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Default Re: Oral Sex is it wrong? - 04-07-2010, 04:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by godmocker1 View Post
theyre called ak47's they are the gun of terrorists. you should stuck to true american brands like benelli or beretta
Which part of "Men Only!" requires clarification?


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

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Default Re: Oral Sex is it wrong? - 04-07-2010, 04:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Enoch View Post
Being Canadian (to my great shame), I know nothing of firearms, I'm sure Brother James will make a suitable suggestion.
i have a limited knowledge. Brother James is most likely far more knowledgeable on the matter. However i would be happy to help if your stuck
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Default Re: Oral Sex is it wrong? - 04-07-2010, 05:01 PM

Oral sex, is that when you just talk about it?
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Default Re: Oral Sex is it wrong? - 04-07-2010, 05:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother T View Post
Oral sex, is that when you just talk about it?
I was afraid to ask, but I think it's when you have sex with this man



Which is wrong, because it's necrophilia.
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James Dewitt James Dewitt is offline
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Default Re: Oral Sex is it wrong? - 04-07-2010, 05:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Enoch View Post
Sorry for the delay, brother. I didn't expect that you had such incredible access to firearms. I had to work out how to get them across the border, so I made some inquiries. It turns out it's rather simple. You just present the border agent with one of these:



And you're waived through without a search of any kind. This works both at land crossings and at airports. I'm couriering a case to you today.

Do you have access to weapons like these? I don't know what they're called. I asked a neighbor who is part of the Canadian Army Reserves and he said they were called 'ray guns' and they didn't really exist. I don't think he's right.



If you do, would 6 be too many to ask for? I'd like to see Revenue Canada or Child Protective Services try bugging us again when we have 6 times the armament of the entire Canadian 'military'!
AK 47's are OK , these are better.I will send 6 M16's and 2 50cal machine guns . do you need a couple 30 30 hunting rifles? How are you on hand guns ?
Do you know a contractor to erect the cabin? I have made the arrangements to have it shipped next week . I purchased 20 acres of land near you . I will send the deed with the guns and ammo. Now when can I send my idiot son? Is your daughter happy on her pending marriage?
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Default Re: Oral Sex is it wrong? - 04-07-2010, 05:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt View Post
AK 47's are OK , these are better.I will send 6 M16's and 2 50cal machine guns . do you need a couple 30 30 hunting rifles? How are you on hand guns ?
Sweet! And yes 2 hunting rifles would be great! No handguns though, I don't want the wife to get a hold of one of those

Quote:
Do you know a contractor to erect the cabin?
Contractor? I'll just put it up myself on the weekend.

Quote:
I purchased 20 acres of land near you.
Good, good. I'll also let them farm 20% of my holdings (100 acres) for a reasonable portion of the harvest.
Quote:
Now when can I send my idiot son? Is your daughter happy on her pending marriage?
You can send him straight up. He can stay at the main house and help clear the 100 acres he'll be farming for me to support his new family.

My daughter is overjoyed. She's been bugging her mom about wanting to play 'grown up' for quite some time. She's particularly excited because I told her that he's not too much smarter than her. She was worried about that because the only person she has ever met who wasn't vastly her intellectual superior is her retarded younger brother. Don't worry about her dumbness though, she takes instruction well, adores discipline, has great cooking and cleaning skills and even has experience caring for infants (younger siblings).

About her lack of smarts. Don't worry too much about that being passed on to your grandkids. I'm pretty sure her mom was secretly hitting the hootch while she was pregnant with her. It's the Eskimo way. So my daughters damaged brain won't be passed on to her children.

One problem we're having is locating a proper Baptist minister to perform the wedding ceremony. Without that ceremony they can't start their lives together in their cabin. Do you know if any of the pastors at Landover would be willing to make the trip up?
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James Dewitt James Dewitt is offline
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Default Re: Oral Sex is it wrong? - 04-07-2010, 07:41 PM

=Brother Enoch;501415]
Quote:
Sweet! And yes 2 hunting rifles would be great! No handguns though, I don't want the wife to get a hold of one of those
Got it no hand guns.


Quote:
Contractor? I'll just put it up myself on the weekend.
You are a good man.

Quote:
Good, good. I'll also let them farm 20% of my holdings (100 acres) for a reasonable portion of the harvest.
That's very reasonable

Quote:
You can send him straight up. He can stay at the main house and help clear the 100 acres he'll be farming for me to support his new family.
Great I will fly him up in a few days

Quote:
My daughter is overjoyed. She's been bugging her mom about wanting to play 'grown up' for quite some time. She's particularly excited because I told her that he's not too much smarter than her. She was worried about that because the only person she has ever met who wasn't vastly her intellectual superior is her retarded younger brother. Don't worry about her dumbness though, she takes instruction well, adores discipline, has great cooking and cleaning skills and even has experience caring for infants (younger siblings).
Good, the idiot is warming up to the idea, his mother is not real happy. But she does like the idea of grand children

Quote:
About her lack of smarts. Don't worry too much about that being passed on to your grandkids. I'm pretty sure her mom was secretly hitting the hootch while she was pregnant with her. It's the Eskimo way. So my daughters damaged brain won't be passed on to her children.
I only wish I could say the same thing for my idiot son. Well at least he will make you laugh. Between the two of them they are almost normal.



Quote:
One problem we're having is locating a proper Baptist minister to perform the wedding ceremony. Without that ceremony they can't start their lives together in their cabin. Do you know if any of the pastors at Landover would be willing to make the trip up?
I asked Rev. M. Rodimer if he was interested. He does have a traveling ministry.

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Default Re: Oral Sex is it wrong? - 04-07-2010, 08:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt View Post
=Brother Enoch;501415]
I only wish I could say the same thing for my idiot son. Well at least he will make you laugh.
Good. I like funny stupid rather than stupid stupid. Like atheists.

Quote:
I asked Rev. M. Rodimer if he was interested. He does have a traveling ministry.

Reverend Rodimer would be perfect! I've admired his work for a long time. Plus, I checked and there are 4 truck stops within an hours drive of my homestead. He could witness to a whole new bunch of hairy truckers while he is here!!
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James Dewitt James Dewitt is offline
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Default Re: Oral Sex is it wrong? - 04-08-2010, 12:27 AM

Rev. M. Rodimer, I am so happy that you will do the honors of marring off the kids.
If you want I will fly you in, or you can drive. I know how you do love to minister to truckers. I will pay for all your expenses in advance if you wish. I can give you a prepaid credit card loaded with say $10,000. Diesel fuel is quite expensive, and I do not want you to stay in cheap motels.
If you run short just let me know and I will reload the card.
As to the honorarium, just name your price.
I do need a small favor could you take a small shipment of firearms with you? Its a wedding gift for Brother Enoch.

Brother Enoch I am sending my idiot son of a flight Saturday, and I arranged for a buss ticket for him to get to your homestead. He should be there around 5 or 5:30pm. The buss stop is the liquor store from what I understand. Can we set the date ? I do believe we have reached an agreement. My wife and I will be up 4 or 5 day before the wedding.
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James Dewitt James Dewitt is offline
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Default Re: Oral Sex is it wrong? - 04-08-2010, 12:39 AM

I all most forgot here is a picture of the idiot son of mine. His name is Cletus James Dewitt ( Cletus is my wife's fathers name)
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Thumbs up Re: Oral Sex is it wrong? - 04-08-2010, 12:48 AM

A dilemma for sure.

Any spilling of seed not expressly for the creation of a male Soldier for Christ® is blasphemy.
Sex out of wedlock is a blasphemy.
Interracial sex is blasphemy (gross too).

But at least the messican was not gay, so it is a step in the right direction.
The disgusting oral sex was not with a proper white girl.
You will never have to pay 50 shekels.

So to me it is a messican standoff (pun intended). I suggest contacting Rev. Jim Osborne, he always has good insight into matter such as this.

I assume the girl worked for you. I hope she did the act on her weekly break and not on the clock.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Oral Sex is it wrong? - 04-08-2010, 01:11 AM

=James Hutchins;501682]A dilemma for sure.

Quote:
Any spilling of seed not expressly for the creation of a male Soldier for Christ® is blasphemy.
That's the yucky part she um swallowed the seed

Quote:
Sex out of wedlock is a blasphemy.
Interracial sex is blasphemy (gross too).
I know Brother I know.

Quote:
But at least the messican was not gay, so it is a step in the right direction.
The disgusting oral sex was not with a proper white girl.
You will never have to pay 50 shekels.
My idiot son took her to a taco stand for lunch, and used my money. I deducted the $10.00 from her fathers last pay check. She did not work for me her Dad did.

Quote:
So to me it is a messican standoff (pun intended). I suggest contacting Rev. Jim Osborne, he always has good insight into matter such as this.
I believe Brother Enoch and I have found a way to fix two problems. My idiot son and his half Eskimo daughter will be married SOON. The idiot son will have a wife and a proper place for his seed and Brother Enoch will be rid of daughter, who is getting up in years, she is 14 .Its a win win.
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Smile Re: Oral Sex is it wrong? - 04-08-2010, 02:08 AM

Nothing makes me happier than a story with a blessed ending. Congratulations on the impending grandfatherhood.
I hope you have many grandsons for Christs' Army.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Nathan B. Forrest Nathan B. Forrest is offline
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Default Re: Oral Sex is it wrong? - 04-08-2010, 06:01 AM

I'm wiping a tear from my eye, this event turned out so well!!!! I'd be grateful to be invited to the wedding, I have to make a run into canada with some firearms for the canadian army (all 5 of them).
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Default Re: Oral Sex is it wrong? - 04-08-2010, 09:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt View Post
Brothers I have a problem with my 16 year old boy again.

When we lived in New York I found the lad with a stack of Hustler poronagrapies magazines, he was in the act of handrosex (masturbation). I beat the kids back side but good. I broke my hand doing so. With the help of Brother Hutchins and his deep fried polish sausage tip, I stopped his bad habit. I packed up my family last winter and moved to Freehold so we could get away from the Sin Den called New York.

Yesterday after returning from the men's club I could not find my son anywhere. I noticed that the door of the gardeners shed was ajar. I went across the back yard to have a look see. And then I find a messican girl giving my son oral sex. Both of the completely naked she had her face buried in his lap. I ran the slut messican girl off, and yes I will be talking to her father, Pedro about his future employment as my gardener.

But here is my problem, my son said that it was not that bad because he was not letting his seed hit the ground, she seems to like it in her mouth (that's nasty) and she did not spit it out. I sent the boy off to his room. And then I went to the Bible for guidance.
Yes, that is pretty gross.
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Rev. M. Rodimer Rev. M. Rodimer is offline
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Default Re: Oral Sex is it wrong? - 04-08-2010, 03:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt View Post
I believe Brother Enoch and I have found a way to fix two problems. My idiot son and his half Eskimo daughter will be married SOON. The idiot son will have a wife and a proper place for his seed and Brother Enoch will be rid of daughter, who is getting up in years, she is 14 .Its a win win.
Brother James, I appreciate your kind request that I travel to Alaska to perform the ceremony! I'm not entirely sure why you didn't ask a Landover pastor . . . though I imagine their honoraria are rather steep, what with the dozens of weddings they're called upon to perform each month!


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: Oral Sex is it wrong? - 04-10-2010, 02:26 PM

Brother Enoch, I sent my idiot son off this morning, don't forget to pick him up. If you leave him at the Buss stop/ liquor store he will sniff out a slut.
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Default Re: Oral Sex is it wrong? - 04-10-2010, 04:56 PM

Oral sex is quite pleasurable for both a man and a woman. In fact, I feel like giving my boyfriend a blowjob right now. Ah, and his seed wouldn't be spilled as I put it in jars and send it off for fertility analysis to labs.
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Default Re: Oral Sex is it wrong? - 04-10-2010, 05:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacqueline Risotta View Post
Oral sex is quite pleasurable for both a man and a woman. In fact, I feel like giving my boyfriend a blowjob right now. Ah, and his seed wouldn't be spilled as I put it in jars and send it off for fertility analysis to labs.
Just like in real life, no one here believes you. It's time to go to mama little boy.

People God hates: Proverbs 6:16-19 "These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren."


50 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: Oral Sex is it wrong? - 04-10-2010, 07:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt View Post
Brother Enoch, I sent my idiot son off this morning, don't forget to pick him up. If you leave him at the Buss stop/ liquor store he will sniff out a slut.
On my way to pick him up now. You sent the weaponry too, yes?
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