sanctuary at Landover Baptist Church.
Don't worry, sweet Justina. I'm quite sure if God had to choose the most worthy women to give a soul to, you would be the first in line. Praise!
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Default Re: POLL: Do women have souls? - 05-15-2008, 11:10 PM

Do women have souls?

!NO!

Do women have hearts?

!!!NO!!!

Do women deserve our pity?

!!!!!NO!!!!!
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Default Re: POLL: Do women have souls? - 05-16-2008, 06:17 AM

If you Landoverites believe in the truth of the entire KJV 1611 Bible, then you must believe that women have souls:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Genesis 35:16-19
And they journeyed from Bethel; and there was but a little way to come to Ephrath: and Rachel travailed, and she had hard labour. And it came to pass, when she was in hard labour, that the midwife said unto her, Fear not; thou shalt have this son also. And it came to pass, as her soul was in departing, (for she died) that she called his name Benoni: but his father called him Benjamin. And Rachel died, and was buried in the way to Ephrath, which is Bethlehem.
Emphasis added.

For you own sanity, O men of Landover, I do recommend that you not declare that women have no souls. Much better to do a tactical retreat than to tread upon that minefield.


...as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:12-14 (emphasis mine)
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Default Re: POLL: Do women have souls? - 05-16-2008, 07:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by StarrKingGrad View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Genesis 35:16-19
And they journeyed from Bethel; and there was but a little way to come to Ephrath: and Rachel travailed, and she had hard labour. And it came to pass, when she was in hard labour, that the midwife said unto her, Fear not; thou shalt have this son also. And it came to pass, as her soul was in departing, (for she died) that she called his name Benoni: but his father called him Benjamin. And Rachel died, and was buried in the way to Ephrath, which is Bethlehem.
So Rev. Green was right. Women have 1/350th of a soul. What remains unclear is whether or not God saves more than one out of every 350 women.


Newt

I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
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Default Re: POLL: Do women have souls? - 05-16-2008, 07:54 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Lee View Post
So Rev. Green was right. Women have 1/350th of a soul. What remains unclear is whether or not God saves more than one out of every 350 women.
It is still somewhat ambiguous Brother Lee. God could have been looking for some kind of representative democracy by accepting one out of every 350 women. On the other hand, He could let women in with 1/350th of a soul and they could continue to have a minor role in the affairs of heaven in the same proportions as here on earth.

I have heard that there are women that enthusiastically drink sperm, perhaps in the mistaken notion that they could acquire more than their fractional allocation of a soul. By that measure they would have to drink it only 349 times.


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Default Re: POLL: Do women have souls? - 05-16-2008, 09:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by StarrKingGrad View Post
If you Landoverites believe in the truth of the entire KJV 1611 Bible, then you must believe that women have souls:
Genesis 35:16-19
And they journeyed from Bethel; and there was but a little way to come to Ephrath: and Rachel travailed, and she had hard labour. And it came to pass, when she was in hard labour, that the midwife said unto her, Fear not; thou shalt have this son also. And it came to pass, as her soul was in departing, (for she died) that she called his name Benoni: but his father called him Benjamin. And Rachel died, and was buried in the way to Ephrath, which is Bethlehem..
Son, as Brother Bryan just said, this does NOT prove that God gave all women a soul. All this proves is that God gave RACHEL a soul - probably because of the kind of Godly woman she was.

Remember, Rachel was a good and loving wife to Jacob. She protected her husband against Laban, when she found out Laban was worshipping false Gods. She hid Laban's false idols from him, to protect her husband from satanic attack. Only a Godly woman would put her own life in danger like that, by standing against someone as dangerous as a satanic false-God-worshipping cultist, to protect her own husband! Glory! Rachel gave Jacob two sons, one of whom was Joseph, the other of whom, Benjamin, who she died in childbirth for. You would find it hard to find a more worthy woman. Obviously God gave her an immortal soul as a REWARD for all those things! Praise!

However, I have YET to find a passage in the Bible that teaches either that God that gave ALL women souls, or that secular woman have souls. Do you know why? BECAUSE THEY DON'T EXIST!

But at least we know that worthy True Christian women are given souls by God! Glory to God!

By this, then, we can take it that either -

1. God gives SOME women souls (The ones who deserve it)

or

2. That ALL women have 1/350th of a soul (Except for women with spina bifida, downs syndrome, thalidomide and other spastic retardations - all those have NO souls).


In Christ,

Rev RG Green
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Default Re: POLL: Do women have souls? - 05-16-2008, 07:46 PM

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Originally Posted by revrggreen View Post
But at least we know that worthy True Christian women are given souls by God! Glory to God!

By this, then, we can take it that either -

1. God gives SOME women souls (The ones who deserve it)

or

2. That ALL women have 1/350th of a soul (Except for women with spina bifida, downs syndrome, thalidomide and other spastic retardations - all those have NO souls).
I suppose God might personally intercede in human affairs and grant a soul to one out of every 350 women.

OR

Brother WJB might be onto something, when he suggests that some women pursue God's righteousness from a very pragmatic understanding of where Godliness resides.

Quote:
Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan View Post
I have heard that there are women that enthusiastically drink sperm, perhaps in the mistaken notion that they could acquire more than their fractional allocation of a soul. By that measure they would have to drink it only 349 times.
Given the Lord's perplexing lack of claity in regards to women and souls, let no man impede a sister's spiritual quest.


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Default Re: POLL: Do women have souls? - 05-18-2008, 06:05 AM

I'm going to start by stating that I believe that spirit and soul are made-up ideas created by humans to help cope with the idea that we're better than the animals that seperate us. From there, if there was anything designated such as a spirit or a soul, it is our consciousness, and both men and women have it.

Now that's out of me, let me propose alternative ideas to your theories. If you combined all the mass of the bones in a body, one rib has more mass than 1/350th of the combines mass, thus in total weight women must have more than 1/350th of a soul. Also, whose to say that God can't create woman from a single cell, I sure as hell am not or I might get another infraction? Thus I believe that the measured amount of a woman's soul should be the weight of one rib compared to the weight of the whole body.

Let me remind you, I don't believe in the "idea" of a soul, and if such a thing existed, then women and men equally share them.


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Default Re: POLL: Do women have souls? - 05-18-2008, 06:55 AM

First of all, forgive me Jesus for posting on the Men's forum. I voted NO. But I really don't think it matters because all of us women are daughters of EVE and besides being unclean possessions, we have beyond a shadow of doubt inherited the sins of EVE. To believe anything else is to go against the Bible and once you do that, you might as well be a Devil worshipper.

But I do think Jesus will take it easier on the Ladies of Landover, especially if we keep our husbands happy. HOPEFUL GLENDORA


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Default Re: POLL: Do women have souls? - 05-18-2008, 07:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
First of all, forgive me Jesus for posting on the Men's forum. I voted NO. But I really don't think it matters because all of us women are daughters of EVE and besides being unclean possessions, we have beyond a shadow of doubt inherited the sins of EVE. To believe anything else is to go against the Bible and once you do that, you might as well be a Devil worshipper.

But I do think Jesus will take it easier on the Ladies of Landover, especially if we keep our husbands happy. HOPEFUL GLENDORA
If you believe that you don't have a soul, then you are destined to go to Hell. If it does not matter, then you should live the life you have here, on earth, to the fullest. Be as happy as you can while you still have the choice to be happy.


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Default Re: POLL: Do women have souls? - 05-18-2008, 07:09 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LyingDingDong View Post
If you believe that you don't have a soul, then you are destined to go to Hell. If it does not matter, then you should live the life you have here, on earth, to the fullest. Be as happy as you can while you still have the choice to be happy.
This is OK advice for a fool who doesn't believe in GOD. But anyone who believes in GOD also believes in the Devil. Its sort of like peanut butter and jelly. Anyway, that old Devil is probably taking his Viagra right now in anticipation of your arrival.
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Default Re: POLL: Do women have souls? - 05-18-2008, 07:52 AM

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Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
This is OK advice for a fool who doesn't believe in GOD. But anyone who believes in GOD also believes in the Devil. Its sort of like peanut butter and jelly. Anyway, that old Devil is probably taking his Viagra right now in anticipation of your arrival.
What about your arrival? Do you not fear the rath of the devil?


I would like you to meet my imaginary friend, God.

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